Is it okay for a therapist to ask you if you 'touch yourself'?

Completely disagree. I've actually never had anything but male therapists. We've worked on all sorts of issues, including sexual issues. Transference has never been a problem. They have always been completely appropriate, professional, and very effective therapists.

I said it was my opinion! I'm not going into a long harangue about why. I'm entitled to express it.

Wingin' it, when you state an opinion as thought it should be a rule that applies to all of us -- "I believe that women should only see a female therapist" -- you need to be prepared to back it up with solid reasons why you believe this. Of course you are entitled to your opinion, but when you express it as an arbitrary rule that should apply to everyone, it comes across as a bit dictatorial.

I didn't state it as a rule. "I believe" means an opinion last time I checked. I don't have to validate it to anyone.

I see a female T, and I still wouldn't find it an appropriate topic to discuss. There has to be a line for TMI somewhere, even in therapy! Right?!

Just because they ask does not mean you have to answer. There are parts of my history that make it not inappropriate for a t to ask about intimate matters, but if I feel I do not want to discuss it, I am always free to refuse or to ask them to explain how it would fit into the situation for which I was seeing them.

Perhaps a different thread could be started on the gender of therapists.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showt...05#post2053305

From the male T's, having a positive relationship with them has helped me see men as individual people, not just abusers and as the violent perpetrators of the world.

I agree with this completely. I really wanted a male therapist this time around, because I have NEVER had a positive male role in my life. EVER. It would be nice to know that not all men are cheating abusers. I have never been in a relationship period, because I fear men so much. Due to my upbringing. I had good times with my last therapist, despite the awkward question. But our last year together was all boundary crossing issues on his part and it turned out horrible.

I didn't state it as a rule. "I believe" means an opinion last time I checked. I don't have to validate it to anyone.

Wingin' it. As the OP I didn't take offense to the statement. You made it pretty clear that it was personal issues on your part, that made you think like that. You don't have to justify your personal reasonings on this thread. Personal reasonings, are well personal.

Wingin' it, when you state an opinion as thought it should be a rule that applies to all of us -- "I believe that women should only see a female therapist" -- you need to be prepared to back it up with solid reasons why you believe this. Of course you are entitled to your opinion, but when you express it as an arbitrary rule that should apply to everyone, it comes across as a bit dictatorial.

I think her wording was off, but I don't think she meant it the way we're taking it. Sometimes people just mess up communication. I, as one of those people, understand. She did make it pretty clear it was for personal reasonings. Maybe she had a bad stint with a male therapist or really anything. I don't think she should have to tell us about that.

Wingin'-it's opinion did appear to be that s/he wanted to decide for other people. I just took it at face value. This opinion doesn't affect me at this point in time, but if W-i runs for office, I'll be voting! Aside from that, W-I is still invited to my birthday party.

Hankster, I believe no one should be allowed to have birthday parties.

I don't have birthday parties, heckler. Does that make you like me more?

That's cool, but I will still expect a gift...! How about a welcome back party? I missed you!

And I am entitled to express my opinion about what you write. If you don't want people to respond to your opinion, don't post it.

Anne

I think that was sort of passive aggressive? Not that I'm trying to start a fight or anything, but I'm kind of in shock?

No, PH was just making a remark about who can have what - women having male T's etc, and pointing out how arbitrary such ideas can become. I didn't get it at first either - I was just worried about my presents!

Thank you Hankster, that's exactly right.

My opinion still stands. It was passive aggressive.

Unless the question has a legitimate relation to therapy, such as sex therapy or somehow relevant to treatment ...otherwise this is VERY inappropriate. Any time someone even a doctor makes you uncomfortable where you suspect this is wrong - go and speak up for yourself and refuse to answer. You have the right to say no and answer only questions you're comfortable with.

I don't quite understand why you justifyied the post that made PH write that clear exaggeration of the birthday, while this last one is instead "passive aggressive"...

They are saying the same exact concept, except PH is not really believing people shouldn't have birthdays parties.

The reason I took it as passive aggressive is because he was mocking Wingin' It, to another person on the thread.

Wingin' It says "I personally believe that women should only see a female therapist. "

And PreacherHeckler says "Hankster, I believe no one should be allowed to have birthday parties. "

It's passive aggressive. He is clearly mocking Wingin' It, after she's already explained herself.

That is a pure definition of passive aggressive. He wanted to make it known that he thought what she said was stupid, so he ran around a bush and mocked her.

All PreacherHeckler had to say, is what I said. "I still stand by my opinion that what you said was wrong". You don't mock someone. That's not right.

Lydia, I am neither male nor passive-aggressive, but I doubt that I can convince you of either so I won't try.

And "they say" women don't have a sense of humor!

Lets try to get back on topic here without the arguing? Everyone will have opinions that are going to be different. Not really something to argue about right? Thanks for understanding this is a support site.

Got it, bebop. Sorry for the distraction... my bad.

I'd be put off if a therapist asked me specifically, "Do you touch yourself?" They can at least ask more politely. Like, do you masturbate, or do you take care of things yourself.. Honestly, if a client were talking about an issue where its important enough to bring up whether or not they masturbate, the client should tell them if they want to, without having to be asked. The client has all the control over what information he or she tells the therapist. And its perfectly fine if he or she decides not to answer the question.