What do your relationships look like?

I suppose if I'm honest, I'm asking this out of a mix of

• bewilderment
• interest
• jealousy
• longing
• fear
• and ... I'm sure more

Often I see people mention their husbands (or wives); their partners; their children; their friends etc.

They are relationships that for the most part are completely unknown at a personal level for me.

Here we are, all or most of us, either in therapy or having been in therapy

and yet ... am I the only one missing these relationships; or is such a total disaster at relationships

I long for connection ... I run from connection

The therapy relationship is one thing (and a confusing one at that, and one I wonder if it's hurting more than helping?) but I want more.

maybe?????????????????????????

I have a warm, stable, supportive, trusting relationship with my wife.
I have trouble connecting with my 15-year-old daughter, though!
I have a great boss who is like a father to me.

I have a partner.
I am still very close to two ex-lovers.
I have been with the same core group of friends for over 26 years.
Oddly enough I seem to have connections with people. Kind of puzzling to me in some ways.
I don't have a clue where the therapist fits in. I probably do not think she does.

I have a great relationship with my husband... but wasn't always the case. I use to have trouble opening up to him and it would make him feel really sad and useless and stressed and everything... therapy really helped on this, I mean REALLY REALLY helped!

I had no relationship with my t for the first 12 months I guess... I wanted to be independant so I would resist every attempt to get closer. I slowly let him in and I can say I'm attached now and glad I let him get closer because it helped in so many ways

As for friends... hummm... I have close friends I guess but still working to let them in too! The same issue I had with t; don't want to get sad because I get too close or something... but there's hope

I feel great now but haven't always feel this way, trust me. I went through time I was sure I would do better on my own, then when I realised I wasn't, I felt like I could never have real relationship... it's not perfect yet but getting there... slowly!

I make friends then move. I have sort of kept in touch but not enough. I inadvertently treat friends like siblings--rivals. No boyfriend or husband no surprises there.

Still see family once in awhile but we are all over the country. Wish I could rebuild my life in an easier fashion every time I have to move. My friendships are not the bff type, though it would be nice.

Why do you keep moving, I wonder?

For work, at least I tell myself that. If I had stayed put I might have found work but I couldn't stand being unemployed for so long. But I'm sure issues of getting too attached must be part of it, because it is way too obvious! Yet I keep doing it.

I have a good relationship with my husband and a wonderful relationship with my 3 children. some people dream of that perfect career, I never did, I dreamt of a warm stable loving home, and yes it is that, if I died tomorrow I would not be thinking about what I haven't achieved, I'll be thinking of what I did a achieve.

Tigergirl I so hear you.

I never struggled to make friends when I was younger. I fitted in everywhere and with everybody, was never bullied. I don't like myself so I can't imagine anyone else wanting to know me but... I genuinely care about other people. I don't have many qualities that I like about myself but I am warm and kind and honest and reliable...and I don't have a single friend. So nope...it's not just you!

I have some good friends, though I struggle in a lot of social situations especially when my depression is high. Other than 3 long time friends (1 from middle school, one from high school, and 1 from college), all of my good friends I've met through church. I have acquaintances I can chat with in class or at work, but my real friends are from church. Even though I'm still in the process of figuring out my faith and how church/religion fits into that, I know for sure that many of the people I find there are kind, caring, and genuine. And those are the people I want to surround myself with.

Beyond several good friends, I am a single female in my mid-twenties who is terrified of being alone forever. Not the best relationship with my mom, to say the least, though I'm starting to open up to my dad. I have a couple older guy cousins who are like brothers to me, though they're engaged/married so I feel kinda left in the dust.

More than anything, I want my own family. A good husband who loves me and kids. And I'm so scared I'll never have that. I'd rather die than grow old alone. Seriously.

I haven't had any friends for about 7 or 8 years. It's not my cup of tea. I prefer my own company.

I have a good relationship with my husband, we have been married for almost 9 years.. Actually, going through with my anxiety and depression the worst they have ever been have really strengthen my connection and communication with my husband.

I have two small children.. I think those relationships are good.

I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones that I do I consider like family so all of those relationships are great.

My own family however... not good. I have a twin brother, and an older brother. We really don't have any connection. We see each other every couple of months (we only live like 5 mins away from each other).. I have my mom, we see each other about once a week..We don't say I love you, hug, etc.. I don't ask her for advice. But, we do get a long and that is good. I have seen or spoken to my father in more than 2 years now. That relationship is crap.

So, I have a mixture of good and bad relationships

I have a stable relationship with H, been married for 27 yrs. He puts up with my crap for the most part. I have a good relationship with all 3 of my adult kids. I wouldn't go to any of those people for support though.

I can't keep a friendship, I am not very lovable. Haven't been able to hold down a job either.

I crave a friendship or supporting relationship outside of T.

