What's the scariest question your T ever asked you?

My T asked me "What if we were lovers?"

Yes, lets open all these cans of worms at once:
1. Love
2. Sex
3. Transference
4. Adultery
5. Incest
6. Marriage
7. Loyalty
8. Ethics
9. Professionalism
10. Prostitution

Just as well I was never SA!

My T asked me to "go with" my fantasy of being with her in her house. I couldn't do it!

It was also scary when she hinted that I don't have to stay in my marriage. It wasn't a question but it was very scary to me.

The first time she asked if that child part wanted her to hold her hand. I think that was scarier than the first two!

Wow, that's quite a question

During an awkward attempt of mine to discuss sexuality (and after quite some beating around the bush), my T asked "Are you talking about masturbation?" I wasn't, but I was shocked she'd be so blunt about it (we'd never talked about sex before at that point).

An even more awkward convo followed, during which she(!) talked about dildos and vibrators.

If my brother had raped me ...

She said something about what if I cried with her. I had a panic attack from the thought.

T's question: "Wait, you told him you want him to move out, but you're still having sex with him? Why don't you just masturbate? Don't you own a vibrator?"

Okay, to be honest, those were not the most scary: just the most surprising or disconcerting. The scary ones involved whether I was willing to discuss anger, or the specifics of the sexual abuse. Still get the heart pounding and nausea about him asking about specifics of the second of those. Those are scary, scary.

your T asked you that question, MKAC?

my T asked me if i had any sexual fantasies once....UHHHH. This was early on in therapy, too! I just went, "Nope" and moved on. That is as much sexual talk as we've ever done.

I can't imagine being asked that, what did you reply?

Trying to remember the scariest

The sex questions were embarrassing, not scary. My T asked if I have orgasms with my H, and other questions about sex. She has no problem talking about that subject and I'm getting used to it. Exposure therapy, you know!

yeah, he really did, Velcro. I was like ummmmmmm, yes and NO and can we talk about something else??? Later I kept kicking myself that I didn't say, "YOU FIRST! Do you?" LOL. Still not that bold. He told me the next time that his point was that I was sending my husband mixed signals and men think that if they are getting sex all is well in their world. I responded, "Or maybe that's just you?" He laughed but said, "No. It's a guy thing."

As I recall, I said something, like: "I couldn't begin to imagine that!"

We did eventually come back to it. I said:
1. I'm loyal to my wife.
2. I think of you as my mother.
3. You're not my type.

She said none of that should get in the way of a good fantasy.

We talked through a number of scenarios, but my heart wasn't in it.

Honestly, what was the point? What was your T trying to discover?

The scariest thing T asked me was "Would you prefer I leave the room and go to the bathroom so you can talk to my empty chair?" Apparently she forgot the empty chair triggers me worse than anything else in this world!!

Wow! I have nothing.

I don't think that my therapist has ever asked me anything scary. . . personally, I think that when I get triggered or respond in a way that indicates that I was startled or scared, it's because something inside of me was triggered with what we were talking about . . . and I know that the thing we were talking about would have NOT triggered or scared a person who wasn't dealing with issues that demanded hypervigliance. We look to our therapist's as the culprits, the one's who trigger fear, but in realitiy it is most likely our past.

Good point, Jaybird.

Oh gosh my T is always asking us scary questions...it'd be a never ending list.

At about our 4th session, T asked me, "what is it you want from me? is it love?"

The scariest question my therapist asked me "would you consider going to group therapy?" I have a complete panic attack.

Masturbation was a tough topic--I reflexively said something that made him feel awful. He said that my response made him feel like a dirty old man asking what color my undies were. I later told him that I was sorry, that I knew my reaction would make him back off. He has never acted creepy, but I used that fear to get off the topic in a hurry.

When he asked for clarification around childhood neglect/abuse situations, that sent my heart pounding and I thought I would pass out.

Well, the very fact that it opens so many cans of worms makes it a good open-ended question.

I was asked by my T why I stopped coming therapy for the past 6 years...and I told her because she brought details out of my molestation and then I asked if we could change the subject and she looked at me like I was kidding. It put me in a panic attack.

When we talked about the abuse for the first time. He flat out asked how many times it happened and I panicked and lied. It weighed heavy on my conscious and the next week I gave him a real estimate.

Your question is easy to answer - his was not

"what do you want?"

"Did you?" I had been deliberately avoiding a specific incident for 20 years and then had to beat around the bush using it as an example only my T misunderstood what I was saying and I had to decide whether to tell her specifically or let her continue to misunderstand and just gloss over that example and use another. I decided I had to tell her rather than "lie"/omit and after I did, that was the worst 15 seconds of my life, worrying about how she would respond. She got it "right" though and recognized we did not have to talk about it, it wasn't an issue in our joint therapy work.