Why I don't want a new T (rant)

My Pdoc has finally told me she can no longer see me if I don't get back in therapy. Lately she's just been ticking me off but that's another story. So I've been looking at this list of Ts that are close to me that insurance covers. Had this list for 2 weeks and still not made one phone call. So I thought about what has my hackles up about getting a new T and I figured it out.

I have had 4 Ts since I started therapy all of them moved somewhere else and tried to pawn me off on another T. They want to rip open every old infected scar you have. Drain everything out of it so it can start to heal right. Then right in the middle while you are a raw mess they move. They tell you "It'll be fine I gave your file to one of my associates. They'll take over from here." Really why thank you. I really appreciate you giving all my darkest ramblings and secrets to a complete stranger that I don't even know and don't know if I will like or trust. Who cares that you share office space with them? Why start something you aren't gonna finish? I'm tired of going over the same crap with new people and having to start all over. Why should I believe for one second this time will be different? What's the point of starting over yet again? Isn't that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over yet expecting a different result. Really do I have the time and energy to invest in another worthless relationship that will probably end as soon as I start to open up? I don't think I do but I don't have a choice.

wow, I can't even imagine what this must be like. sorry for all that you have been through.

I know this may not sound all that helpful, but have you told yr pdoc this? maybe even, have you ever gone over this with a new T before starting with him/her? I know that no one has a crystal ball on the future, but there are so many people on PC who have been with same T for 5/10/15 yrs or more.

maybe yr insistent pdoc can come up with some concrete suggestions, instead of just laying down ultimatums. hugs to you ((((((((( rdv )))))))))

I can't imagine that either. I have had a lot of hurtful things come out of my former T relationship, but I would NOT want that kind of transition. I think it's clear that you need to flag this whole interrupted care issue with your p doc! Yes, I think continuity is critical!!!

Some of us are lucky to stay with the same T and some arent. Part of the problem is we have big issues that may take a long time to resolve. Im alsp sorry about the way your Ts went about the transition, especially giving your file to someone without your permission.. Ive had some similar experiences. I had one T go on vacation and never come back. Im fact she had a very personal journal of mine too and never gave it back. But im glad i still sought help
after her. I have since seen 2 great Ts. I just had to stop both times because of insurance. Let your new T know this is your primary concern from the get go so it wont happen this time.

Oh boy, that sucks. I'm sorry; I would HATE THAT.

I'm contemplating looking for a new T and the only thing that holds me back is expecting a different result and just getting the came old crap.

Big hugs to you.

Thank you all for the replies and hugs. I just have to bite the bullet and do it. I just had to whine first. That is a very good idea to let the new T know upfront that I'm looking for long term treatment and making sure they are planning to stick around. My Pdoc is very much a fan of tough love. I think she's being a hard ***** to try to motivate to do something even if it is ahve a hissy at her. I think she just wants to see some emotion of any kind