I've always struggled with relationships. I had a very isolated background both at home and school and was bullied all through secondary school. I had very few friends. Things got a bit better when I went to uni but then I married a verbally and emotionally abusive bloke and had my son, who is learning disabled. I pretty much lived inside my head until I reached adulthood when I became obsessed with anyone female and motherly who so much as smiled at me. These days I have two good friends, one of each sex, and feel reasonably comfortable with them on a one to one basis. I'm not good in groups as I suffer from social anxiety. I am in a long distance relationship with a new boyfriend now too for the first time since my marriage ended in 2006. I'm still very isolated, not helped by circumstance, but due to my experiences in therapy and my spiritual faith, as well as the friends I do have, my relationships are better than they were. I have a better sense of self now and don't feel completely worthless.

Tigergirl - Relationships are the main reason I am in t right now. I am very introverted and when I'm depressed don't really want to be around people. I like being alone. I've always been that way - yet I long to have close relationships.

I know a lot of people because of my job. But they are acquaintances and not friends. I have a few female friends, but most live a few hours away.

I was emotionally hurt by my last dating relationship a few years ago and since then its been very difficult for me to trust, especially men. Even in that relationship I was emotionally cautious.

I would say T is the only one who's ever been given access to the emotions I keep very well guarded. And some days I don't even want t to see those.

I am married, childless by choice. I get along with everyone at work, but I don't like people much and don't hang out with anyone in my free time.

I live alone
I see my family about once a year by obligation
Have acquaintances, but no close friends
So I guess my point is, you are not alone!

I am married with 3 sons.

My husband and I dearly love each other, but our relationship is stressed by our health and other matters. Our communication is something T has been working with us both on and it is improving, but we have a ways to go.

My relationship with my boys is excellent. They are great fun and pretty decent young men.

Outside of my family, I have really isolated myself over the last few years because of my mental health issues. This is probably my biggest issue right now.

I'm single.
I have some friends but the relationships are mostly superficial, we just party together.
The odd person know's a bit more about me but not really anything that personal.
I have a tighter relationship with my sister since she lives with me.
My relationship with my parents is a love/hate relationship and the primary reason I'm in T.
I don't consider my interactions with T a relationship of any sort.

Single, never had a romantic relationship.
Family, complicated. victim of abuse from only sibling, growing apart from parents which used to be "best friends" type of relationship.
Friends, 1 that is soulmate, 5-10 others that I feel comfortable sharing things with.

Wish I had more supportive relationships at times, other times wish I was alone and could live by myself where no one would talk to me.

I've been married for nearly 11 years and we mostly communicate well despite there having been many stressors over the years we've been together.

I have 3 great kids, though we're still at that hard work stage because they're quite young - 12, 9 and 6. They bicker quite regularly but do love each other. I do feel I'm fairly in tune with them and hopefully doing a good enough job of being mum.

I have some wonderful friends, here and IRL but not many IRL know much of what I'm going through. I do believe they would absolutely be there for me but I'm not very good at letting that brick wall down.

My immediate family, I am ashamed to say, I am avoiding right now. Lots of stuff to work through there.

I'm single and have no children. I wouldn't mind having a significant other, but I like being single too. I do not plan to have children, ever.

I have a couple of very close friends, and a large circle of acquaintances. I am very comfortable with my close friends...people often think we're sisters. However, lately, I've found myself wanting to pull away; I think I've become too close and need distance now.

My relationship with my parents is complicated. I love them, and spend time with them, but they don't really know me and that hurts. I want them to know me better, but I'm terrified of being rejected for being who I am rather than who they want me to be.

Extended family...I keep in contact, but I'm not particularly close to anyone. Old friends...again, I keep in contact, but I'm not close to them.

The people I have strong relationships with are a very small group - really, just a couple of friends. And T.

Sometimes, I wish I had more people in my life that I felt I could really trust and be comfortable with. But, I have stronger relationships now than I think I ever have, so maybe that day will come. Maybe not, I am incredibly private and feel uncomfortable having lots of people that know me well.

I'm single not really by choice-he left me to go run the streets or whatever drugs do to you

I have a relationship with my 2 young daughters - I think that relationship is pretty good so far

The relationship with their father is ok. We co parent as best we can. We usually keep it brief (trust me it's MUcH better that way!)

Friends---uhhh don't really have close ones. Aquantinces I guess...friends that I've let get close to me in past I've been burned by.

Family...just my dad who is not supportive and very stubborn and my aunt a few hours away who is great when shes ok, but when she's depressed she withdraws for months at a time and doesn't speak to anyone.

The closest person to me right now is my T. I'd like to think we have a relationship...idk though....

Single after living with LTR for ten years. Sigh!

Super close to sisters..what a blessing.
Close to aging mother and had a rough go of it with father in the past, now deceased. Alienated from brother due to his mental illness. No extended family in country. Great friends who are the joys of my life. Whew!

Too bad that in our "culture," the word relationship has come to mean a romantic relationship with the opposite sex," which is great but no reason to value only those relationships. Let's not forget our 4-legged as well as 2-legged friends. Check out pic of my best pal---- attached...they also bring us much joy

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