Would appreciate any good wishes for tomorrow!

Move over guys I want to come........Somebody catch me!

How did it go, Bear?

Bashful, how did your meetings go?

Thanks everyone - it honestly means a lot to me that so many of you replied and supported me, particularly as I lack any kind of support system offline!

Thank you so much for asking, Apteryx, that's so thoughtful! Yesterday was pretty interesting, to say the very least!

T1 wasn't as friendly in person as I'd anticipated from our e-mail communication and her photo.. she was pretty cold and clinical (VERY posh too), and didn't really give a straight answer to anything I asked. I don't doubt she's a good person, I was just pretty disappointed.

T2 was extremely personable (seems to be an outgoing person), seemed pretty concerned, so explained she didn't want to push me and fill in all the questions on her form at that initial meeting, and I felt reasonably comfortable. I found it pretty amusing when she explained why she had shells, buttons, toys, ornaments and sand in the room.. I've NEVER seen anything like that before! I guess ultimately she spoke to me like I was a human being (if you know what I mean) and she said something at the end that nobody's ever said to me before. I'm unsure how she plans to work with me, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with some of her policies though - particularly with regard to cancellations - they seem pretty unreasonable (and unusual).

T3 I immediately disliked! She was COMPLETELY money-orientated, uninterested, pretty self-conceited, and said some horrible/malicious things when I politely tried to say I didn't think we'd work well together! Bleurgh..

Basically, I'm unsure what to make of it all! I don't know if I should see more people, or just settle with the second T I saw yesterday..? There's also now the possibility that I may be able to see ex-T again (privately), so that throws another spanner in the works. I don't think me and ex-T are a good fit at all (I'm more uncomfortable with her than I was with T1 yesterday), but a lot happened in my life during the short-ish time we saw each other - so we've been through a lot together - and I revealed something really HUGE to her, which has made me kinda attached to her, even though we hadn't had the chance to discuss it or work with it..

I'm really stuck with what to do! There's a lot of family pressure on me too to pick a T within a few days and instantly get better (as if by magic)..

Thanks for asking too, MKAC - I've only just seen your response!!!

BashfulBear, I'm so glad at least one of the therapists was at least okay, though. That's encouraging, right? I'm not sure you should let the thing about the cancellation policy scare you off. I'm sure therapists have big issues with people cancelling (I know it's hard for me to drag my butt to therapy and I'm really motivated) and it affects their income. Maybe try her out for at least three or four sessions and then see?

The last one needs a smack upside the head though!

I agree that you might want to try T2 for a few appointments - administrative issues are not necessarily things that should be showstoppers if you felt comfortable with the person. If you see what I mean. If it turns out that you two are not right for each other you may want to interview others, but give her a chance first.

I hope you're feeling OK. I can't even imagine trying to open up to THREE strangers in one day!

Thanks for trying to help, both of you!

I understand where you're coming from with regard to seeing T2, however she wants a commitment for at least 6 sessions - costing £240 / $373 (USD) / 2,618 SEK - and I don't really want to pay that much money to test someone out and then possibly not stick with them.. if that makes any sense at all?! Maybe I'm just being a tight-wad, but I'm living off savings at the moment (unemployed student) and that's a lot to me. I don't know what most of you are charged per session though, so maybe that's really reasonable for 6.

I don't know.. I can't think straight right now. I had to sit an exam at 13:30 today that I didn't know I'd been entered for until I got home at 20:30 last night and checked my voicemails (basically, gave me no time to revise or prep for it), so my brain's a bit frazzled this evening!

My gut feeling is to make it work seeing ex-T (better the devil you know?), but I can't tell if I'm feeling that way because a) I genuinely believe it will work, b) I'm attached to her and miss her, or c) I don't want to have go through my 'story' all over again with a third T.. SO confused! All I know for sure is there's no way I can start over with a third T, see them for a while, realise it isn't working, and then go through it all again with a fourth T. I can't put myself through it.. it'll just push me over the edge again.

And yes, she needs a good kicking! She nearly cracked me (I didn't really show emotion all day) when she turned around and said 'GOOD, who'd want to work with a selfish little girl like you anyway!?' (in reference to me nearly killing myself and ending up in hospital whilst seeing ex-T). Disgusting woman. I nearly cried my eyes out. Referred to herself as a 'life coach' too, rather than a T, so I figured that just about said it all really!? No offence if anyone's T also calls themself a life coach, I've just never heard of it before..

Hmmm. Well, it's a bit cheaper per session than what I paid for appointments with my ex-T, but I agree that it sounds a little much to have to sign up for six appointments from the start. I think there was a thread a while ago about what people paid for therapy, and it seems to vary a lot.

She said WHAT?? Words fail me.

