Sharing Through Writing With Your Therapist

Has there been things you wanted to say in therapy, but couldn't? Have you tried writing it down and just handing it to your T instead during the session or in between?

Was a good or bad experience?

When my mother passed away a couple months ago, I had an appt 2 days after her death.
i wrote down on paper I had just lost my mother and i was going to cancel but figured Id had to come for comfort. I handed it to her as i could not bring it up or i would have broken down.
I have also written a half dozen poems about my life and feelings inside and read aloud to her.
i figure any communication you give is accepting to the therapist.
But what do i know...I'm half crazy anyways...

P.S. It was a good experiance. Good luck.

Yes, I've done that many, many times. Each time it has been a very helpful and positive experience. I am better with writing than I am with speaking, and even after nearly two years with my T, when something hard comes up, I still resort to writing - I'll write it out, edit it a few times (though T prefers I don't edit!) and then hand it over for T to read. I always feel better after I've shared whatever it is with T that I couldn't speak.

Good luck!

I do this a lot. It's too much for my therapist to read in between so I give it to her during my appointments. I was so nervous the first time I tried. I think I'd taken writing in before but not been brave enough to mention it. My therapist was fantastic about it. She encourages it. I've managed to capture moments in writing that I wouldn't have either remembered well enough to share, or wouldn't have been brave enough to say. I think I gradually tested out saying things I wanted to say through writing, little bit by little bit. I do try to say as much as I can out loud. I've seen her for three and a half years and still struggle to talk about the really hard stuff. Even the writing I've been really nervous about sharing has been okay. My therapist really hears my words, my thoughts...and that helps so much. So I've had a really positive experience with it.

For my first couple of months of therapy I would write out all that I was feeling and wanted to address. I said very little during each session and only used nods and shrugs to communicate. Since I was uncomfortable talking, this worked well for me at that time.
Fortunately now I am more comfortable with talking to my t instead of giving her notes, usually. I did send her an email recently with a topic I couldn't verbalize and we talked about it next time.

My writing skills are far superior to my oral skills, so I prefer to write. In the past, I've sent T emails, some rather long. I have also written things and brought them to session, but I actually felt more comfortable reading what I wrote to T. That way, there was no uncomfortable silence and I didn't have to look at her.

I've come a long way since then, and I either come to session with no real agenda or simply make a list of things to bring up to make sure I don't forget anything. I make good eye contact now. That being said, I will still write an occasional email if I want T to know something prior to session.

I haven't done this with my T, but I have done it with a former high school teacher (and still do) when telling her some really hard things. I have found it to be a happy medium. I will never forget this teacher, she means a lot to me, she finally got me comfortable with actually talking about it. Took a year and half of emailing before I agreed to talk to her about it in person, I'm sad I waited so long! Now we meet over school breaks to catch up with each other .

I would never do this because if you think what comes out of my mouth is disgustingly violent, you should see what I write, lol.

There were a LOT of things easier for me to write than to say.. many times after leaving therapy, I'd have epiphanies that I just *had* to share with her. She has loved getting between-session emails from me (or, so she says). The deal is, though, that I can write her as much as I want, but only if I don't expect a reply. Sometimes she has 'replied,' but usually by calling me. If I wrote and she determined my state of mind was deteriorating too far, she has called me.

So, it's been a good experience for me. I should probably clarify, though, that I don't write her like I'd write a friend. I never write about newsy-type things. It's always about my therapy-oriented thoughts and feelings.

I am often having a hard time talking in therapy lately. Some hard times are coming to the surface. I find that my system and I are reaching for a pen and paper to write it out, or my little ones draw it. It helps a lot when I can't get the words to come out of my mouth.

I email and text often. I feel like I get more done that way then I do when I try to "talk". But that is a goal of mine, to get it to come out. To me, saying it orally makes it more real, connected to me, something I can't put space between.

I love writing and either sreading with her or just letting her read them. she says it makes us closer since I am revealing the hard stuff. I also share my poetry with her because I know she gets it. so continue to write eventually you will find it easier to have the conversations. if you have the priveledge to e-mail utilize it I don't have that but I call her and just vent not expecting a response.

Once I tried to give my T something that I had written, but was unable to do so. I just felt to self conscious, and I was worried that my writing would come across as lacking depth or intelligence. I think it could be very beneficial if I was able to share writings, and I know that my T wouldn't judge me, but I still haven't been able to try again.

For one of my first appointments with my current T, I brought a letter that someone else had written about me, because I was unable to bring up some things I wanted to talk about. That was... not exactly embarrassing, but really difficult and I felt immensely self-conscious handing it over. And I felt as if I was about three times my usual size, sitting there while he was reading it. But my T treated it as a completely ordinary thing to happen, which made it much easier. And it led to good things - so I would say it was a good experience.

