Calling T

Okay, I know this has been discussed here a lot. I'm sorry to bring it up again!

I am just having a hard time. This week has been hard. Lots of self-loathing and so so sad. I feel disconnected from T. She seems far away and I am doubting her care of me. It feels like I bother her and am a waste of her time. And I know, these are only feelings, and T often says "feelings lie."

I KNOW this but cant shake the icky stuff. I want to call just to know she is there and connect. Next Thursday is a lifetime away from now.

Will I be bothering her if I call? I know no one here can really answer this. I'm sad.

Call her. She can help you with this.

Ugh...I'm scared.

please don't hate yourself you are a good person.sometimes it is important to hear that from the people we trust and care about so i would call and let her know how you are feeling down and not trusting her careing and i bet she would be able to give you the reassurance you need right now.i wish i knew what to say to make you feel better but i'm kind of in the same spot.i hope you will be able to call and talk to you T

I would call and tell her exactly what you wrote here. I guess if you don't call, how do you think it will affect you this weekend ? Is it possible to call and see if you can get a monday session intead of next thurs?

Thanks you guys. Granite, your recent posts really resonate with me. Does that make sense? We have our different issues we are working on, but so much of the fear about T and trusting and talking..

First, let me ask...has T said it's okay to call?

If so, she can help you and she would probably want to know.

Okay, posting here that I am calling so now I have to do it. Why is this so hard?? I am really scared. What if she secretly hates me? I'm sorry to be such a whiner.

If she secretly hates you than you deserve a better T! But I doubt that is the case

Hi Chopin, yes, T has said several times that I can call. She seems to encourage it. She has never mentioned email.

Then call! I am uncomfortable with the phone, so I don't like calling. I'm glad for email.

But I can promise you your T does not secretly hate you!! If she's offered, take her up on it!

Oh God, I called and left a voice mail and it was a mess. I hate this, she is going to hate me. I never should have called..

She's not going to hate you or judge you. She is a professional trained to deal with all kinds of people with all kinds of "behaviors". You did the right thing, I promise.

I'm glad you phoned your t!

I am glad you called. She is not going to hate you. Her job is to help you & I am sure she would not want you to be upset about this.

No response. I'm trying to keep busy. Laundry, vacuuming, hanging out on PC

I'm feeling very, very sad and I don't know where that is coming from. In my head, it's screaming at me what a loser I am and I have ruined everything. Okay, stopping now. You guys will figure out how nuts I am.

I am glad that you called, and I am sure she will get back to you soon.

Thanks.

I'm glad you called as well, it was the right thing to do. She will get back to you soon.

I can really relate to you. I do contact my t as needed though, but every time, I have to force myself to actually do it. And waiting for a response feels like an eternity.

You are not a loser, you have not ruined everything, and as far as being nuts goes, I've got you beat, so it's all good. LOL

Anyway, I hope things start to get better for you!

This is why I love this board so much.

Still no response. She might have taken the day off. I remember her talking about being gone on a Friday, but I thought that was last week.

Still struggling with all these doubts. Part of me is relieved, because now I know where I stand with her and at least I know and can move on.

And Nicole... you are not crazy. You do have a great sense of humor!

I've been here (but with email not phone!) I'm sure you'll hear from her at some point, and if you don't I'm sure there'll be a good reason, and it won't be because you bothered her. It'll be okay

It's going to be okay. I have these exact same doubts and thoughts when I contact my T but it's just our fears, not reality. That's way easier said than believed, though. But your T does not hate you or think you are bothering her. How do you mean you know where you stand with her and can move on? I hope you aren't saying you need to move on completely because I would safely say that's 99.9999% not true I really hope you hear from her soon.

You situation makes me feel a bit better about having to contact Ts receptionist if I want T to call me back. That is usually one reason I hesistate to call T, b/c I have to go through her first.. I don't want her to know how needy I am, lol. At least, she can tell me if he is and in what office he is in.. or if he is off, etc. None the less.. it is very good that you called, and I am still holding out hope that your T calls you back.

Well, looks like I get to sit with this through the weekend. Monday will be a fun morning of anticipating/dreading the phone call. Oh fun! I'm mad at myself for what I said on my message to her. I think I told her pretty much everything I wrote here in my first post.