[rainbow8]

I knew she would most likely answer them and she did, even the ones about her family. We talked a little about why I wanted to know, but not much. She and I were both glad that I didn't research her family like I did once, and that I asked her directly instead.

It was a good session except for having to leave when it was over. I told her I'm getting more afraid of something happening to her or her family, not less. We didn't have time to talk about that; I just wanted her to hear it while I was walking out.

This time EMDR went well because I did not try to control the process. She explained why it's okay to go off on tangents though I don't completely understand. The brain gets information from different places and new neural paths are getting made. So whatever I say is relevant even if it's unrelated to the target we're working with. She said something that anyone doing EMDR might be interested in hearing. She asked me at the end if I felt differently when I focused on the target, if it bothered me less. I wasn't sure but I said "yeah, I'm thinking about all the other things I said, not what we were focusing on; it seems like it doesn't matter any more!" and she said "that's the idea!" I said that seems like a trick and she said "no, it isn't." I still don't get it, but I hope it works!!!

Something else was interesting to me. I told her I don't like to be exposed and have her see me blushing or whatever, and she said I notice but she doesn't, that last week when I felt like I had a fever, she didn't think my face was so red at all. Weird.

She also had me, during the EMDR before we finished, think about going to the bathroom before I leave (she knows I do that) and having it be all right if someone was next to me. Talk about TMI. I really, really like my T.

[Perna]

That's wonderful; though I smiled when you said, "It was a good session except for having to leave when it was over." Of course the except is in there when it's good!

[unaluna]

I'm glad your EMDR went well - I think I get what you said she said! My immediate family cannot poop away from their own "home base" either - this was our dinner table topic some years ago, who could and who couldn't! I am the only brave one, but I was also the only one who worked an hour's drive from home - might have something to do with it! Eventually something will get to you - the cafeteria food, that extra cup of coffee - and you'll no longer be a terlet virgin!

[rainbow8]

Trigger for mentioning a form of abuse, I think.

BonnieJean, thanks for the "thanks", and ECHOES for the hug and "thanks".

Perna: thank you.

Hankster: Thank you. I'd better clarify, sorry if TMI for others. I don't have problems using a public bathroom-- only if someone I know is in the adjacent stall. EMDR wasn't about that, though it was about showers, about my feelings when I found out about 8 years after the fact that my brother had been watching me through a hole in the tile when I was a teenager.

[rainbow8]

I just emailed my T thanking her for answering my questions. I felt like writing MY list of favorites movies, songs, and books, so I did! At least some of them! That felt distracting, fun, and therapeutic! She didn't ask me for it, but I know she'll read it. I need to have this middle ground with my T so it's not ALL ABOUT THE TRANSFERENCE and child feelings. I feel that it helps me, not hurts me.

[confuseduk]

I'm so glad T answered your questions and you found out from her directly, that sounds important for you both, sounds like a really good session I'm so sorry about what happened to you as a teenager, that's awful, it's no wonder you don't want anyone in the cubicle adjacent to you I'm sure T will be interested in your e-mail and I'm glad it helps and makes you feel better

[Chopin99]

I'm so glad your T answered your questions about her. It appears as if she really respects you and that's pretty dang cool! I think it's great that you shared back also. Makes things a bit more equal. Your T sounds great!

[jazzy123456]

Great. takes courage to ask T questions about HER life and HER family, I can barely do it...

I don't think I ever did it with my old T.

And well, my new one, her parents own the place where she works
and there liscenced therapists

haha,

sometimes I want to walk up to them while I'm waiting for session
and be like- "hey I'm about to go talk to your daughter!" lol. but, act
really quirky just for laughs, saying, "how was your day? she's pretty cool but, i mean you know that already don't you?.. seeee you later... "

[Snuffleupagus]

Congrats on a great session, Rainbow! It sounds like you looked some awkward stuff square on. If you can confront that together, what can't you share with her?

[sittingatwatersedge]

Good job!

[WePow]

This is just so awesome! I am glad your T is so gracious!! Good work on asking for what you needed and being open about things.

[granite1]

thats awsome that she didn't give you a hard time answering your questions.she just seems so secure in who she is. glad you had a good session.

[rainbow8]

Thanks, everyone, for all the hugs!
confuseduk: thank you. It's strange but I didn't associate what my brother did with the bathroom issue! I think my T did, though. I had shame issues while growing up; they didn't start when I was 21 and read what my brother had done. But it certainly didn't help! It's all about feeling exposed and vulnerable.

chopin: thanks! I my T!

jazzy: thanks. That would be weird to see my T's parents in the building all the time! At least you know what they look like and who they are!

snuffleupagus: I love your name, reminds me of when my kids were little and we watched Sesame Street together. At this point, there's almost nothing about me I can't share with my T; you're correct.

granite: Thanks. Yes, my T is secure in who she is. Maybe because she does a lot of yoga!!

SAWE: Thanks!

WePow: thank you. I'm glad you approve even though my T does not have rosy cheeks and is much younger than you guessed!