[Hopefull]

I have talked with her about five times and I feel like I just got to know her. But, now she is moving her Mondays over to one of the other offices and isn't spending any time in the office that I can get to. She says that she will find someone else in the agency for me to talk to. However, I don't want to have to try to get to know someone else in her stupid agency. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I cried while walking home. I wanted to try to work on my annoying negative thinking and I am so close to toning down the worrying enough to do that. Then she gives me news like that. GGGGRRRRRR! I developed a slight dependence on the twit. Why do I think I might sleep even worse than usual?

[Overcastbutclearing]

(((Hopefull)))
I hope you were able to sleep.
I am very sorry to hear that your T, who you have just begun to open up to, is moving her Mondays to another office. Is she in the office you can walk to on other days? Can you make your appt for one of those days?
I can understand your frustration.
Stay HOPEFULL....keep working on YOU.

[hazeleyes]

(((Hopefull)))) I'm so sorry about your T. I can understand your frustration. Isn't there any way you can still see her? Can you call her to tell her how you feel if nothing else? Maybe she can help you sort it out?

[JustBen]

That stinks, Hopefull. It sounds really frustrating. Something to talk about with the new therapist, if nothing else.

[Hopefull]

I wonder how long I should wait before I try to find someone myself. I don't like knowing it may be a while before I get the pleasure of sharing what's on my mind with someone. I don't know I like doing that. Besides, it makes me worry less. Hence, less headaches as work.
I suspect she might try to check the other T's schedules on Monday because that is the only time that she works in that office. Otherwise, I will probably try to call and find one myself. But, I am not sure how easy that will be because my insurance wanted the treatment plan and progress notes and she said that she didn't get the letter. So, I might have fun with that too. She said that she can't sign off until things are tied up. But, if she has to send that stuff. Does that me I have noone to talk to for awhile or am I totally guessing wrong due to my slight dependence on her. Things are easier when you have someone to share your feelings and thougts with.

[(JD)]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Things are easier when you have someone to share your feelings and thougts with.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> you got that right.

[Hopefull]

She's out sick still. I was supposed have an appointment today. I miss her. I don't know when she will find me someone to talk to. Did she get the letter and send the insurance my way too personal progress notes? Or are they too personal? I don't want my insurance to read about my thinking about suicide. I mean they probably know that I have the tendency because I mentioned it to my EAP while trying to get permission to talk to a counselor. I told her about the last one. I enjoyed doing that too because it's the first time I ever described one of the suicidal thoughts to a another human being and she didn't even react. I love that. What if the next person freaks/over reacts when he/she reads the notes from our last session?

[Hopefull]

New T called and I have an appointment. But, I am scared because she probably knows lots about me. While I only know her name, she's in network, a licensed clinical social worker and has a nice phone voice.
My insurance doesn't seem to have gotten much information from previous T. So, I have to play messenger and ask new T to talk to my insurance. AAAAA! I don't want to waste my time messengering for them when I'd rather talk about a lot of other things. I haven't talked to someone since the sixth of this month. I've been collecting things to talk about--I like to talk about what gives me headaches in the hope of relieving my worries and crying.
But, on a bright note, I skipped a month on the thought of suicide thing--unless I get one soon. I think I won't.

[Hopefull]

I met new T and like her. I can't see her again for over a month though due to her being booked up. I miss talking to a T when I don't get it. Does anyone else have a tendency to have scheduling problems with their Ts? Or will this change if I can keep the same T for a while?

[(JD)]

I don't have any problem. I think it depends upon your T and their method for scheduling. If you want the same day, time each week or whenever, be sure to say so, and have them schedule you for a month ahead or so.

Good to hear you like her!

[grimsbycat]

i have HUGE problems with scheduling. I feel like i have to beg for an appt sometimes and im nto really into that so i usually dont beg then i dont get an appt and i think she might think i dont care and am not commited to therapy. But then there are times where i page her or eamil her or call and ask for a return and get none. I know she is busy and over booked but geeze...

[Hopefull]

Sounds rough. I know I mentioned that the full month wait due to the fact that we just met wan't the greatest. I told her that the last time I went for a full month between sessions. I wasted the session due to a lack of focus. I just lost my focus in the middle of the session. I kept wanting to cut her off and tell her that my mind wasn't there. So, shut up woman. I didn't of course say that. I just hope that I don't have that focus problem in April when we meet next. I might not though because I don't think I am carrying around as much crap around in my brain as I was in December.

[(JD)]

WHOA! I'm sorry you didn't tell your T that! (Not shut up, but, that your "mind" wasn't on what she was talking about!) Don't let her do that again. Therapy is to work on issues that YOU find pertinent...usually the things that are clogging your thinking. If not the actual items, then the reasons you're ruminating those thoughts.

Maybe by making a list of those things on your mind, each day... and then choosing the ones that don't "go away" by April, will help you lead your T into what is important for you? TC

[January]

Write down points you want to discuss. I do it everytime. That way I can look at it and see if I've forgotten anything. It really helps.

