[lastyearisblank]

My T and I have been communicating albeit vaguely over the past week via email/ phone.

This is not a trustworthy person. I am pretty sure that she has her own issues. And she rejected me again... I'm really upset because our last session dealt with SUI thoughts and I realize that it's not her fault she doesn't want to help... but I'm upset not to have help.

I don't know why I do this, go back to people who do this!!

Look, no negative comments this time. I'm really not in the mood. I would love a hug though. I'm really feeling wretched in general.

[skysblue]

:

[lastyearisblank]

Thank you skysblue... and I know you have tons of your own stuff to deal with!!! Sending you hugs back

[crazycanbegood]

i owe you a and here's another for the road

[delicatefade26]

[kaliope]

lastyearisblank
perhaps it is time to find another provider. chances are you are too intense, sui is too intense for this T to handle. some just are not equipped.

i was seeing a T at my college. i was in a manic cycle. she kept cancelling our appts. then i was suicidal. it was near the end of our session. i was trying to tell her how scared i was, using all the buzz words. she could have locked me up for what i was saying. i was frantic. and what is she doing? she is mirroring my feelings to me. "yes, you sound really frightened" she could not wait to get me out of her office. it was ridiculous.

unfortunately, Ts are human too. She should be professional enough to refer you out though if she is unable to care for your needs in an appropriate manner. leading you along until she feels comfortable enough to deal with you again is totally unprofessional.

[unaluna]

Please give yourself the gift of someone else to talk this over with. It doesn't have to be permanent, you needn't feel disloyal, you CAN make other choices in life - that was then, this is now. Or as the Buddhists say, That was Zen, this is Tzao. Please don't make me do one of those corny oh alright ((((((LYIB))))))

[lastyearisblank]

I () PC.
Period.

[swimmergirl]

(((((((((LYIB))))))))

Sending lots of love your way. I don't have any mindblowing advice(at least not today ha ha) but you are supported and not alone here. I hope you can find peace and what you need to progress. Be gentle and stay safe, k? I would agree with others that maybe you should try to find another T.

Sending you many hugs

I hope you can look for someone who can help you better

[lastyearisblank]

Ty I am anxious today because my dad is coming over. I don't know how to deal with any of this-- T not calling me, boys calling me-- I don't know. None of it seems real. T was a female I trusted. I dunno ahhhhhh..... sorry I'll shut up now.

[Open Eyes]

(((((((((lastyearisblank))))))))))

I am so sorry to hear that you are not getting the support you need. I can really relate to how it feels to have a T that is too busy dealing with their own issues and feeling somewhat deserted. But please don't take this personally or that you are the problem. If your therapist was good at actually being a therapist she or he would have made sure to listen intently when you expressed those feelings. Because what that means is that you are feeling overwhelmed and need more support and to know that someone is really listening and making an effort to help you get even more support or appointments to give you a chance to express your real need.

Please make sure you find another therapist right away. No matter how bad you feel, you must make sure you understand that these feelings need attention and you need support. And don't blame yourself for someone elses inadequacies.

Lastyear, No matter how bad it gets IT WILL GET BETTER and YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT. Your not loving yourself right now, your lost, that is all, and that can MOST DEFINITELY CHANGE.

I talked about that myself with my therapist tonite during my appointment. I have been going through a rough spot and I get very hard on myself and even angry at myself for not somehow being stronger. But you have to know, YOU JUST HAVENT LEARNED HOW TO BE STRONGER YET. Your just human Lastyear, and your not going to have all the answers or lifeskills yet, your going to have to learn and it is going to take time. And that means that you need to find the right therapist that has the skills to really help you and they are out there and you can get help.

Remember those words, "up until now" keep those words with you all the time. Every time you feel low remember these words and how you CAN LEARN TO OVERCOME. Sometimes it can be very dark and so hard to see the light, but it doesn't mean it wont come, you have to believe it will. And eventually it actually will come because your going to LEARN HOW TO SEE IT AND LET IT GUIDE YOU. And that is why you have to keep looking and KNOW that someone is out there that can REALLY HELP YOU AND LISTEN. Your just really lost right now, but that doesn't mean you cant find your way, when you talk about SUI you are saying "I AM SO VERY LOST AND IT FEELS HOPELESS" but that doesn't mean it will stay that way. You are just expressing that you really need extra help and support.

We are here, we are listening and we understand and you have lots of warm hugs and support to let you know, KEEP ASKING FOR HELP, AS LONG AS YOU KEEP ASKING, YOU WILL GET IT. Dont be ashamed or afraid, if a therapist does not help you and listen FIND ONE THAT CAN. I promise you, they ARE out there.

I will also keep you in my prayers

Open Eyes

[nannypat]

I have those feelings too. Keep talking. Sending lots of hugs and supports. We will get through this.

[Wren_]

(((((((((((((Lastyearisblank)))))))))))))))))

wrapping you in a giant safe tiger sized hug

please don't shut up .....

seems that's part of the problem right now; not having anywhere safe to share what's going on in your head, so all the more reason to talk and know that you will be heard

[rainbow8]

I hope you get the help you need soon, lyib.

[rainbow_rose]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{lastyearisblank}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[BonnieJean]

Please don't shut up.

[dismissed feelings]

So sorry to hear that LYIB!

Please do something nice for yourself! You ARE worth it!!!!

[granite1]

[learning1]

[lastyearisblank]

I wish I knew all of you so I could bake you a giant cake. Or something.

Thank you for these replies. I feel silly for asking for it but T really shook me, you know? There's something about being too damaged to be cared for by a shrink.... But no yeah, it's not that cut and dry.

[sittingatwatersedge]

(((((((((((((((( lyb )))))))))))))))

[Butterflies Are Free]

I don't think you are too damaged to be cared for at all - I think that T is not attuned to your feelings and what you are going through. I am really sorry. BIG HUGS!!!!!

[learning1]

Originally Posted by lastyearisblank

I wish I knew all of you so I could bake you a giant cake. Or something.

Thank you for these replies. I feel silly for asking for it but T really shook me, you know? There's something about being too damaged to be cared for by a shrink.... But no yeah, it's not that cut and dry.

lyib, you don't have to do anything to get 'cept come ask

and I think the main trick to getting cared for by a T is just to show up and not cancel. but I guess that means finding one you like well enough to show up. I think you can find a nicer one. You probably know from my other posts that it only took me somewhere around 13 tries or so, over 18 years , (assuming I keep sticking with the current one). I hope it goes faster for you!

I understand what you mean about feeling too damaged to be cared for by a shrink. I used to feel the same way , with my 1st T--especially when she dumped me because she couldn't "handle" me. GeesH! I felt horrible for SO long. But you know what?It turns out that the problem was with HER-- it was her inadequacy, not MINE. I can see that now (3 years later!)
I'm so sorry you're hurting so much.