And another one gone and another one gone

Aug 17, 2012, 09:06 AM

perhaps its not socializing you despise, maybe its that you are socializing with people who are not like minded? Doesn't mean you have to go clubbing or join a group, cant you just sit at home with another and watch a movie ? IMO depression and lack of interaction with people ARE related, even if you don't want them to be. You may not recognize that need or want to recognize that need, or think you don't even have it. Could this be a defense of sorts? Even if you had a discussion with another about how you DON'T need each other?

unaluna · Aug 17, 2012, 12:00 PM

what is your T's issue? you have a partner. when was the last time anybody made a friend thru a class? I made a friend thru AA in 1996 but we're NOT friends anymore. I've been to classes and groups and people are there WITH their friends already, or they just don't want to make friends with ME. How many times do we have to prove this? There was an article in the nytimes a week or so ago about how hard it is to make friends after a certain age and stage in life. You might make "activity partners", which i'm not complaining about. but classes - choose wisely. don't make yourself feel worse by blindly following T's orders, that's all i'm saying.

Aug 17, 2012, 01:40 PM

No need to be so categorical, hankster - while it makes little sense to me to join a class in order to make friends, for me personally I can't imagine making friends in a setting that's not based on shared interests - so for me, work, classes, and similar contexts are the places I would be able to make friends. That is not to say that it works like that for everybody, but it's definitely not true that it doesn't work for anybody.

Sannah · Aug 17, 2012, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KazzaX

The first sign you get from the script is the shock in their eyes. Then there is a little bit of disgust on their face but they usually realise this real quick and make their face look relaxed. Then after that, its their actions and words that all kinda give it away. The therapy kinda fizzles out and there is a nasty atmosphere in the air after the initial shock.

Maybe you are projecting all of this or it is transference?

Aug 17, 2012, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KazzaX

Another one bites the dust!

Gonna have to get rid of this T. It is a bummer because I had a lot of hope. I have no idea why but my last 6 or 7 T's have always followed the same script! They say "do not generalise" but its hard not to when they all follow the same script!

I'm not sure why but the trigger that initialises the script is when they ask a question and I tell them about how I'm not interested in socialising or interacting with other people, I am just here to treat my depression. What is so WRONG with that?? Don't different people have different preferences in life? Is it a crime? They never told me being unique was a crime at school. They said the opposite - so why do I keep being punished for being unique?? The mind boggles!

Lack of interaction with others fosters depression. You are not really trying to treat your depression if you refuse to take the steps to involve yourself in the world outside of you- you want to stay inside yourself-where you are depressed. Your T's are confused.

I was the same way, and feeling awful about my depression. My T has a similar background, and she is very active. It made me remember that as a kid, the only thing that helped me not cut/feel better was running. So- I started running again, exercising, hiking, swimming-with others. I am still depressed, but not as bad as before. I didn't want to do those things either but I did, and I am glad I took the risk.

Maybe you should think about it.

KazzaX · Aug 18, 2012, 11:58 AM

Thanks guys. A lot of different info there and ideas. I will digest it and think about all of it. TY

I got a bit offended by tentative connections post telling me that its just because I'm not trying hard enough. That is a bit of a rude thing to say. Not sure if you are projecting something on me, or in a bad mood or what. Anyway no biggie.

Aug 18, 2012, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KazzaX

Thanks guys. A lot of different info there and ideas. I will digest it and think about all of it. TY

I got a bit offended by tentative connections post telling me that its just because I'm not trying hard enough. That is a bit of a rude thing to say. Not sure if you are projecting something on me, or in a bad mood or what. Anyway no biggie.

I didn't say you weren't trying "hard enough."

I said when you come in and say I want to treat my depression, but I don't want to take the recommended steps to get better, it confuses your therapists.

It's the same as having cancer and telling the dr you want to fix it and they say you need chemo and radiation and you say no, I'm not going to do that, but I still want you to cure me. Any dr would be confused as to what the next step should be.

Sorry if my comment offended you, but it's just my opinion, and you know what they say about opinions.

KazzaX · Aug 19, 2012, 03:30 AM

Yes I know. And I will ignore yours. TY

growlycat · Aug 19, 2012, 04:03 AM

Don't know if this is helpful, but I'll give it a go.

Most therapists I believe use the need for closeness as a tool, but if closeness does not motivate you then maybe the T is at a loss as to what to do next. They may even feel like you don't like them. It's really really hard to want to help someone if you feel like they don't like you. Therapists are human too.

I guess just try to pinpoint what you want out of therapy? Is it possible to be less depressed and be cut off from everyone? I don't know the answer just putting it out there.

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