My best to you,

Jan

[Hopefull]

I have a headache. Second one today! AAAAAA!
I am studying to be an addiction counselor. But, I sometimes worry if I am able to be mentally healthy enough to counsel others. Old T shut me down on that one. I mentioned it and she told me not to worry about it because practicum is in 2007. But, I want to resolve this concern before then. I know that I can learn the material and be empathetic. But, can I be a good listener and know what to say to a client? My teachers seem to think I can when they see my pretend counseling sessions. But, I am such a negative thinker that I don't do well in a real crisis. I freeze up which is not what I want to do if I am dealing with a suicidal client.
I am terrible at face recognition. I discovered that my cat's vet has a dyslexic inability to distinguish her left from her right hand. She also has the face blindness thing. I have been wondering for quite a while whether or not I have a minor case of Dyslexia. My dad has a reading level around the fourth grade. I also tend to rotate letters of words and digits of numbers. I do it very little with words. But, I oddly notice that I rotate numbers if I glance quickly and try to read them. My dad has mentioned that he messes up on numbers too. Could that be dyslexia?
As for the old T, I think she failed to pre-certify. When I called the insurance company to say that I was switching mental health providers, the certification line didn't know me. AAAAAAAAAA! Apparently the benefits department doesn't seem to share information with the certify line. My new T finally called them and got 10 sessions okeyed. Yee Haw. Am I going to end up eating some bills because of the old T's failure to pre-certify? I left a message on her e-mail to pre-certify. Why didn't she seem to ever talk to my insurance? I think they heard more from me than from her. But, they don't care to hear from me. They want to talk to her. I know that the new T is getting the insurance caught up with all their nosey requests for progress notes. AAAAAA! Dear insurance, have you ever heard of the idea that I don't want you to read all sorts of crap about me? I just have a strange desire to spill my guts to someone sometimes. It seems to reduce the frequency of my headaches.
Sorry about the length. It will be interesting to see if any of you actually voluntarily subject yourself to reading this rant. But, I don't have anyone to rant to for a whole freaqin month.

[(JD)]

LOL I did! Hmm wonder how much you are responsible for if she didn't do her job? I would at least write that the bill is disputed! She might cut you a break just for raising it.

Yes, dyslexia could be part of your problem... why not find out for sure and then you can learn to compensate for it now? TC

[Peanuts]

You can inquire about testing that will indicate dyslexia. If you are dyslexic, there are lots of compensation strategies that will help.

Here are some useful web sites:
http://www.interdys.org/
http://www.ldonline.org/

[Hopefull]

Thanks for reading my long rant. I haven't called benefits to see if those bills have been paid or not. Since the certify line doesn't seem to talk to the benefits department, I might not hear anything. But, I wish they would once in awhile send me a statement. I mean just so I can see if the number of sessions is right. I would want the client to double check that sort of thing. But, they only send me copies of their requests for progress notes--nosy nosy in my opinion. Can keep a few secrets?

[(JD)]

You are certainly entitled to a statement, even when insurance companies pay %100 of a bill, the patient is allowed an accounting. Yes, about the progress notes, but those aren't anything special, believe me. That just makes the T accountable, and the insurance company "legal and solvent." lol Like that stops the crooked doctors? IDK oop I digress.

TC!

[Hopefull]

I get to talk to new T again soon. I am so freaking eager to talk to her. Why do I enjoy talking to her when I usually end up crying a little in every session? But, I get oddly happier in the week before an appointment. Its like knowing that I get to talk to her gives me a sense of hope. My self-manufactured sense of help doesn't last very long. Her T-induced sense of hope lasts a little over a week. I hope she has gotten to know my buttons better in being able to produce the T-induced sense of hope.
I hope to ramble about things on my mind. I hope she doesn't try to review past sessions again. She hardly knows me outside of a file and yet she will probably get stuck listening to me ramble in my odd stream of thought way. Oh, what joy for her? Not.
HeHeHe!

[(JD)]

(((hopefull))) don't worry about what the T is thinking. It's because we know the T does care and CAN help by listening to us and offering hope that we "enjoy" talking with them, imo.

[Hopefull]

I got one bill for one of the sessions that old T probably failed to pre-certify. The insurance tells me that they are waiting for more information. I get to play insurance messenger again. If I become an addiction counselor, I will hate dealing with the insurance companies the most. This time it sounds like they want everything except a transcript. I wonder if that is next-hehe. I suspect I will have to eat the bills for three sessions after they learn even more about me. Ever heard of privacy? AAAAAAAAAA! They are going to know my history (Dysthymic Disorder). I was hoping I could keep that one secret. I think I'm going to feel stigmatized due to all the information that they have on me. I don't like people to know all kinds of stuff about my negative thinking tendencies. (But, everyone knows that I am a major negative thinking because I can't keep from insulting myself at work.)

[(JD)]

Grrr. If you end up "eating" those session bills, you can ask your T to only charge you the insurance rate at least. (The amount T would have collected from insurance, not full rate.)

Dysthymic Disorder, while miserable, is not a biggie "secret" to worry about. IMO. People at insurance companies don't really care what each person has or doesn't have in the way of disorders...they are "just" paper pushers and have their own lives.

Rest assured that dealing with insurance companies will be part of your job... assuming that you are approved by them to offer coverage, and that you are affluent enough to afford them! (Talking about you being on the "other side of the desk.") Sure is time to think about that one