Calling T

I'm sorry your T didn't call you back yet but you absolutely did the right thing by calling her! You've been upset with the way your last session was and feel disconnected from her. It's hard to sit with those feelings after a session. I know because I've been there, and so have many others. Maybe your T will surprise you and still call back before Monday.

Thanks Rainbow. That helps.

I was sneaky just now. I have an appointment scheduled way out at the end of this month that will not work. So I called to reschedule for that week and then casually asked if T was there today. The answer? NO.

But you know what? I feel So.Much.Better!!! T wasn't there today! That's why she hasn't called! So yes, I get to sit with this all weekend, but at least now I don't think she isn't calling because she secretly hates me or I annoy her. I can worry about that on Monday.

that was sneaky but cool .i'm sorry she was gone today and i hope you know we will be here through the weekend if you feel the need to vent.we have waited through many of weekends waiting for T to return calls

Your T says this?! That surprises me.

This reminds me of something I have worked out recently.

I used to be a master of the email bombshell. But I am learning that email is not a good way to deal with difficult, emotional and complex topics. This applies to work just as much as to therapy.

If you want to discuss something important (eg you want a raise or a co-worker is not cooperating), ask for an appointment and deal with it face to face.

Instead of writing to my boss, "My co-worker is not keeping up with his paperwork and I've asked him a dozen times and he's ignoring me and I'm upset and he's unprofessional", I simply wrote, "Can I see you privately before the main meeting?"

It was scary to do that, but not as scary as launching my missile and waiting for the consequences!

One man's experience.

My T says this also.

I like email with T. Otherwise, I don't email very much.

I'm uncomfortable with the phone because one simply cannot read facial expressions and body language (skype being the exception). At work, I tend to just go to the person I want to talk to.

It's Monday morning, 8:03, and T called. She must have called as soon as she listened to my message.

She said she was gone Friday and didn't know what time I called and left the message. I told her I figured that out by being sneaky and calling the office to reschedule an appointment. She asked what appointment it was and was concerned (?) that I had only rescheduled and not cancelled. She said, "I'm glad you got it scheduled and can see me every week."

She said it was"absolutely okay" for me to call and I was having a bad day. I said I am feeling very sad and I don't know where that is coming from. She said something about endorphins and brain chemistry and how everything around us is okay but we are feeling bad.

She checked to see that I am scheduled for Thursday. And that was it.

Why am I feeling worse now? I should be reassured, right? I feel vulnerable and I don't like it.

maybe you expected more from the call and T responce then you got

Thanks Granite.

Yes, I think maybe that's it. I don't know exactly what I expected. I would have liked her to say, "Why don't you come in this morning. Can you be here in an hour?" ha ha

I think maybe I'm beginning to understand, though. I think we (all of us in therapy) have this buildup inside of us that we need to get rid of. All of this negative stuff (energy?). And we need to let it out in healthy ways. So maybe my calling T was a good thing because I was letting some of that yuck out. And in doing this, I was allowing T in just a bit more. Maybe that's why she encourages me to call? Just a thought.

I think this is really insightful of you. This is all part of the process and your therapeutic journey. You reached out and had to sit with that all weekend...and yes, sounds like your t gave you a very caring and considerate response. Reaching out and being vulnerable takes courage and energy .