i'm obsessing

i am completely obsessing over everything i talked to my T about.it hurts i am having bad dreams about her and am thinking all the time about what i said the stuff i told you about.i feel angry, scared,resentful.i talked to her way to much i know i did but i told her i was feeling bad and if she wishes for me to shut up and just be quiet.she did say no. it all is horrible and i don't know how people deal with the feelings that all this brings up
i just feel tired and crummy and i cant sleep.i'm taking twice the amount of trazodone but i still cant sleep

I'm sorry, granite. I've been following your threads and want you to know that I'm reading and that I care. I think you've been very brave and you've taken some big steps with your T. You deserve to feel good about that.

I have been reading your threads are well and feel your pain. Protect yourself, take it easy. You are doing really well. We are all here for you. Hugs!!!

I know you feel horrible and I wish you weren't feeling so bad, but I believe that it's progress. You have to go through all the yucky feelings in order to get better. Talking to your T is going to help; it just takes time (a quote from my T). Can you do some artwork or distract yourself so you don't obsess so much? Make a collage about your feelings? Try to relax? I KNOW how hard that is; I'm the queen of obsessing about my sessions!

I'm sorry you can't sleep. Do you have those relaxation tapes you can listen to? Or just soothing music or something? Can you tell yourself it's GOOD that you told your T, and you did not tell her too much. It bothers YOU but she's there to help you, not judge you for what you told her. It's a very slow process. I wish it didn't hurt so much.

(((( granite ))))

It does hurt...and talking about the awfulness has the potential to allow some really terrible feelings come to the surface. It's a gradual process - but a painful one....one that needs to happen in order to get to the other side. You are doing great.

Please try to find things to do that usually make you happy....to distract yourself. I know not long ago, I had an intense session...and T told me, "I want you to not think it about it anymore today. Do something nourishing for your soul".....

It was very hard to do....and even when I wasn't thinking about it, the feelings - the anxiety - was still there. So tough to get through. But the other option is just burying it...and we've been doing that for way too long and it has caused so many problems within us.....doing something different is scary. But hopefully worth it.

(( HUGS ))

oh boy, I hope you are feeling at least a bit better. When this stuff surfaces, it's a real RIDE. For me, it tended to come in waves,and I was well served by trying to get a handle about what times during the day were the worst. I had a friend who told me...try to surf those waves. I'm afraid of the water!

I found that mid morning and early evening were kinda hellish, so I tried to build in little things. Breathing. Bubble baths. A favorite show. And guess what, sometimes that worked. But not always.

Mixed up emotions ...I so agree that the other option is burying it. Which didn't work, or we would not be in therapy, would we?

Hugs to you! MCL

thanks for listening again.you all are so awome.i feel i am doing a bit better today exsept i have to go to work today for the first time in a week.i dont know how that is going to go today.
i am also going to try to use my T journal this week.i wnt to write how things are going in my head in hopes of being able to share it with my T next monday.any ideas from those who have shared journal writing but have been completely terrified to do so.i have my T bag that i now bring every week and it has my therapy journal(with letters to her)so i am able to bring it with me and decide weather to share it or not depending without my T even knowing i have it.

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today. I like the idea of using your T journal and just letting all of it come out. Sometimes, I find that just by releasing it into writing, it causes some relief of the anxiety. Of course, sharing it with T just adds anxiety for me...and I imagine for you too. Perhaps take it one step at a time and see where just writing it out does for you.....((( HUGS )))

I can usually cope with the pain of therapy, but if it interferes with sleep or work, I take that as a sign that something needs to change. Don't know what, though.