Tell me I'm not an idiot. Please.

Hey if it works, it works...

I wonder why we have such shame and embarrassment when we have needs. I'm in the same boat. Since T opened up the option of texting her, I usually send off 5-10 texts per week. It feels very shameful to me and I continue to apologize and she continues to tell me it's o.k.

And you? First one since February? I would love to decrease my level of need to your level.

For me there are a lot of emotions around these needs. I want to always be strong, to always be in control, to always be the sturdy one. But, I guess, in therapy we learn that it's o.k. to have needs and the safest place to practice 'needing' is with our therapists.

Then possibly we can more easily go out into the real world and be able to state our needs to others without shame. I'm beginning to see that kind of transformation in my own life and I believe having the opportunity to express them to T first and being validated has given me the strength and self-confidence to acknowledge that I do indeed deserve to have some of my needs met. And that needs are not shameful.

Ooh! Chips! I'll definitely have some of those, especially if they're salt and vinegar.

If only managing to exercise a couple of times a week is being a big baby about it, I'm not sure what that makes me.

It is curious that so many of us have shame and/or embarrassment about needing help. Someone in another thread today related it to whether or being a needy baby was okay when you were an actual baby. That made a lot of sense to me, but it's scary at the same time.

I've called T a couple of times between sessions (I don't have his email and we've never talked about texting) and both times, it took me hours to work up just to calling. Both times, I felt scared that he'd reject my need. Both times, I felt needy and pathetic for calling him. Mind you, one of those calls was the day my mother died, so it's not like there wasn't a truly legitimate reason for calling.

I've told him how scared I was to call, but I haven't yet told him about feeling shame about it. Since it seems to be a common theme, I think I probably ought to.

You can get baked potato chips, which have less fat than the usual kind. They taste different, but I like that taste too. Unfortunately, I still eat too many of them.

definitely NOT an idiot glad your T wrote back; and I hope he could help with the initial problem and in time help you work with the feelings that came up when reaching out to him

Pbutton, it has been said a bunch, but rather than being stupid, it actually is a good idea to ask for help when needed cuz you won't get it otherwise.

As to distracting yourself, I think it's totally routine to switch focus between content and process in therapy. Of course, it can get pretty meta when you start looking at the process of looking at the process of looking at the content. (Isn't recursion fun?) It's all valuable content as this thread, hell, this whole psychotherapy forum demonstrates.

I'm happy you put yourself out there, and it sounds like your T wants to reinforce your behavior by being so responsive. He's probably all happy you wrote. You know how Ts get about that kind of thing.

I think a lot of us have shame related to needing help because people in our lives berated/denied us in some shape or form for needing help. This could have been in infancy or two days ago.

As so many others have said, pbutton, you are NOT an idiot. I'm glad your T is quick on the draw with email!

I think I actually like those even more. I could eat nothing but chips.

Could you list those rationalizations please. I think it would help the rest of us

Maybe start a new thread: How Many Times Have You eMailed Therapist since Feb.?

I was thinking exactly what snuff wrote, your t was probably thrilled you emailed him. Pbuttons t's thoghts: PBUTTON emailed!?! Wow, she's making progress and reaching out!! Oh oh, can't wait to reply to her- hurry! hurry! hurry!

and MKAC I'm in exactly the boat you're in with food and exercise the past two weeks, except my chips included cookies, cake and a few other binge foods as well.

LOL! I hadn't thought about it that way. He was definitely hurrying - there were several typos.

Because someone shamed and embarrassed us when we wanted our needs met while growing up? This can be done directly or indirectly. Most likely from a dysfunctional family where only one member was allowed to get their needs met and everyone else in the family catered to their needs as the expense of their own.

Hey, just a reminder, pbutton, you're NOT AN IDIOT!

I was just about to say that!

were you looking in my FOO house window?!