[Salmacis]

Getting really frustrated with therapy. Still no diagnosis any further than "anger issues" "anxiety issues" "some PSTD" and "depression." WTF? I already knew all that before I went into therapy. I really don't get the point to therapy at all. Aren't they supposed to tell us things we don't already know? I've given a plethora of information at the sessions. If I could put all the pieces together myself, I wouldn't need anyone else to listen to my stupid thoughts. Ugh! Why bother? I think I'd rather go back to being a full-time angry arse who drinks all the time.

[learning1]

Yeah, it is frustrating. But therapy doesn't spell out the answers for you, the therapist tries to help you think of solutions for yourself. Sounds like you had a good level of self awareness and willingness to acknowledge your issues before you started therapy. You just hadn't figured out what to do about them. And you said you're not angry and drinking all the time now, so maybe you've made some progress? It is frustrating as hell when you get stuck sometimes though- I know I regularly wonder if I should quit. I'm sticking with it for now cuz I quit so many times before and the problems didn't go away. Good luck.

[Omers]

Therapists have to be careful about diagnosis. There can be a lot of ramifications of a diagnosis that may not be apparent at first. Some diagnosis can get you denied health insurance or significantly raise your premiums, cost you jobs and all sorts of things. I know that it is frustrating but taking it slow is the responsible thing to do. Even though I clearly had PTSD I carried a Dx of adjustment disorder for several years because it has the lowest potential for harm. Also once you have a Dx in the system they never really go away... even if they are later proven wrong... they can still come back to bite you.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Don't focus on worrying about a label. A label is all it is. Focus on your therapy in helping the problem. That will take you a lot further...

[Salmacis]

Thanks so much for your input, Learning1 & Omers! I'm just so new to "getting help" that I don't know what to expect from T or myself in this process...

Very good point about the health insurance... I hadn't thought of that. My work pays for it, but I imagine if my premium goes up, they'll have yet another reason to justify trying to get rid of me. Without my job, I couldn't afford therapy, much less my alcohol...

LOL I'm still an angry drinker, but thanks to the tears from my newfound deep depression (due to old wounds being ripped opened in therapy), I just have no energy left to act out my aggressions. I guess it will get worse before it gets better, but I'll try to stick it out...

[Salmacis]

Thanks, PTSD! I'm actually one of those odd people that has to have everyone & everything neatly categorized... so I don't know how else to think. It's this - or it's that. Ack! I have so much to learn....

I guess what I was shooting for (in part) with my T is to figure out if I have a legitimate brain malfunction, if my issues are personality related, or if I'm just a bitter, cynical, paranoid, angry person who hates everything and everyone - except cats. I love cats.

[Hope-Full]

I'm 6 months in and have no official "diagnosis" nor do I want one. I just want to learn and grow and figure out how to get through the depression and anxiety and agony that I got myself into.

I agree, that the "diagnosis" is just a label that insurance may or may not need in order to cover your therapy. At first I was a little bugged because I did want to know what was "wrong" with me so we could "fix" it quickly. Now I see that isn't quite how therapy works, and I'm ok with it!

[Salmacis]

Thanks, Hope-Full!! Glad to hear that everyone seems to be content with no diagnosis... I hope I can do the same at some point.

If you *want* a diagnosis you can always get a psychological evaluation... Though, I hate labels too.

[Salmacis]

Thanks, Stormy! I don't necessarily "want" a diagnosis, I just want to know what I'm up against. Is it chemical, biological, learned behavior, personality disorder, etc... I actually didn't realise that a psychological evaluation was separate from psychotherapy... Maybe I should look into that?

At least grouping me in one of those categories would help my peace of mind & let me know what kind of haul I'm in for. I don't like surprises & I don't like dredging up the past if I don't need to.

It also irritates me that the things I find strangest about myself, my T makes no comment on. Like cutting myself at work when I feel like crying... the fact I really have no feelings for most people... the fact I fantasize about torturing and killing people I despise... I could be wrong, but it seems these things might be more important to address rather than how I feel about my mother. I feel my mom is hopelessly flawed, but I love her as she is & care about her well-being, so I just don't get it.

Gah! Sorry, I'm just ranting now... as I tend to do. Thanks to everyone for their input!

You're not ranting. What you are stating makes sense, and it makes sense that for you, a diagnosis may provide answers. A psychological evaluation is a series of standardized testing administered by a psychologist and may help give answers to if it's a mood disorder, personality disorder, organic problem, etc. It may also give your therapist some direction as to what they're up against. I always refer for psychological evaluations if I am unsure about where a client may fall in diagnostic criteria. Perhaps ask your therapist for a referral? They are expensive, so hopefully insurance will cover this. But if you get a good psychologist they can do a really, really good job gathering ALL the information needed to administer the test and get you some of the answers.

[Out_of_denial]

Hi, We sound an aweful alot alike. I'm about 9 months in. I started three days before I had a total meltdown over a $70 doctor bill. I was taken via police car to the Co. Mental hospital on my daughters birthday. It was a little drastic probably, but I had nothing to do with it. But that's how strongly I reacted when nothing in my life was staying in it's compartment any more.

I only learned of my diagnosis about two months ago from the insurance co. Major depressive disorder-sever, without physcohtic episodes. It doesn't matter to me. I am a lot better and what I have found is just to take your time gaining trust. Mostly that they know what they are talking about. You will probably learn that you have built up incredible denial. I was literally mad at myself for being tricked by my own brain.

My journey has gone in steps. Every once in a while, I have a "revelation" of some kind. Sometimes big, sometimes small, but they've added up. When i first came here, I wrote about the biggest one. Maybe you can find it. While the Total High I got from it didn't last, a lot of it did. I am not a searing ball of ragey nerves any more.

If you even have a question about therapy, I think I've figured out a lot of it. Try to look at yourself from outside yourself and become interested in your symptoms, thoughts, everything.

Hang in there. Amy

[Salmacis]

Thanks, Stormy! I really don't *want* to be labeled, but I feel it might help me understand better why I'm feeling & doing the things I am. I believe my T is also licensed to do the testing... will check w/insurance.

Thanks, Amy! It certainly seems like maybe I'm pushing too much & that this whole process is going to take longer than I anticipated...

Must. Exercise. Patience.

[Amore415]

Originally Posted by Salmacis

Getting really frustrated with therapy. Still no diagnosis any further than "anger issues" "anxiety issues" "some PSTD" and "depression." WTF? I already knew all that before I went into therapy. I really don't get the point to therapy at all. Aren't they supposed to tell us things we don't already know? I've given a plethora of information at the sessions. If I could put all the pieces together myself, I wouldn't need anyone else to listen to my stupid thoughts. Ugh! Why bother? I think I'd rather go back to being a full-time angry arse who drinks all the time.

Therapists don't really give diagnosis because they want you to figure that out for yourself. If you want a diagnosis (and maybe try some meds which may help in your therapy and life depending on the issues) go to a psychiatrist but continue seeing the therapist. They have very different roles in our mental health process.