My session was a disaster.

I just want to cry.

wanna talk bout it?

I'm sorry, LMW. Vent if you want.

Awwww lost..... what happened?? You and T are such a great pairing. Was it something that happened with you and T or was it the subject matter that has you so upset?

So sorry to hear your session went badly. Talk if you want- venting can make you feel so much better

Sending you safe hugs

there, there Lost... let it all out ...we will be here when your ready to talk... (((((lost))))))

I'm really sorry this one turned out so bad. I know how it feels.

I'm not sure what exactly happened this time, but I'm familiar with what you said about your last meeting. Is it possible for the two of you to just have a relaxed, chat, get to know each other more type session (or part of session) so that you can both take off some of the pressure and maybe shore up the relationship? I feel like in times of crisis, the relationship is so important but also so strained.

We know each other I've seen him 2x a week every week for a year. Maybe I will ask for a light session on Thursday. He always listens when I ask for one the night before.

Idk today's session was horrible. I guess it was my fault. We were talking about things that needed to get done and goals and for some reason I was fighting him every step of the way. Maybe because he was pushing me to make progress. Maybe I was having an off day, but I was making tons of excuses if why I couldn't get stuff done and being negative about every single thing we talked about. I've never seen him so visibly frustrated and annoyed with me in all of our time together. He finally was like lost... I don't know what to tell you, and put his hands up and just gave up on a few subjects. I guess I deserved it cause I kept backing him against the wall and fighting him. I didn't even make it to the door downstairs before I started crying. I have to say it was the worst session I ever had with him.

that really sux. Sorry Lost.
Can you figure out why you fight him so hard?

So, can you think a little about what you were talking about, re-evaluate what he said and maybe come up with some things you can do on a positive note and share them with him at your next appointment??

It's ok if you had a bad day. We all do it. What will make you feel good is if you can correct some of what happened today the next time you see him.

Hopefully, your T will figure out that his frustration might be mirroring yours so maybe you can work through that. OR your T was just frustrated himself, which is up to him to deal with his own stuff.! I hope you have a much better session next time Take care

Seeing his frustration with me is the most triggering and upsetting thing for me and I don't know why.

That would be frustrating for me as well. No one wants to see someone get frustrated with them. You really should let him know how bad it affects you.

Can you email him?

You don't have to send him a novella. Just tell him you know that you were putting up walls today and that you feel awful about it. Puff him up and pay him a compliment (you were trying so hard, you had great ideas, you are so patient, etc.), and say that you will take the session to heart and try to come up with workable goals to discuss with him at your next session. Tell him you are trying and will continue to do so.

I've had disasterous sessions too. I've never gone wrong with a short apologetic email.

Bleh I don't have the best record with email/text. I'm allowed. I have a limit, and I disregaurded it completely today, although he didn't say anything because he knew I reacted horribly to the session. I told him how upset I was, and how bad I felt and a bunch of random stuff..(he just let me ramble on and on lol) he did make a point to tell me not to be upset and he didn't hate me and to focus on our goals. I guess I was too hard on him. But hes just been showing his frustration like every session and I feel like he doesn't even try to watch himself with it anymore, and that's what hurts me the most. I just don't think he really gets how bad it hurts me.

Lost are you sure the frustration he seems to be showing is real, sometimes I used to feel like T was angry when she wasn't. Just a thought. I projected.

Yeah every single time I suspect he's frustrated I ask him if he's frustrated with me and he always says yes!! Then he tells me why. I can always tell, we've been together a long time. And like I said he doesn't hide it.

I often misread and twist things so I HAVE to make sure I ask.

Well it's a healthy frustration then, if you have that type of relationship ...then just tell him that sometimes he needs to handle you with kid gloves when it comes to his frustration.

I guess I'll bring it up on Thursday. I just don't know how to explain exactly that to him.

If he's aloud to say he's frustrated and explain why, your allowed to tell him how he expresses that frustration hurts you. Sometimes the conversation we NEED to have are NOT the easy ones. I'll pocket ride next time.

I think what you really need to look at is why you are fighting his every suggestion so hard. If you won't take any of his suggestions, what DO you want from him? Maybe you need to figure that out and share that with him.

He's been backing off on contact and pushing you to make some major changes in your life. I know you've felt a bit abandoned by his change in tactics and boundaries.

Frustration is a strong emotion. Could you be balking at his suggestions to get more strong emotion from him because any personal emotion/attention from him, even negative emotion/attention, is better than none? What would it take to get positive feedback from him that would leave you with what you really want from him which is positive emotion/attention? THAT would take allowing yourself to actually work towards some of his suggestions. Otherwise, you are just going to stay stuck, which is probably where your T's frustration is coming from right now. You are stuck and resisting change for some reason: fear? anger? hopelessness?

He can't fix this for you. At this point it is in your court and he's frustrated watching you sit on the bench refusing to get up and play the game. He knows if you'd just get up and start moving in the right direction, your life would probably improve. My T once said it is frustrating to watch someone you care about not doing what you know they need to do.

You might want to work on the triggering first.

this part chris mention often seems to be the key of the t's frustrations and sounds like it could be the case with yours?

I've had my days
and T has had hers.
perhaps he was also stressed by his other clients.
they have so much to do, when there is a caseload.

dont be too hard on yourself

It does sound like my T.

Idk I'm always his first client. :/