What's the scariest question your T ever asked you?

I can't remember the exact wording, but my T asked me something in relation to how I'd ended up having to take emergency contraception after my first sexual encounter in a few years. It was a genuine mishap...but I was really embarassed by T's obvious curiousity about this (for all the right reasons of course - she was concerned I was pregnant even though I assured her I probably was not!). I didn't feel able to tell her so we just moved on from the topic.

There have been so many scary topics I would take up this entire page if I listed them all so let's just say it's been a L O N G six years of therapy!!

Possible sui trigger


The scariest question for me, which several Ts have asked at various moments, "Do you have a plan?" Honestly, this is so hard to answer... Even when I don't, I kind of do and even when I do, I kind of don't. Does that make sense ?

Yes I forgot about that one that makes sense.

She asked me "what can I do to make you less afraid of me?"

Terrifying on so many levels

"What's the worst thing you've ever done?"

Are you willing to write down all those secrets you keep hidden, then show it to me?

Just about ALL her questions scare me

While talking about csa she asked "what if it really isn't your fault?"

This new therapist seems to have no problem asking me point blank questions about the specifics of SA. I've not had a therapist be so straightforward with it before. Usually, they've tread a lot more lightly with me. She just seems to push forward with it and say the words. I end up shutting my eyes and putting my hands over my ears. Jeesh.

I think if she says the words "masterb*ation or o*gas*s" to me I'm going to have to leave the room. Wish I could handle it. Does anyone else have that much difficulty handling hearing those words out loud? Oh my gosh, I can't take it for anything.

Maybe it is exposure therapy, didn't think of that. I'm horrified about that stuff.

Huh. IMO, exposure (or any other kind of therapy) is only entered into when you consent to it - they're not supposed to spring it on you. And unless for some reason that kind of verbal "exposure" is in line with your therapy goals, I'd think that you are within your rights to tell T to clean it up, you don't have to put up with that.

It may be that you & T have widely different viewpoints in this area, if so it might be good to get it out into the open. but remember, it is YOUR hour; you CAN say how you want it to be.

If I would like a drink of water

so your therapist feels empowered to speak for all the men in the world?

"Skysblue, we need to talk about your excessive phone calls to me and how you're breaking every boundary that needs to be erected between T and client. You have no idea how much your constant calling is intrusive and I need to make it clear what is acceptable and what is not acceptable in regards to out of session contact with me."

I understand that this was not the point of OP since T did not ask a question AND she did not really say what I've attributed to her. That was the 'translation' I heard and it just about kicked me in the gut.

She is actually very kind and empathic and compassionate but my dysfunctional 'hearing' had me react to something that really was not said. So, again, although not a question it WAS the scariest thing T has ever said to me (even though she really didn't say it)

Just the entire suicidal feelings conversation. Ugh. I feel sick even thinking about it.

I hope I'm out of line here....and I have none of the context but does it strike you as irresponsible for your therapist to ask you that?

Ouch! I've had something very like that and it sucks. It would have been scary if I had been expecting it.

I agree. It is a difficult question to answer honestly knowing what the results could be, yet at the same time wanting him/her to hear how bad it is.

My T always asks me what my goals are. Even though that seems like a very normal question for a T to ask her client, I must say it produces a full blown anxiety attack in me when she asks it.

****, I take it back. Today my T sprung one on me out of NOWHERE:

"So about your CSA: you said in our first session that you don't really remember?"

bliweoinh; perwpomj I FEEL SO GROSSSSSSS

Asking when the last time I'd seen my abuser was, about an hour after my abuser told me never to talk to T about him again...

I am terrified of those words ever coming up in a session...or any discussion of s*x for that matter. I just know my face will turn beet red at the very mention of it.

I was just thinking the other day "If we start talking about my past relationships in depth, is she going to ask me about s*x?" It makes me not want to ever bring those relationships up ever! I've never really shared that kind of stuff with others.

She certainly wasn't offering herself to me, if that's what you're suggesting. I never thought that for a moment.

I took it to mean, "What do you imagine it would be like if we were lovers."

Perhaps she is used to a lot of erotic transference from her male patients and was puzzled because she wasn't getting that from me?

Conversely, maybe she was concerned at my unswerving parental attachment and wanted me to consider the other possibilities. This could be the answer, in fact.

RECONSTRUCTION:

"You see me as your mother but you haven't explored the other kinds of relationship we might have. What if we were lovers?"