Too Dependent on T's

I'm not too dependent. In fact, T is encouraging me to become more dependent. I asked him once what the criteria should be for calling him between sessions (we don't text or email), because I didn't want to be the client who constantly needs him. He said that he actually worries the opposite about me - that I won't call when I really should as opposed to calling for trivial things.

I've always taken pride in being fiercely independent (with emphasis on the fierce, I suppose). I'm just now starting to learn that independence is overrated. A more fulfilling way to live is to learn to trust people enough to become interdependent on them. The first step in that is trusting him enough to depend heavily on him. It may go a little too far in the opposite direction at some point, but that's how you learn to zero in on the appropriate level of dependency/interdependency.

I spoke to my T about the fact that I am worried about becoming too dependant on her. She asked me what my definition of too dependant is. I realised then that I didn't really know, just that I was more dependant on her than I would like. I guess I start feeling anxious when I am more vulnerable than the other person. When I am more dependant on them that they are on me. That is when I get uncomfortable and want to create some distance. I think about T all the time but I doubt she ever thinks of me outside of session. I don't know how I am going to be able to talk to her about this; I feel anxious just thinking about it!

I try very hard to not have any contact with T between sessions. My rules- not T. T encourages it, anytime. When I think I need to communicate between sessions I try to sort out the true reason behind it and ask myself things like "is it truly significant", "can I figure this out on my own", "can I divert myself with an activity for a few hours and then see if I still need to call/text". You can see where this is going. If I do end of contacting T I usually feel bad afterwards.

I've always been dependent on my T's. I've had 5. Learning how to NOT need therapy, to be independent, is one of my main goals but it seems like I have to be dependent first. My current T is the first one with whom I feel like I have a secure attachment, and we are working on how to lessen my dependence on her. Whether I'm TOO dependent or not is irrelevant. "It is what it is".

I've been thinking about this. I don't think there's any such thing as "too dependent." We're as dependent as we need to be. That may be more dependent than we're comfortable with, but the mind wants what it wants. If you need the dependence, you're going to feel it. You may fight it, but it's still there.

I think it would be illuminating to explore the fear of or resistance to dependence. It's probably based on something that would be very valuable to address.

what if we allowed the dependence. accepted it, acknowledging that's what we need now, in this moment, but also hold on the the belief that it won't always be that way.

i believe that would take a lot of faith. ... a lot of faith in our therapists and a lot of faith in ourselves.

just my thoughts at the moment...