Does it get easier to talk to T???

Hi,

Ive been with my T for a little over three years now, and things are still very difficult for me. Dont get me wrong, shes a very kind person, not pushy, understanding, and helpful, but I have such a hard time. I stare at the floor when Im in her office, my hands sweat continously, and the anxiety, well, its high. I get so nervous that I blank out at times and kinda 'go away' in my own mind. I want to move past this fear so badly, and I have told her many times how nervous I am, and shes very understanding, just wish I could move past it. I dont know, it might just be my insecurities that make me so uncomfortable, but what do I do about it. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to relax more when Im in the office. On the phone I seem to be able to talk a bit more with her, and that can be helpful, but even then, I get stuck at times. Just wondering what to do. Is thier anything people do to kind of prepare for a session, am I the only one who has such an awful time trying to open up. I do feel as though I trust her for the most part, and again, the parts that dont trust, well, I know I need to work on that with her, its just so darn hard. Why am I such an insecure thud when it comes to therapy, I know shes only trying to help, why cant that be enough?? Any sugesstions would be greatly appreciated!!

-Jodi

I asked a similar question a while back, and the piece of advice that I found most useful was: write down what you want to share before the session starts, and then bring that paper into the session with you. It really helped me stay focused.

Every time I see a new therapist I go through this. Especially if the therapist is the type that just sits there and waits for me to say something. I do a variety of workbooks, crafts and journaling around my problems so the first thing I do is every session give that weeks journal entries to my therapist to either read right then or later when she has time. That helps the therapist get to know me and also know some of the things I forget to say or havent said for whatever reasons. Sometimes I do prepare the night before a session -I put into my backpack things like my workbook exercises, projects and so on. That way I don't forget the next day to take things with me. When I get to my therapists office I look into my backpack and pull out this or that and we're off and talking.

I wish I could say "Yes! of course!"

In my case, it did get a lot easier. But I still get nervous at times...even though I really trust my T.

I agree with you...it's not about trust, but one's insecurities...

I get nervous when I don't have anything to say...or start thinking should I say this?

I also get very nervous when my T asks me a key question...I answer yes, no, maybe, I don't know...when I really know there soooo much to talk about there...

I also write things down. It's easier to say things that way. My T reads it right there, or later if I feel like I can't stand her reading it w me.

But I have to say...the most satisfying sessions are those in which I just DON' T think and LET Go.
Sometimes that happens and it's great. It makes my day

Before the session write down what you want to talk about. You can do deep breathing exercises or grounding techniques when you are in the office with the T. You can also buy tension balls or any kind of toy or whatever that has like beads or sand in it and if you squeeze or rub it in your hands that should help you to ground yourself.

thanks for your suggestions, I will try to write things down and see if that helps. I appreciate your words all!!

-Jodi

hi my first post -- in case it comes up screwy or something

anyways just to tell u upfront i dont have any ideas to help you at all -- but i so know of what u speak -- i, too have been in therapy for 3 years (3.5) and there are still times i dont speak for the whole session --- i know it took me just over a year to be able to do anything more than answer in one word responses --- dont know if it helps to know there are others at the 3 year mark, still having major troubles talking despite seeing a wonderful therapist .... best of luck to you ... t/c ,
z