Deeply entrenched again...

A trampoline, a
a , popcorn crunchin', pizza eatin, pop spillin' - and they wonder why nuthin' gets done in regular therapy?! Ha, in DBT group they passed a cootie orange around, I'll never forget THAT session!

AWESOME!! SO HAPPY for you!! Looking forward to riding in your pocket. -you don't mind if I chat with pocket T for a bit do you? Lol.

Hi Skysblue,

I think yes, she just said that "she would not recommend" and since I was there for her expert opinion, I think that was a "no". Originally when I asked the 2nd DBT T about being able to continue seeing my T, he just said ethically that wouldn't be possible. It would be "counterintuitive" to therapy with him. It was hard to decipher if they would have allowed me into the group only, because neither wanted to discuss that much without full DBT program as that is what they thought I needed...and with them as my T, the direction to me was unequivocally 'no' you may not continue with your T.

Have I answered your question? It was really confusing.

Glad to hear your t was able to to get a compromise in place and that you are feeling better.

No, with you I'd fully expect it, and probably for some rocking music or something to start spilling out.
..lots of hugging going on in there too!!!

Ok, Hankster..

What do you DO in therapy?? Man, I don't get no pizza??
You know, I'm almost afraid to ask about the 'cootie orange'...but have to anyway...what???
Any other friendly warning of what I should expect???!!
Thanks!!

Wysteria Blue

Hey Mcl6136,

Yeah, I'm really nervous about being put in this mold or having everyone label me and then react to the label and not me or even worse living up to the label! I went to a group a few weeks ago and it was like neo-nazi training for the mentally unstable. SCARY!! Yes, I'm afraid of being unnaturally forced to be something I'm not, but then again, my way hasn't been working...so I guess I need to be open to a different approach and a different way of thinking. It's all nerve-wracking right now. Having my T at my back gives me some courage though.
I've often relied on his hope when I had none of my own. On his vision of me when I feel worthless. He sees something worth saving...and I trust him more than I trust my own viewpoint a lot of the time.

I know the voices of Depression and ED and Perfectionism and Twisted Thinking and the Past sing loudly in my head. Sometimes their songs can be oddly alluring and will as surely pull me overboard to drown as the song of the mermaids in the old legends. That may sound a bit strange, but I know T's viewpoint and faith are a lot more secure and true than mine right now.

I really appreciate your note and thinking of me. I will be careful and also have to be available to what good may be behind this door that is opening. Like all the challenges in my life it seems to be about balance. We'll see, won't we?

Wysteria Blue

So, if they recommended that you couldn't read romance novels, you'd have to stop? Or that going out to coffee with friends and chatting about therapy, you'd need to desist? Or getting support and uplift from your mother, you'd have to quit talking to her?

I'm sorry, but this seems so insane to me. That having access to your T with whom you feel support and with whom you feel close is 'verboten'. I'd have a hard time trusting such a rigid approach to healing. It seems like such a control tactic. It makes me furious to hear such complete nonsense. These so-called experts can act like nazis when it suits their purposes under the guise of helping you. I see medical doctors pull the same stunts. Power is addicting. They see your need and your vulnerability and take advantage of it. I don't care how useful and effective their methods might be in healing because telling you that you must leave your beloved T is contradictory to their message. Absolute insanity, in my opinion.

My mother thought it wasn't right that my daughter was so attached to her beloved teddy bear. So, in her 'wisdom', she hid it and told my daughter it was lost. My daughter suffered immensely for weeks but she was 'healed' of her attachment to teddy bear. 20 years later my mother returned to her her teddy bear. Was the pain in losing that comfort she got from it worth the so-called 'healing'? I think not. It was cruel. And so, I also believe it's cruel to demand that you leave your T for the healing you will receive from the DBT.

Thankfully they made a compromise but it still doesn't take away the sting of their initial insistence.

I think the cootie orange was in the DBT mindfulness module, I don't remember if we were tasting or sniffing or what, I was just getting grossed out that somebody peeled or sliced this orange, I didn't know where her hands had been, now they're passing the oranges around the table, everybody is breathing on them - NEED I GO ON?! Whatever I was supposed to be mindful of that module, obviously got lost! And really, I live like a pig, but my OWN germs, I don't mind, I guess!

Boy, the politics around this, though, eh? My pdoc had suggested I attend DBT. His therapy supervisor was my T, but his medical supervision was the DBT cohort at uni. But I was already seeing T in his private practice years before, so they couldn't really mess with that.

