Looking for some answers

Ok so I haven't posted in awhile...some of you (well prob a lot) don't even know me really well...but I had been posting about my T-and deciding to terminate with him because of his inability to give me a set day/time each week and his busyness were causing me such anxiety and distress it was overshadowing any of the work we were doing...the benefits were no longer outweighing the cost it was having...and it has been discussed with T-no way for him to give me what I need-my spot. When I told him through email I was terminating, he suggested a transition session-that he really does care for my healing and well being, I said a closure session would be too difficult. So that was a week ago, I've dreamed about T almost every night, I miss him so much...but those around me don't want me to go back-because of how "crazy and upset" I get about it. Im seeing a psychiatrist on Monday-who also does therapy-I want to see if I like him-but I was also thinking about seeing old T every once in a while, like once a month...what are opinions on asking my T for that?

I guess it would depend on whether you were seeing the psychiatrist for proper therapy sessions rather than consultations/med reviews/whatever they do! From what I've heard, seeing two Ts at once probably wouldn't be the best idea as I understand it. (I know it wouldn't work for me, but that's me!) Only you can decide if seeing your T is working for you, or if it is indeed making you 'crazy and upset', whatever the schedule... won't attending once a month just frustrate you, because it's not what you actually wanted? (A regular weekly slot?) I think maybe this would be like setting something up to fail, because you know it isn't going to meet your expectation...? I understand that stopping seeing T is likely difficult regardless of why, but you need to think about what you feel will be best for you. There are Ts out there who will be able to accomodate you by offering you a weekly appointment without too much scheduling stress, I'm sure.

Best of luck with whatever you choose to do,

(btw, love that Lykke Li song!)

Having a short transition period makes sense, because I know I don't do well with change and that might help me. Good luck!

I don't think there is anything at all wrong with changing your mind about a transition session or even about terminating.

But recognize that you might just be in a period of adjustment and there may be other options, such as the psychiatrist or a new therapist who can provide what you want and need. It's hard moving from a known to an unknown, and it can make the known more appealing because it's familiar. Keep your eye on what it is you want for you!

I've been thinking about this A LOT (read: agonizing) about how I terminated...and I don't think I want to leave T...no other T will be able to pray with me the way he does-or hug me...if I do psychodynamic with pdoc (who I don't even know if I will like yet) that will definitely not be happening-or any type of self-disclosure...which I like...I think I want to go back...I'm just scared he won't have me back-there must be a limit to how many times a T can handle this "I'm quitting...no I'm not...I hate you-I love you" crap...I know I'm sick of me...he must be too!!

fwiw, my T doesn't hug but she does self-disclose. In fact, when I began with her, I didn't want her to and it is something I've come to learn to like and to appreciate.

Okay-well I made a decision-I wrote T an email tonight-telling him that since I sent him the termination email I have not had peace within my soul at all...and that the real reason I quit has a little bit to do with not having a weekly spot that it is really about deeper issues-ones that we were working on-and that I don't want to stop working on...I also said that I realize that in life there are consequences to our actions-and that if he has already taken me off his list of clients-then I would have to be okay with that...but I also did say if that were the case-could we have a closure session...so we will see what he says on Monday (hopefully)...uggg this is the most complicated thing I've ever been through!!!!
Ohh-I'm also going to have pdoc-but if I continue with T then I wont be doing therapy with him-just assessment and meds I suppose...

That's an easy one.

If he takes you back, great.

And if not, then you are free to move on with a clear conscience.

My therapist took me back three times! And I bet she would again, if necessary.

^ No, it's not that easy...if he does not take me back I won't be able to move on with a clear conscience-I will be heartbroken...I'm beyond nervous waiting for his response. but either way...it's not easy

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow, delicatefade - I hope you get a good response!

Thank you eclogite!! I do too...I also see a new pdoc tomorrow-double the anxiety!!! hoping it just all goes well...