Terms of Endearment

NO my T has not done that. I don't think that I would react well to that. He did say "_____ is one of your endearing qualities"... I didn't even like that he used the word endearing... bothered me for days...

No she never does, she is WAY too disciplined to do something like that, and she knows that it would stick in my head and make the rest of the session rather unproductive.

I'm surprised at the responses to this question. I'm in the south. My T calls me girlfriend all the time, which I relate to the fact that she's black so it's probably a natural word for her. One time when I was leaving, she said something like, "bye sweetie"... It was really sweet, and I didn't give it much more thought until now. Maybe that was a slip on her part? She is usually strict on boundaries... Recently she has got this habit of calling me by my first name when I say/ask something unrealistic. She will say, "now bamapsych!" and then we ususally both start laughing. I tend to call everybody honey.

I am from the south too, but the therapist I see is not. My family was not big into such terms. I can deal with friends who do it, but, for me, it is not the sort of relationship I have or want to have with a therapist for those terms to be appropriate.

I love how the English language is so different depending on where you are

(Swedish, meanwhile, is not a language where direct address with names or nicknames is used a lot in normal conversation. So no T has ever called me anything at all.)

LOL i'm in the midwest but my T's big burly ginger doorman is from the south, and he calls me girlfriend all the time!

I got 'hun' again today

Over our several years together, my T has called me "my dear" about 3 times. It was fine. I liked it. A rare occurrence, but fine. I would like it if he addressed me by name more frequently. I am not sure I have ever heard him say my name except on the few times he has called me on the phone.

"Just call me Attila."

(I'm sorry - I just couldn't resist)

Why does your T need a bouncer/bodyguard?
Does he have some difficult patients?

"Eugene, show Ms Hankster out!"

The counseling center/psychological college where I go for therapy has a security officer at the door, then the clients go upstairs to the receptionist office. Then T comes to get me

I know the tiki huts in the south pacific where you live don't usually have doormen / security guards, but yeah big condo bldgs in larger cities do

tiki huts.

well where was he sayin he lived? west of here, south of there, I figured he lived in a tiki hut. now you got me laffin

west of the pacific, south of the equator. Let's google map it and see if we can see little tiki huts.

I think he's in Antarctica.

I thought he was on a planet far, far away - didn't CE dress up like a Sith or something that time?

Not Sith. Nazgul.

@Hankster: I forgot you live in Detroit, where hordes of unemployed auto workers roam the streets. And they're UNIONISED.

I call my students terms of endearment all the time, in english, and i have a bunch of them...pumpkin, honey, sweetie, sugar, sweetpea, etc.
i do it only to the kids i really like/ love. I dont do it do those that i dont care much for....they usually get their full name... Kind of like when you're a child and get in trouble and you KNOW youre in trouble when mama calls you by your 1st,middle, and last names....
And i wonder why there are so many food related nicknames in english?

for the first time in over four years, my therapist called me a term of endearment yesterday. i'm not exactly sure what lead up to it, but next thing i know she says "ok, kiddo?" and i think i just nodded. i also think it surprised us both, as i could feel the energy shift a little bit afterward.

i know it's not a big deal, but it definitely stood out as it hasn't happened before. and i'm not sure why, but i'm surprised by the word she picked. she's now exactly twice my age (35/70), but i don't feel the younger/older dynamic as much. i think i would have preferred something a little more "loving" and a little less "parental" i guess.

anyway, it did make me feel good regardless.

Mine has called me "my dear" twice. The first time I convinced myself I misheard it, but the second time it came out clear as day. I stopped and stared at her and said "did you just say that?!" and she was like "it just came out!!" She hasn't said it since, lol. It wasn't really a problem though, I just really wasn't expecting it. It might have been a problem if it happened earlier on, though, when I still had to be in a place of denial that she had any feelings about me whatsoever.

I have been thinking about this thread this last couple of weeks.. T has started saying "Young Lady.".. Like, Ok Young Lady, you ready?" when he comes out to the waiting room to get me. There is something about it that makes me smile, but I am not sure what it is yet.

I was 5 minutes late the other day, so I guess t was off his rhythm. He was gonna ask me a question but I said, "we're up, dear" - and I thought to myself, omg I sound ancient!! I have no idea where that came from.

"Young Lady" would have infuriated me even when I was young and it would not matter who said it to me.(I am not criticizing Healed. I had a bad reaction to just reading those words - sort of amuses me how much that phrase would set me off)

I do not believe the therapist has earned the right to use a nickname or endearment to me. She does not get that privilege as it is not the position she is in to me.

To each their own, SD...

I think that is just where you are (and where you will always be with your t). I suppose, it may have bothered me a year ago. However, I have come to trust T especially after the last couple of months of talking about the hard stuff. So, I think he says stuff like that either b/c he is used to it (he has a teenage daughter) or b/c it truly is a term of endearment. Heck, the closer I come to 30 (I know, I know, I am not old yet).. the more I would like young attatched to my name.