It's Official

I can hardly imagine what you are going through. I suspect its one of the most important relationships in your life. It must be devastating.

I know you guys have talked about it and stuff but i dont think anything would really prepare you for this.

Its a sad time kimmy

Audrey

yep, it is, audrey. thank you.

you're right. i don't think there's any preparation, cut down to get used to it, etc.

the only preparation is to know it will happen and when.

thank you for understanding.

kd

(((((((((((((((kd)))))))))))))

Thank you ((((((((((((((alexandra))))))))))))))))

I hope you're well. I think of you often.

KD

But you do have months to prepare... to finish up some details...to say the things you might have been afraid to (to T, about T)... and time to plan those things... you have no idea how much healing you will get in these months...

Plus... (((KD)))) if you are going to continue with another T, you have time to assimilate

((((((((((((sky)))))))))))))

i'm a tryin! i'm a tryin!

i'm getting a sense of that healing. thank you more than you know for hearing me.

kd

KD, every time my sister threatens to make me move to MN to live with her until I can go back to work full-time, I have a full-blown meltdown as soon as I think of having to give up my T. It was just this past week that I was able to go back to the clinic and have an actual, real live session, instead of a 15-minute phone check-in, although even those were a relief, just to hear his voice. I haven't responded to this thread so far because I relate WAY too much! Even with months to prepare, it's going to be a ****** for you, no two ways about it. I'm so sorry this loss is looming for you. Really good T's are hard to come by!

Try to hang in there. Maybe you can make the last few sessions an extended "goodbye." That's what we did when I left my T of 5 years for this one (whom I am much, much fonder of, and I loved my old T) -- just kind of gave ourselves time to talk frankly to each other about how we felt about ending the relationship, how we felt about each other, etc. It sounds like we were ending a romance, LOL, but after being with someone you've spilled your entire guts to for that long, it takes time to end it properly! I hope when the time comes, you'll let yourself say everything you want to say and get it all out. And who knows. I cried my heart out when I had to say goodbye to BJ, but the minute I met Gregory, I knew we were meant for each other, and he's taken me farther in 2+ years than BJ did in 5. Maybe you'll get just as lucky! Hope so.

Love, Candy

((((((((((candy)))))))))))) thank you for sharing that! it rings so true!

i would only want one session of "ending". I don't think my head, or heart, could take more.

We speak of it occasionally, and alot this past week, though. So, we're discussing, expressing, etc. It's already rough.

Thank you again, so much.

kd

My dearest Kimmy Dawn....I can almost feel the anxiety and pain that you felt when it was first announced to you that your T would be leaving. As you know me through PM's, I am extremely close w/ my T and I fear one day that I will get the same news. So, I honestly feel for you.
I know how much work you have put into your healing process.
It is my prayer/wish/desire for you that during the next few months you can transition from your current T to a new one who you will feel you can trust and work with.

thank you so much ((((((((((((sj)))))))))))))

i have no plans of seeing another t. i don't know what t's plans are on that, but he knows mine.

i might have someone to help me to transition, but not to continue in therapy.

thank you again!

kd

Aw (((((KD)))) why not??????

Sky,

I don't think I will need, or want, to continue this with someone else. I've come to a point where my life works pretty well. I'd love to finish this journey. However, I just don't think I can start this all over.

I do think that I might need someone to get me over the hump of his leaving so I don't lose t and therapy both, cold turkey.

much love,

kd

KD...please keep an open mind to continuing T w/ someone new. I know it may seem like you could only work these "issues" with your current T. Remember...it was YOU doing the work.
Just don't give up so quickly.
I am thinking about you.

Kimmydawn- When SKR and I knew it was time to end the therapy and be friends, even though the two of us knew no matter where we were and what we were doing we would always be friends, I fought changing therapist tooth and nail. I told her flat out I was tired of losing the good therapists every time I was with them for a year to two years. I was NEVER going to let another therapist get in like she and two other therapists of my total of 19 therapy professionals. I told her I was not a ball to be bounced around. I knew what we had been working on and I could do all that on my own. She agreed that I was capable of continuing my work on my own but asked me to remain open minded and choose another therapist even if it was just to touch base with that therapist to make sure I remained on track. At some point there might be something that I can't take care of on my own and reminded me that we were in the middle of plans for Shooting down a nightmare which I felt was too real to be just a run of the mill nightmare. At that point too I had a DHS caseworker that was causing alot problems for me and in turn came down on her to hurt me. That DHS caseworker would leap right on the oportunity of my not having a therapist as a way to keep me from seeing my son. I didn't have to work my whole therapy program with the new therapist if I didn't want to. She just wanted me to have that option of a therapist open for me so that I would not be stuck with something and no one to help because I am on waiting lists for an opening with therapy agencies. I remained open minded and was given LL for a therapist. The DHS caseworker was fired so she is not a part of the equasion anymore. I do 98% of my therapy work on my own But I am also glad that LL is on board.

Even though a majority of my sessions with her have been just touch base type of sessions I am very glad that I remained open minded and we did bring her on board. She has some really great ideas, points out potential problem areas if she sees me start going where I shouldn't be heading, and is very supportive and helpful with my own plans for what I am or want to do for therapy. It took some time and after a rocky start LL and I are a great match and team and is helping me with some plans that I made a promise to SKR that I would do with LL.

LL is not SKR and she never will be. Just like SKR was not and will never be JEH.

No therapist is ever going to take the place of another. But Its good to have that option already established "just in case".

Thank you, myself. What you explained would be the only thing I consider, if I consider that...someone to touch base with until I get through this transition.

Thank you for letting me know how it worked for you.

kd

Good luck KimmyDawn. I wish you the best.
Remember, you are the best doctor you know. You know when something is wrong and You know when you need help. You know what you are doing I expect and I hope you do well.

You're welcone.

KD, I am truley sorry... I hope it all works out... Peace and Blessings!
Lilith

(((((((((((lilith))))))))))))) thank you so much.

(((((((((((brian)))))))))))) thank you as well.

I will be ending t in late June/early July. Until then, I will keep the same pace to get as much done as I can with t.

We will be keeping in touch as we've become friends over the years. It will be kinda cool to have him as a friend, because he's an awesome person as well as a great t.

It's still going to be rough, but I'm just about ready.

kd

Kimmy, I am sorry for your loss and inside I wonder if it is another opportunity presenting it'self? Peace.

What a wrench. I'm so happy for you, though, that you've had a therapist you've felt so comfortable with, and who has been so helpful for you. Nevertheless, I can appreciate that it is not easy. May I ask (I don't want to pry, and please don't feel obliged to answer), do you feel that having as much notice as you've had, has helped you prepare for the separation?

I am with Wisewoman on this one but initially it will and no doubt is very hard to deal with

((((((((((((((( Kimmy )))))))))))))))))))

I'm here for you.

Hugs,

Jan