My session was a disaster.

During my last session my t was very hard on me. She kept drilling one subject I didn't want to talk about, even though I know my behaviors are damaging to me. I asked her to please stop, and she did, but she told me that she is the doctor, and I see her to heal, so she needs to talk about areas that will help me to do so.

I was so angry when I got home, that I wrote her a long letter to share with her during our next session, later this week. It turned out that when I read the letter several days later, I realized that I do need to listen to her and change my behavior, which I am beginning to work on.

I don't know if writing down your feelings to share with your t will help, but I just wanted to share what helped me when in a similar situation.

Bluemountains

I agree that it would be really helpful for you to ask yourself why you keep shooting down all of his ideas. His helpful ideas are the reason that you go to see him. Maybe some change in that area would really benefit you.

Maybe not...

Hi Lost,
I'm so sorry today was so difficult!
This whole situation makes me think that a consultation by an outside therapist might benifit you both! It seems like you guys have been tangled up in this for so long now and nothing is being repaired. You both seem so stuck. As the therapist, it is his response to examine his own frustrations and step back from the situation to objectively look at what's going on with you and why you might be resisting his efforts to help you. Clearly he's not doing that. The fact that he genuinely can't seem to hide his frustration time after time really bothers me. It would surely triger me if this were my therapist.
Getting a consultation would be what I would do in this situation. Hope this helps, and I do hope things get better!

Apparently the worse you feel after therapy, the more you benefited from it. That's what people keep telling me anyways.

I only fight him in session. Out of session I always follow through with his suggestions and he knows that. He even said I don't know why your even fighting me so much when your going to come back to me Thursday and have got everything done like you always do. Which is true I always follow through with his suggestions.

LMW,
Chris had a lot of insight in her post. I hope you can take and put some thought into it. I can imagine your t is frustrated with you. He invests a lot of himself in to your therapy. If he isn't seeing much change (in your interpersonal communication development not what you get done outside of therapy) he may be getting demoralized.

Why do you fight him in session? What are you getting out of that behavior?

I don't mean to. I don't even realize I have until after session or unless he points it out.