You don't need to decide anything just now. Give yourself a break tonight, watch the Holland-Germany game if you are so inclined, and give yourself credit for what you have accomplished - three T interviews and an exam in two days! (What do you study, btw?)

And yes, she needs a good kicking! She nearly cracked me (I didn't really show emotion all day) when she turned around and said 'GOOD, who'd want to work with a selfish little girl like you anyway!?' (in reference to me nearly killing myself and ending up in hospital whilst seeing ex-T). Disgusting woman. I nearly cried my eyes out. Referred to herself as a 'life coach' too, rather than a T, so I figured that just about said it all really!? No offence if anyone's T also calls themself a life coach, I've just never heard of it before..
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Ummm EXCUSE US???? she actually SAID THAT TO YOU?????? that infuriates us!!!! can we please kick her butt??? we have been talked to like that by ex-counselor and we still want to hurt her too. we are so sorry!!!

I'll have to do a search for that thread and take a look - thanks for the heads-up - I think it probably differs a lot based on the Ts qualifications and which therapies they offer (and are trained in)! Now that I'm thinking about it a little more, I think it's the six session contract that's bothering me ultimately.. darn her and her silly little (unique) policies!

Ah, Euro 2012! I'm quite tired of it.. she says having not missed a single match, haha! I don't even know who I want to win overall - I know I'm English, but we're pretty rubbish!

I actually study a few things, but the exam was Geography! If you want to know my other subjects - for whatever reason - I'm more than happy to say in a private message.. just a little wary of posting for all to see in case someone I know comes here (because it'll instantly give away my identity..)


I know, she was a nasty piece of work! You are more than welcome to do that TrinityDancer, in fact, I think I'd pay you! She didn't actually bother me all that much, because I don't know her, therefore I don't care what she thinks of me.. I think it was more the fact that I had the sudden realisation that ex-T might have felt (or probably does feel) exactly the same way, that I'm selfish for doing what I did.. it was that thought that managed to get through my thick skin and tug at my heart.

I'm sorry your ex-T said hurtful things to you too! Do you mind me asking their justification (other than being a lame douche who didn't deserve to work with you)? No worries if not, just oddly curious after what happened with me..!

If you were not comfortable with them, I would try some others or take a rest for a week or so. Starting off with more stress about their administrative procedures sounds unpleasant to me - and not in a good way.

I am completely crap at geography. I hope the exam went well.

Thanks for this response! I think I'll have a look through the counselling directory again tomorrow morning and hope that I haven't already looked at the profiles of all the Ts in my town (I looked through quite a few before and picked those 3 out as the 'best')!

Aw, I'm sure you're not as bad at it as you think you are - we can be way too harsh on ourselves sometimes! I'm not sure I'd say it went well (full stop).. but it went reasonably well considering the lack of notice (and fact that I hadn't studied it in a handful of months - since hospital).. if I manage to get a C or above on this one, I'll be a happy bear (says the girl who's usually a perfectionist)!

Aw, T2 e-mailed me! She's so cute! :3

**must not be swayed by that**

I'm sorry your ex-T said hurtful things to you too! Do you mind me asking their justification (other than being a lame douche who didn't deserve to work with you)? No worries if not, just oddly curious after what happened with me..!
no actually we dont mind at all but might have to PM it to you because a lit of it we just arent comfortable making public♥ will do so when we get some time later on but right now have to go buy some spray to keep kahlua out of places he doesnt belong!

I totally understand about the PM, no worries!
I hope you're able to get what it is you need!

PS. Kahlua makes me think of the liqueur..

She said *what*, BashfulBear? Wow, is she a member of any professional bodies you can complain to? I'm guessing not, and that's why she's calling herself a life coach. Wow. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm so impressed that you are trying so hard. Hope you have managed to rest after your T marathon

You know what? I just checked, and she actually is, thus is supposed to work within an 'ethical framework'.. I wasn't unsettled enough to really justify (in my mind) complaining to someone.. and it would just be her word against mine anyway, you know?! I could easily just drag her name and business through the dirt, but I'm not that kind of person, haha. I can't imagine she has much business anyway, what with talking to people like that and being so desperate..

Thanks though! No rest yet, but seeing as I don't have anything much to do tomorrow I shall probably sleep in until midday, and then spend the rest of the day on here and doing T related things.

Oh my god I can't believe that person said such a horrible thing to you!!! Why would she do that and call herself a therapist er, "life coach"?? IMO "life coaches" are crap. That's what my DBT person called herself. Ugh. But that's no excuse to say something like what she said! That is abusive!

Eh, she's not worth our time or breath!
I do (now) have this NEED to know if that's how ex-T feels about me though.. ugh!