[girlwithbrownhair]

I know I'm a bit of an avoidant, maybe even definitely so. I do have Asperger's and general anxiety, so ahem, therapy is the way to go, they say..

But I find I just dislike therapy anymore...?? For many years, it seemed to help. I loved the relief of having my say. But now it just feels like a dissection. I leave therapy nauseated (for real) and then fail to keep other appointments.

Has this ever happened to anybody else?

My other issue is relationships. "Get fixed before you enter a relationship" the doctors say. And then they want me to practice on my relationships by having them. ?? Huh??????? that's just so contradictory. Has anybody else ever experienced that frustration too?? Thank you. (New here.)

Girlwithbrownhair,

I have despised, and warded off any therapeutical attacks on my person for years. I am an unwilling patient who has never been able to grow out of her teenage resistance to any I believe wish to take anything from me or control me my liberty. I would not be attending therapy today if it wasn't a mandatory part of my "therapeutic 'team's" goals.

If you're not getting anything out of our session at this time, and are not required to attend therapy, and of course you feel that you are mentally safe, why not consider taking a break for awhile. You may just need some space to let what you have learned up until now, digest, and then revaluate what you feel you need.

I hope that you will find the best solution for you, soon.

Free is a bird in silver cage,

-Fleeing Bellocq

[smilehopeandlive]

I said no to therapy right form the beginning, but did have an occasional talk with my pshychiatrist, venting out my anger....but now there is no need for therapy....I have been advised to keep a journal and record all my feelings.....

[Sabrina]

I consider myself to be therapy "resistant". I have had bouts of therapy over the years that were a complete waste of time and money. I sit with my arms folded tightly across my chest and don't utter a word. Hypnotherapy was a laugh, I stayed tense and resistant throughout. Now that doesn't mean that I don't agree with therapy because I do, it just isn't for me.

I enjoy therapy because I like it when people seem interested in me, even if it's feigned. And I do find it helpful to talk about and dissect certain otherwise unexplainable feelings that I have. And it's good to have these feelings validated.

But I do 'resist' in that the therapist has to work hard to get any real information out of me. A lot of my answers are "I don't know" or I might avoid giving out certain specific information because it's embarassing, etc.

I consider myself therapy resistant - even skills based forms of therapy like CBT/DBT just don't seem to click with me, i end up...bored and can't seem to attach any meaning to what is being said. I have BPD and OCD so these forms of therapy are meant to be effective and yet they just...aren't. Its not that i don't want to get better - id do anything to be able to lead my life more regularly and i also don't feel the groups were badly taught. Perhaps it really is just me. Theres no medication for BPD and ive been given antidepressants for the OCD so i guess thats as far as im gunna get?

[here today]

Are you familiar with Attwood's "discovery" criteria for Aspie?

http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index....ers&Itemid=181

My late husband was possibly schizoid. He had a lot of good qualities like those described in the article, too.

I think the current view of what healthy relationships are "supposed" to be like is. . . well, for me, not comfortable. Why not just each individual be direct and speak up for their point of view instead of expecting other people to have "empathy" for them. Who has empathy for what it's like to be Aspie? Or avoidant? Or even BPD or NPD?

[girlwithbrownhair]

Wow, thanks to all who replied. I thought I was the only one! And you people are obviously bright.

I wonder why so many of us are therapy-resistant? Have people like us ever been studied? (lol, as if we would show up for the study, even, natch!!)

[Hellion]

General therapy like CBT doesn't really seem to do me much good, its not that my intention is to be resistant the approach just never seems to help. I mean as much as I try to 'change my thinking' I still feel the same so it just gets to the point where it feels like I am paying someone to basically tell me to do the very things my mental disorders prevent me from doing so it just gets frustrating.

[Rose76]

I certainly burned out on therapy after lots of experience getting therapy. It felt nice. It was a source of attention that felt affirming. However, if I thought I was not changing from going to therapy and I said that - oh boy. Therapists can get awful defensive. That warm presence that felt so reassuring can do a 180 on you.

I understand that they have to believe in what they do . . . but I don't. I sure wouldn't ever want to tell that to a therapist again. I wouldn't ever want to go into one of those offices again. Maybe I just went so long, I exhausted what there was to get out of it.

I like that analogy of it being like a "dissection." And I would find that I came out agitated and needed to go somewhere for something to eat and a drink.

[possum220]

I have DID so I am all split up into parts inside. SO part of me wants to get better and another part is very anti. I told my T I wanted to feel instead of being numb. But being numb is how I have learned to survive this world.

Last week after I left my appointment with my T I was actually fighting within myself... the voices were outside. I was so glad no-one was around.

[Odee]

10 minutes into the session after going over my basic history, every therapist that I have seen -- including my psychiatrist -- has always pressed the issue of my biological mother to an exasperating degree. I'm 20 now and I haven't seen her since I was 13. Somehow, ALL of the mental issues, hard depressions, and anxiety, seems to be ENTIRELY because of this missing person in my life.

