things fall apart

((((((((((((((((((((((nightsky))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I hope you are able to talk this out with your T. I know you two have gone through a lot together. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please take care of yourself. You are important.

nightsky, let us know how you are doing when you can. You are important! You are important to me and lots of others here on PC. I've been praying..

((((((((PC)))))))))

Wow, I SO appreciate the caring and support here. So much.

I saw T for 2 hours on Friday, and I am taking a break. I asked him to please just be honest, and told him I would be honest, and we worked hard.

He did tell me some things about why this is hard for him, how he's been trying to process all of it by talking to other T's, how confidentiality makes it impossible to say certain things. He talked about his own issues and fears and how they are coming into all of this mess that we're in. It helped that he was so honest.

I am taking a break. Right now, I'm planning on going back during the first week of April and we'll see where we're at and go from there...I'll decide whether to continue the break, to go back, to leave, whatever.

I realized in the shower this morning that I really feel okay about the break. Therapy has been SO hard since the beginning of the year, and it's been one horrible punch in the gut after another. It's a relief to be able to take a step back.

So, I guess the goal is to not shut down completely. I've been writing a lot and that helps. I guess this is just part of my journey.

T wrote me a note to hang onto, and I took a little thing from his desk that I'll have to return...I wanted something that would "make" me come back, and I'm glad I took it.

I guess that's the update.

I really love and appreciate you guys.

I'm so glad you posted. I have been thinking of you.

I'm glad he's talking to other T's. I warned my T during one of my first visits (in 2003!) that he was gonna need supervision! He just could not know what he was getting himself into, poor guy You sound much better, like stuff is off your shoulders that didn't need to be there.

(((((((((((nightsky))))))))))))) wow. I know you have been through sooooo much this year! thinking of you and sending tons of hugs!

Thinking of you nightsky. hugs.

I am glad you are taking care of yourself and taking a break with specific plans to revisist the situation.

just wanted to let you know you're not forgotten.

Hi Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing? I hope you are getting some clarity during your break.

Thinking of you, nightsky