It's Embarrassing

skysblue · Jan 05, 2012, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3rdTimesTheCharm

I have attempted to get my T to collude in labeling/shaming me that I am somehow bad, quite a few times.

It was an exercise in frustration.

Nothing to see here, move along.

Anne

Ah, yes, But I have evidence.

Jan 05, 2012, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skysblue

Ah, yes, But I have evidence.

Yeah, sure, fine, but your evidence s*cks.

Anne

Sannah · Jan 05, 2012, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skysblue

I'm trying to use analytical thinking to 'understand' and change emotions. Maybe I need to stop trying to figure it out (for awhile) and just leap in and let those emotions be felt in all their fullness. Maybe I need to put 'thinking' on the back burner and let myself feel all the rage, fear, shame, and guilt that resides inside. Maybe I shouldn't hold back.

Yes!

Quote:

Originally Posted by skysblue

But, I worry that I'm inflaming emotions by doing that instead of managing them. It makes no sense to add fuel to the fire.

You need to express them so that you can release them and then there isn't any "managing" them anymore. The only time a person should need to manage emotions is when they are waiting for the correct time to deal with their feelings, like being upset in a situation where you need to hold it together until you can escape.

Sannah · Jan 05, 2012, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by treehouse

what if I treated MY healing with that same gentleness? I don't get mad at my kids...what if I don't get mad at myself? And just THAT tiny shift...the thought that I could get myself a blanket and some tea instead of working harder and getting down on myself...was a step in the right direction. A step away from "I'm bad".

Yes! This makes the work so much easier!! Being nice to ourselves requires completing inner child work I think.

rainbow8 · Jan 05, 2012, 04:19 PM

My T used to constantly tell me "don't try to figure it out". You can't feel your feelings if you're always trying to figure them out. I always want to figure it out still, but I don't do that during my session like I used to. If I do my T will stop me and say "you're trying to figure it out"--just tell me what you feel. It's her job to figure them out! Well, both of our jobs together, but feeling the feelings comes first. I agree with Sannah about that.

Of course, CBT proponents say that you CAN use your intellect to change your feelings when you look at your distorted thinking.

CantExplain · Jan 05, 2012, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skysblue

But I either forget and/or cannot internalize them enough to make a difference in my life.

Aha!

What about writing them down?

purplemystery · Jan 05, 2012, 10:01 PM

On the contrary, I think your therapist would probably find you even more invested in therapy and devoted to improving your life because you care enough to ask her to repeat herself.

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It's Embarrassing

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