HAD TO MAKE 911 CALL TO T.....

Ok...I managed another day of staying alive.
I kept busy all darn day. Barely gave myself time to just be.
I guess hearing from my T made a huge difference. And since she is not feeling well I let her know if needed I would go to ER only because contacting her is not likely since she is sick. This however is not my normal practice as I hate the hospital. Been hospitalized in the psych ward about 20 times in my life....
But, stayed safe all day.

sj? I dont know you but I'll tell yah u sure seem strong........ u were able to actually DO something to help yourself............ u got up and did THINGS.......... what is your everyday life like? Do u work? go out somewhere everyday? r u isolated like I am? Well, by my own choice I guess I isolate a lot....... rather spend time with my horses then my fellow human beings most of the time........... But when I really think I'm just gonna cut out the light.... it's a person I try to reach out to............... u seemed pretty desperate when u were posting and I couldn't help but wonder if u had any friends u could call on the phone and talk to......... I think if this board were a chat it would be better........... anyway, i just read the whole thread and Im glad u were able to provide a safe place 4 u. I wish I could do that better.

I hear people say I am strong...hard to believe.
I guess somehow I have really good fight in me even when things are not seeming stable for me.
I do work. I also drive so I get out whenever I can.
I have good friends but I learned a long time ago not to trust anyone. So, I would never call them in time of crisis as that is how I may get abandoned by them.
I will only call T in crisis or sweat it out and do things this forum doesn't cover.
I try to express as much as what is going on inside of me here on PC and then allow my soul to be guided by the things my T has taught me...if that makes sense??