I've tried writing letters and such to former T's, but never really got the reaction I was hoping for. With my current T, that I absolutely love, she gave me a homework assignment and told me to only do it if it helped, otherwise, don't worry about it. Well, I used it on some really hard issues for me, which I've never been able to bring up in therapy before. The act of writing it down before hand, not necessarily even with talking about it with her in mind, and then reading it to her, was really soothing. I also liked that it was sort of a guided writing exercise to give me some sort of focus so I didn't just wander all over the place and bring up too many issues at once. I know this experience is a little different than what most others were talking about, but if you're having trouble finding the words on paper, as well as in session, you could ask T for some sort of writing prompt. My exercise was to take an upsetting experience, write down the negative thoughts, and then write down some positive counter-thoughts. I found it really helpful. I feel closer to T and safe, and like I am getting better.. I will get better...

My T insisted I talk to her in therapy sessions only. I could and did mail her (to her office) a great deal; cards, letters, journals, over many years. It was helpful to me in feel connected to her (usually I wrote when she was away on vacation when I could imagine her coming back and reading what I read before seeing me, "catching up") or like she might have more information to work with me during sessions. She did not allow me to bring in other people's thoughts (books) or discuss anything in session I did not bring up.

Eventually, I decided to quit writing her and only talked to her during session, every session and that was it.

I've done journaling off and on and shared it at times with T's. I'm not sure what reaction I was looking for, maybe it was "let's talk about this thing you raised in your journal", but that never happened. My current T has a couple of times made vague references to something I've written, once reading me a quote from a Buddhist text that she thought related to it (it did). They have always told me that they read them and thanked me for giving it to them, so it didn't go unnoticed or unacknowledged. My current T still sometimes refers to the 5 or so things I once said I wanted out of therapy.

I think that the T's I have chosen have been of the variety that do not believe in telling clients what they should work on, so they wouldn't be the type to say, "let's talk about this thing you raised in your journal." I would probably freak and refuse to do so if they did, because I like to be in control of my therapy sessions and in starting the session itself.

Writing has always been my first choice of communication. I used to journal and sometimes bring them in to read to my T. This was before email existed, with my first T. I was uncomfortable talking with her so writing helped a lot.

My current T is the first one who allowed email so I took full advantage of it. I emailed her my thoughts and feelings about my session each week, and she usually replied, though briefly. Then we decided that her short replies were upsetting me so she stopped them, but I was still allowed to email her as much as I liked. A few weeks ago, we changed the rule again and I know longer email her.

Aside from the emailing, I've written poems and essays which I've shared with my T. She's always interested in my writing. I think, for those of us who have difficulty speaking in therapy, writing is a big help. I do want to say, though, that my T never liked when I wanted to read from an email. That used to frustrate me. She wanted to know how I am "right then, in the moment, not how I was when I wrote the email." She doesn't like when I'm "in my head" as she calls it. So writing can be a barrier between you and your T if it replaces talking directly to her. I think it's like training wheels. Use them when necessary and then wean yourself off of them.

I write the one I see every so often. I do it either to try to explain my frustration so I can forestall or even head off the post therapy si, or because I am more articulate in writing and at least then I have a record of what I said and I know it is clear so if she is still not hearing/listening/responding to what I am saying, I at least know I have said it explicitly so that the fault is not mine.

The only time that I have written something that in hopes of my T reading it was the details of the RA..after I intially disclosed it we talked about ways we can work through it. He told me a good idea would be to write it out.. I already had. He said that is good, then you could read it to me. I then said, or you could read it and he said it would be better for me to read it to him. So, that was my experience. That was a couple of months ago, and I bring it with me everytime I have an appointment. I would so much rather hand it to him than me read it!!

Yes, I have done this and it has truly helped. One of the biggest ways it has helped me is that in the past, I would write out what I could not say in a session to my T and now, I am able to say it first but write about it later so she can read it. I have also written stuff and then would bring it into a session but be able to say, "I wrote something that I need to share." I would then just tell her what was going on in my own words and then give her a copy of my journal entry.

yep. i did this in my second to last session. wanted to let T know how much i appreciated him but couldn't say it out loud! it was good.

I email my t tons of stuff. She wants me to. It does help.

My T allows and encourages emails, so I tend to email her the things I want to say by can't. Then, she reads them, and we talk about them in session. For me, this works, because my T knows that I am willing to talk about them with her, I just can't get started and need the email to start things off.

I also journal a lot, but my T typically asks me to read those to her, rather than having her read them. This is harder, because if I'm reading it out loud, I can skip over the difficult stuff if I lose my nerve.

For me, T has always treated my emails with respect, and has always helped me to talk about them and work through the things I couldn't say.

I went through a hard time where I wasn't talking in session, and getting very frustrated outside of session. I wrote about it in my journal and showed T, on impulse. It was helpful to him and kick-started my talking again. I wouldn't want to rely on it overly much, personally, because I get more out of the real-time conversation.

My T started encouraging me to write, and it really helped me open up to her and communicate what I was feeling more clearly. Sometimes I find it hard to verbalise... Overall it has been very positive for me, and I really appreciate that we can communicate via email. It's also helped me feel connected and get through some tough weeks between sessions... I think for me it was important to feel like she's always 'there'... I think it's helped me develop a more secure attachment.