Why is it okay for some to exchange emails?

I feel lucky that my T encourages email. She said that at our first meeting but it took me a little while to feel comfortable contacting her. While we've had a few miscommunications, we seem to be able to spot them and address them quickly rather than result in me getting worked up over anything. Her responses always come from a caring place. If something is too big for email she'll say that we'll talk about it in person. Once or twice in her replies she's asked if she's addressed what I've wanted her to address.

For me, email represents an opportunity for me to clear the air or clarify things in session, update her on situations in my life between sessions that I want help with, or just to feel like she's there in a manner that's not time-dependent on her part. When I was having a hard time talking to her in person because I needed distance, I was able to write to her to maintain the closeness necessary for the relationship because I could pretend I was just writing and not writing to someone in particular. In general, I have a hard time with verbal communication (particularly with emotions), but communicating through written words helps me communicate more effectively with fewer frustrations.

I'm glad it works for you. For me, it doesn't work for my T to email me back because she can't answer me in depth and that hurts me.

So, I am very happy right now that I can still email her as much as I want to, I don't expect any answers, and it works!!! I emailed her how much I liked our session, I sent her my poem, and am sending her photos from my trip!! I know she reads everything I send her.

I wonder if it's just a matter of perspective/expectations. The main reason I email is for me to tell her something, not to get a satisfactory response. I've mentioned several times to her in some of my longer emails that I don't expect a response (because I feel intrusive by initiating contact outside the office - my thing to deal with since she's offered/encouraged it - and because I don't want to sit on pins and needles waiting for a response). Sometimes she replies, sometimes she doesn't; when she doesn't, she refers to what I've said when we meet so I feel justified in sending it. Getting a response from her is always calming or helpful though.

Either way, I'm glad you're able to share with her and you know she reads what you send her.

I e-mail my T - they are often long e-mails with stuff I feel unable to share in the sessions. My T is not supportive of me doing this and has made it clear that his preference is for me to talk about these in session.

I often have to wait a few days for a response from T and then it is usually very brief. Sometimes when I e-mail it is because I am having a really hard time and again T has said his preference is for me to call him, but I can't do that. He may then in his e-mail just write a couple of sentences reminding me to breathe / move / grounding stuff or posing me a question.

I know that the most useful thing is for me to talk about these things in session - however when I get in that head spin writing everything down and sending it away somewhere that I know is safe, does help me and T acknowledges that which is why he doesn't say I can't e-mail.

So although it is something I do, I can't say it is totally OK with T and I am now trying hard to break that habit.

Soup