Stopped taking meds cold - probably not a good idea =/

Hi all,
Long time reader, first time poster. Quick to the point, I sense that not trusting your T is a common theme in these boards. I just wanted to say I am going through that now and wanted to know how you guys deal with it?

A little bit about myself: I have been going to my T for almost 2 years. Recently, I started to see her twice a week and also taking 40mg Celexa and 1mg Ativan. However, last week I went on a long vacation trip and felt just so happy. During that time, I decided to stop taking my meds just to see how I felt. Fast forward one week later, I am getting the dreaded "head-spinning/vomiting" symptoms. I read today that I am getting the withdrawl symtoms

I tried calling me psychiatrist but he hasn't gotten back to me. Of course, all my trust issues I had toward my psychiatrist and T has started to bubble up again. Thoughts such as

1.) does she really care for me?
2.) is therapy just a scam?
3.) are meds really helpful or is it all placebo effect?

are key themes.

Also, for the first time, I decided to look up my T's work experience and bio. I swore in the past I would never do it because I believed in judging not her past qualifications, but the work she does to help me. Needlessly to say, I started to question her profession and decided to look her up today for the first time.

I guess I am still skeptical about the whole therapy/medicine combo - especially with the whole side effects I am getting now. What really is making me confused is when I went on vacation and when I didn't take the meds, I felt GREAT. Now I feel like crap because of the withdrawal.

Anyways, just wanted to get this off my chest. My T is gone till next week, my psychiatrist hasn't gotten back to me, so I have no one to bounce this around with Any comments would be greatly appreciated!

I have trust issues. I don't really know how to deal with it, other than continuing to go back.

I don't know much about meds. I do have Ativan & have read that it's a really bad idea to quit it cold turkey.

Welcome to the posting world of PC I hope you hear back from your psychiatrist soon; stopping cold doesn't sound so pleasant from what you are describing

I had very serious trust issues when I started with my current T.
But I was so desperate I kept going back anyway.

I trust her now, though.

To a great extent, it is the therapist's job to win your trust. They are trained in that.

Good luck!

I just wanted to say ohhhh I hate those head spins from coming off meds. Horrible! THe only thing worse are the brain zaps. I hope you don't get those.. erk!

(((hugs))) I went off my meds twice this past year without consulting my doctor, headspins nausea, yuck...just awful and then a lecture from T. But i don't believe a tablet can make all your problems go away, I believe only I can do that. I hope your T gets back to you soon, I think you need to talk to her. I am sure she does care about you, most of them do. Meanwhile while you are waiting for a reply post here, we can help if you need anyone to talk to. Its not a pleasant experience and helps when you have support.

Welcome to posting. First, watch out for that ativan withdrawal...it can and will get serious. You need to go off of it very slowly. Cold Turkey with this stuff can have long term side effects. Take the pill and talk to your doc about titrating off of it. (the withdrawal doesn't hit you until 3-5 days after taking the last pill)

I frequently waver between trust and non-trust. I think it's the nature of the beast.

UPDATE: Thanks for all the support and replies! It really means a lot

I got a phone call from my psychiatrist last night around 8pm. He explained to me not to get off my meds because my problems were probably masked by the fact that I came back from my vacation and had a great time. He told me if I wanted to quit though, I should cut back on my mg (20mg) for the next week.

I have to admit it felt great just having my psychiatrist call me that late making me feel wanted - yeah I know it sounds silly, but its those little things that makes me feel good. Also, I like the fact that he didn't force me to take meds, but just gave an advice and let me choose.

Eventually I decided to take 40mg again and, I don't know if it is a placebo effect or what not, but in less than 2 hours I didn't feel dizzy or nauseous at all.

Man, meds make me so confused ....