Is it okay for a therapist to ask you if you 'touch yourself'?

I understand where you are coming from. However I have had very good male therapists (I am female) that have helped me a lot. Even helped me about my r*pe and guilt over masturbation. It all really boils down to how much you trust the therapist to tell that kind of information to. Therapists are very well trained to handle sexual issues, even with the opposite sex. It's understandable that clients who need to talk about sexual things usually feel more comfortable with the same sex. Just that talking about it to opposite sex can be just as therapeutic in the right kind of client/therapist setting.

"just some girl" posted that there has to be a boundary in therapy, that some thing are TMI. I asked my T more than once if anything is TMI in my therapy. She said, emphatically, "no". So, I've told her some very embarrassing stuff about sex and it's always been okay with her.

She asked me questions about sex early in therapy but nothing about "touching myself". I wouldn't have liked the question. It's different when a client brings it up vs the T.

I agree, there is no TMI in therapy. My T and I have definitely had discussions about sexual topics and she has always handled them in an appropriate and professional manner. Usually, I am the one who brings them up and my T follows my lead. However, I would be comfortable if she brought them up, too, given she had a reason to do so. For me, there isn't anything T could ask me that I would consider off limits. That's partly because I'm an open person and I feel comfortable talking about sexuality, and partly because of how much I trust my T. I know that if she asked me a question about sexuality, it would be for a legitimate reason. So, while my T has not asked me that specific question, she has asked me other questions that are just as personal. And, if she did happen to ask me that question, I would have no problem answering it. But again, it all depends on the context, the client's level of comfort, and the relationship between T and client.

I think it's really important to look at the intent and context behind the question before a blanket statement is made.

As Dr. Muffin indicated, phrasing is important. My therapist and I talk about sex a lot. At first I thought he was enjoying it a little *too* much, but I soon realized that he was helping me to identify a huge issue. One that I didn't even want to think about.

I'm pretty sure, however, that having a male therapist *did* complicate things, but it was a complication that I needed to sort out.

It helped me to realize that men *could* be kind, and approach things will no ill intent or ulterior motive.

Sexual topics can exist in a room and they don't spoil anything.

In fact, I came to realize that it wasn't *about* him at all, it was about me.

wow - no I've never had that asked of me, and I've had 6 therapists now.
Ok so one gal was big on Louise Hays and when I had a migraine, she went to the Louise Hays body book, looked up migraines, and said "Well it says here.... if you get migraines, you need to... well... I'll just let you read it." Hands me the book, and that's what it said to do to relieve a migraine. Never heard of that before ROFL. But i sure never thought a therapist would say that to me either.

I think the dr was either a pervert or idiot. Im glad youre not seeing him anymore.

Not kiya' s dr , but the one asking of client" played with herself" even wording is offensive and unprofessional

Wow, no way. Not unless this is something specific you are working on.. ? Doesn't sound like it tho.

My mom had to see a T after a car accident because of a lawsuit and the T told her she needed to do certain sexual acts with my dad, and suggested a book that had nothing to do with therapy and told her a specific part of the book to read. It had a pretty graphic sexual encounter in the book. Very much inappropriate for the reason she was in therapy.

My T has asked me about a few things and asked if it was okay to ask me and if I was comfortable discussing it. I told her no it wasn't and No I was not comfortable with it. She does think it's something we will need to work on down the road.

Let's not get into "over-analyzing" someones opinion...it's an opinion...move on. I personally would only see a female therapist with my sexual issues, but many for many people gender would not matter.

Thanks for this.

I guess it's a therapist's job to ask difficult questions. T can't know which questions are difficult until it's too late. It still hurts, though.

I think it depends on the issues being dealt with in therapy. I think asking if you "touch yourself" is rather juvenile sounding. I'd be put off by that more than anything and would probably say "Yes, I masturbate. Why?"

I wasn't an easy client. I even insisted on seeing my file on my last session to see what her notes said about me.

I think the important thing is that it made you uncomfortable, and to let your therapist know that the question makes you uncomfortable and why it does. The phrase "touching yourself" skeeves me out personally (I would actually probably say that).

I guess perhaps the question is whether you are uncomfortable about the topic itself, but the therapist is competent and ethical enough to help you, or if the therapist is triggering a red flag and you should move on.

If you don't feel comfortable asserting yourself to this therapist, then that might be something to consider.

One possible answer is, "I'm not ready for that question."

I'm fairly comfortable talking about sex, but "masturbate" is a word I still find difficult to say.