Relief at not seeing T

For several reasons I have had to cancel therapy for the next 2 weeks then T is on leave for a week. So 3 weeks without seeing him. Last time it was so long was at xmas when he was on leave and I got in such a panic about it. I dont know whether its because this time Ive initiated the cancelling, but I felt a sense of relief that I dont have to suffer the anxiety of going to see T, being so vulnerable in session, the "closing up" when the session ends and all the emotions I feel in between sessions.

Just wondering if you think this is normal or a good/bad thing?

i know exactly what that feels like. last week i had to cancel this weeks appt due to scheduling conflicts and i was SO relieved for all the reasons you mentioned. and T is going to be gone next week so it was going to be a 2 week break. Buuutttt then i decided that while its easier to not deal with all the emotions of therapy, I am there for a reason, and if it was easy everyone would do it. So I decided to keep pushing forward and called and was able to cram in an appt for this week....i still feel some relief that T will be gone next week and I get a lil' break.

I don't know if it's normal, good, or bad, noodle, but I recently went through it myself. So, you are not alone.

I see T today after a 2.5 week break and I'm dreading it.

It does not sound like much time has passed (and like you have other things on your mind to "distract" you from thinking about therapy this time); I predict you might go through the gamut of emotions between now and when you see T again?

I agree, but right now I'm questioning whether I really want to put myself through all the anguish of the therapy process itself- it seems to be bringing me more problems than I went into therapy with. And I know that I'll dread seeing T again, like Chopin.

This is exactly right. I only made the decision a couple of days ago, and T only got back to me today (my appt was scheduled for today). and yes, I have other things on my mind right now that are distracting me from thoughts about T/therapy. I think you are probably right that at some point between now and then I will stop feeling relieved and start feeling lots of different emotions- and I don't know if I want to put myself through it.

I think this is all part of that push/pull type of thing that we all do with our T's at one point or another. I have not been able to see T Since the 27th of April due to insurance reasons and its been killing me. I text her several times and text her again today asking if I can actually call her tomorrow and she said yes. But maybe a month ago before my insurance issues took place- I wanted a break and didn't miss T inbetween sessions. I think it depends on where you are-at the moment and if you are welcoming the break-then that is okay and you can just use the time to be with "you" and try to take it easy.

I know the feeling, noodle_82, and I don't think it's weird or bad at all. I think it's been a natural part of the therapy process, at least for me.

feels kinda nice at times being on a break. i take breaks for months at a time. lets me be me for awhile.