As for the snacks, it's just to keep the pocket riders from calling out!

BTW, T cancelled on me today, I was on the bus already, and the bus driver was calling out asking who needed a transfer held, so I couldn't really talk, plus my tummy was rumbling (along with my cellphone) and i'm like great, did T give me his flu when he hugged me yesterday? and i'm dry swallowing generic Immodiums and feeling feverish, but I'm back home now, phew!

As for the snacks, it's just to keep the pocket riders from calling out!

BTW, T cancelled on me today, I was on the bus already, and the bus driver was calling out asking who needed a transfer held, so I couldn't really talk, plus my tummy was rumbling (along with my cellphone) and i'm like great, did T give me his flu when he hugged me yesterday? and i'm dry swallowing generic Immodiums and feeling feverish, but I'm back home now, phew![/quote]

Hi Hank,

I'm sorry you are feeling poorly..Talk about cooties!! and T cooties at that!! lol.. I really hope you start feeling better soon. Push the fluids..and go with Tylenol over the others, might be a little easier on the tummy. Sorry..momma bear took over for a sec. ooops!

So I guess you pocket riders are wanting snacks, huh?? Ok..will work on something. Hope nobody's allergic to chocolate.. he might notice the pepperoni smells emmanating from my bags.. BTW the appt is Mon at 9 so be ready early. You guys are just too funny..I guess you'll be wanting something to drink too??

Yeah the politics and stipulations have been pretty cruddy. Just so glad my T had the cajones to stand up for me when I didn't know how. I'm really feeling some big Guilt for doubting our relationship and him during all of this. I've learned some big lessons through this process. Ended up in the ER yesterday from all the stress. I'm in bed myself today. I'm fine, just need some rest. I don't think paying bills was exactly the stress-free activity they had in mind..blech!!

Take care of you!! Huggles!!

PS...Sending you a funny pic to brighten your day..enjoy!

Wysteria Blue (aka Nurse Ratchet..lol)

I'm surprised somebody didn't run that sign over!

Notice there are no workers present in the picture... I sure wouldn't stand nearby in a hard hat and little orange vest!!
Hope you're feeling better... Sleep well.
WB

Thanks, you too! ER? Scary, but you're okay now?

[quote=skysblue;2043267]So, if they recommended that you couldn't read romance novels, you'd have to stop? Or that going out to coffee with friends and chatting about therapy, you'd need to desist? Or getting support and uplift from your mother, you'd have to quit talking to her?

I'm sorry, but this seems so insane to me. That having access to your T with whom you feel support and with whom you feel close is 'verboten'. I'd have a hard time trusting such a rigid approach to healing. It seems like such a control tactic. It makes me furious to hear such complete nonsense.

Hey Skysblue,

I was really confused by this too. Talked to my T today and kind of asked what if any stipulations were put on my continuing therapy with him and why. He said the big deal was "splitting" of therapists where one T would say one thing and the DBT T would say another and then I would be left feeling lost and confused. (GEE I have no idea how THAT feels lately!!!) Well, I was working with he and another therapist out in California and we were always able to work out any differences like that because I would simply ASK!!! HELLO!! And my T has studied DBT and will be very careful to support the process.

I think your mom sucked for taking the Teddy Bear away...Kids naturally grow out of these things and you're right, if they need them, there's usually a reason behind it. I think it's better to find out WHY the child feels the need for the extra security and protection and help to provide it as a mother in other ways than taking something away. Sorry. Yeah, I remember vividly the day my baby blanket "got eaten" by the washing machine. It got real ugly.

I really appreciate all your thoughts. Yeah the "sting" is lingering and the fact that I still will have to work with the lady DBT therapist will be a little hard for a while. And the wedge that was driven into my relationship with my T is making me feel a lot of bad feelings. He's done a lot to dispel them, but I need to do my part to set it right too.

Hugs!!

WB

Aaaaaah! dang needed a trigger warning on that puppy... T as a pocket rider... OMG!!!

I think I need to go change into something without pockets!

OMG the heeby geebys!


Can I up-size that lat emoticon????

((((((Wysteria)))))),

I'm sorry I didn't post in your thread until now. I struggle with the DBT issue because none of my Ts recommended it to me even though I have BPD. I am very happy that you are going to still see your T, as he sounds like a really good one and I think it would be difficult for you to have to switch when you're happy with him. I hope that DBT helps and I'm curious to learn how you like it.