It's so frustrating to have everything that I feel "explained" by one detail in my life. Even more, when I try to explain that I don't like her and I felt nothing the last time I saw her and knew it was the last time, I'm treated like I'm in denial and told that I've repressed how I really felt.

I don't want to see anyone who not only simplifies my problem, but also tells me what they think I should be feeling. Shouldn't they, you know, listen to me? And not go on all this damn Freudian-cheap-***-psychology-mother ****?

[-jimi-]

I don't want therapy. Sure, it can be intoxicating to go on about myself, but it can also turn into an addiction of attention.

Also, if the therapist gives a lot of what I see as false information, lacks information they should have or say things that minimizes my issues.. or the worst... projects things on me like I feel things I don't... I don't tolerate it well. I go home and I feel like crap, like I'm about to implode. Disappear.

I had a good crisis counselor but he was a minister (long ago), and he saw things from a sort of human perspective. That helped a lot. Also he was quite humble. I've never met a therapist like that.

Three main reasons I don't do therapy... I can't take the bad with the good... I can't just tolerate someone happened to say a good thing and then a false thing, that makes me confused that the good thing might also be false??? Therapy makes me feel like I'm owned. Like do this. When I fight independently it gives me a sense of strength... like I'm an individual, like I'm autonomic, not something needing to be looked after. Also I have been mentally and verbally abused in therapy when I was younger. To a quite bad degree. When something vaguely reminds me on that, I feel like breaking down.

I can even start steaming over things said years ago. Because there were so many things said. Had severe sleep issues. Counselors advice... go to bed and sleep at 11 and wake up at 7 and you'll see how easy it is. GgrRrrRrRrrrrrrrrr.

[whatbeanbelieved]

I was quite resistant to my therapist back in October - she had a tendency to talk in absolutes (eg: "If you do this again, I'll have you committed." etc.) which just didn't work for me. I felt ashamed, claustrophobic and as though my ability to make decisions for myself was being taken away from me - or as though I was systematically surrendering myself to her and to other people. That just.... didn't work for me. I've also met therapists who prescribe medication/psychiatric consults after speaking to you for about ten minutes, which is also distressing and debilitating.

On the other hand, the lady I'm seeing now works for me - she lets me steer things, she speaks, she treats me like a human being, and that's... a good start?

EDIT: Just wanted to add this, because so many people seem to see therapy as self-indulgent, or attention-seeking... the whole point is that it's work. One looks at oneself and doesn't always like what one finds.. and sometimes, it's the difficult parts of us that are seeking expression. So I'm troubled by the idea that that therapy is self-indulgent and whatnot.

And I'm wondering, seriously, if the therapy is leading to physical nausea, then maybe you need to look at a different therapist? Maybe this person is just not working for you?

[puzzledone]

I wasn't initially resistant to therapy until the therapist and her agency required me to attend a dbt group,or they would no longer provide service to me. I told her I didn't want to do the group after working all day and she already knows I only get maybe 3 hours sleep at night and by time I get home from it it will be 9pm. And I have to pay for the $630.00 group out of my own pocket. I bought and completed dbt work books on my own. The intake worker for the group doesn't seem to care I don't want to be there and will participate as little as I have to. So yeah, I am resistant to dbt therapy. And resentful.

[KazzaX]

Ive never really been big on the therapy idea. However I have been going to therapy since I was 8 (I am 31 now). Never once have I had any improvement whatsoever. "Why do you still go?" I hear you thinking. I go because I am told to go. I go because medication does not work for me and the only other thing is therapy. I go out of desperation, because there is nothing else to try. Beggars can't be choosers! I just go really because nobody can come up with any better ideas to treat my mental illness, and therapy is the textbook thing to do. So I guess in a way, I go to therapy to keep up appearances.

[autotelica]

I resist the parts of therapy that seem like therapy. Like the relaxation exercises, EMDR, and time-traveling/story-telling. But I like my sessions. I think it is because I am in supportive therapy, whereby my therapist coaches and encourages me but does not try to "fix" me.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by girlwithbrownhair

"Get fixed before you enter a relationship" the doctors say.

Permit me to observe, this is really bad advice.

I'm not "fixed" yet, but I've been married for 25 years. If not for my wife, my life would not have been worth living.

I have been in therapy for 1.5 year's and Iam seeing am improvement but I have to work hard at it myself! I think my current t which I just finished with has helped me the most rid practises cbt I didn't know what she was doing till our last session but she is the only t that I have felt cared and I mean genuinely cared! But the others didn't work!

I've been willing to engage in therapy from the start - or at least I think I have, consciously I have - but apparently I've been resistant, and still am... even under hypnosis, T said. What's a girl to do? I'm trying...

[Anne2.0]

No T has ever used the word resistance with me and I guess part of me wonders what there is to resist? I see everything about therapy as my choice-- whether to go, who to see, when to see them, what to talk about. I feel like the power belongs to me to use therapy as I see fit, and therefore the only thing I would ever be resisting in therapy is myself.