Couch 19

Oct 08, 2012, 11:24 AM

Just a question....You know it amazes me how many of you still stay in contact with your bad parent or parents. Why is that? Am I just designed wrong? Some of you had it way worse then me and I cant believe you still stay in contact with the bad parent. This is a serious question BTW.

Oct 08, 2012, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

Yeah, I don't think I'm indifferent. I am sort of sad. Maybe. Now I'm mad that I don't know how I'm feeling or how to describe it. So, I will stick with mad because at least I understand it.

And yeah, my mother is not reacting well and that is causing me the larger issues. Thanks for getting that, Lola.

It's all about HER and just thinking about her reactions has my heart hammering in my chest. My dad was my aunt's power of attorney. His name was on her bank accounts so he could pay bills for her. My mom thinks that because my dad is dead, that means my mother now gets my aunt's bank accounts, and is all disappointed when I told her that was not how it worked. She somehow felt entitled even though my aunt has two sons. AND it was obvious she was calling to get that legal advice and not because she cares whether or not I know that my aunt is dead.

Anger is a mask for sadness, but I totally get this. I am sorry your mother appears to be using you to check on a potential financial windfall for her. Piece o work.... I swear shes related to my mom.

Don't let your mother get you upset, I too would find my mothers reaction in this same situation as selfish, but it has nothing to do with you, nor is it a reflection of you. Did her disappointment upset you? I'm a B I T C H when it comes to my mom and would have been happy to deliver a fat NO on that questions. I know I'm evil.

pbutton · Oct 08, 2012, 11:30 AM

I often wonder that too Lola. (In general about people here.) I often imagine how nice my life would be without my family. It makes me feel like I'm the evil one.

healed84 · Oct 08, 2012, 11:33 AM

Sorry to hear about your loss MKAC...

We are on our way home from apple picking... It was fun and we took a lot of pics... Oh and we have tons of apples!

GL to those who have t and pdoc appointments.

granite1 · Oct 08, 2012, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

Just a question....You know it amazes me how many of you still stay in contact with your bad parent or parents. Why is that? Am I just designed wrong? Some of you had it way worse then me and I cant believe you still stay in contact with the bad parent. This is a serious question BTW.

i got back in touch with my family when i had my son i wanted him to have a family other then just me.they treated him fine and with the exception of my Fathers side they still do. i guess i also had some hope that the mother would be able to be different as she and i got older.but not sure about that.i guess i hold onto that hope of having a mother.i think that is strange because i could never ever accept any mothering from her i cringe when she touches me even in kindness and attempting to support

critterlady · Oct 08, 2012, 11:35 AM

Off to new pdoc. I'm shaking. Pocket riders welcome! (I've stocked my pockets with snacks)

Oct 08, 2012, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pbutton

I often wonder that too Lola. (In general about people here.) I often imagine how nice my life would be without my family. It makes me feel like I'm the evil one.

I go out of my way to avoid them, honestly....it makes me feel bad on some levels....with the whole "honor thy mother and father, thing" but, seriously why? I talk to my dad maybe 1 time a year, if I go home to visit my grandmother. I never talk to my mother and I don't take her calls, she is on my FB but that's only so I can find out if she is ill or dying. Is there any positive that comes from it? Does it outweigh the negative?

Oct 08, 2012, 11:36 AM

I'm in Critter. ( don't tell Pdoc...LOL) Remember shirt color and design....

healed84 · Oct 08, 2012, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

Just a question....You know it amazes me how many of you still stay in contact with your bad parent or parents. Why is that? Am I just designed wrong? Some of you had it way worse then me and I cant believe you still stay in contact with the bad parent. This is a serious question BTW.

I do ( just recently and limitedly) with my dad. I do it and have strict boundaries on our relationship... That makes me feel safe.

pbutton · Oct 08, 2012, 11:39 AM

I think that the difference is that I have no hope that my family will change. Not a single bit of hope. My sister does though & she is constantly disappointed.

Oct 08, 2012, 11:39 AM

Hope..... I think that you hit on something there Granite. Maybe I'm too much of a realist for the hope that the leopards will change his/her spots.

Sorry Pbutton, we cross posted and I too have a few siblings that buy into the hope....and I'm the one they come crying too when it gets shattered, again and again.... frustrating.

Oct 08, 2012, 11:50 AM

Ill start a thread..... carry on LOL

granite1 · Oct 08, 2012, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pbutton

I think that the difference is that I have no hope that my family will change. Not a single bit of hope. My sister does though & she is constantly disappointed.

i think i am one who is continually disappointed

Oct 08, 2012, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by granite1

i think i am one who is continually disappointed

Its smart of you to realize and something you can work on in T. Some people will spend their whole lives trying to get blood from a turnip.

granite1 · Oct 08, 2012, 12:35 PM

not so sure about this either lola lol i know all this and still am trying to get blood from a turnip and even if i get that blood i still reject it lol totally messed up

Oct 08, 2012, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by granite1

not so sure about this either lola lol i know all this and still am trying to get blood from a turnip and even if i get that blood i still reject it lol totally messed up

I suspect you don't know how to accept love, example T not to mention the bad mother. I'm the same way, hell I can't even take a compliment. If you were raised without love, it stands to reason no knowing what to do with it when it is given.

Oct 08, 2012, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

Just a question....You know it amazes me how many of you still stay in contact with your bad parent or parents. Why is that? Am I just designed wrong? Some of you had it way worse then me and I cant believe you still stay in contact with the bad parent. This is a serious question BTW.

She lives next door to me. She calls me. I am not comfortable just hanging up on her or refusing to talk to her. I have stopped cooperating when she asks for help. She asked me to go the store or run other errands for her, and I tell her that she has made her choice and to have my younger sister do it for her. So, I am slowly drawing lines, but just keep hoping that her mental illness will go into remission again and . . . I don't know.

Oct 08, 2012, 12:58 PM

Well I can see where a diagnosed mental illness would be a reason to maintain contact if in fact they acknowledged it and were working on it, ie... meds therapy etc.

My mother is just a narcissistic POS. LOL

Oct 08, 2012, 01:13 PM

Yeah, it's not diagnosed, except by me. LOL. Narcissistic POS addict, maybe borderline. The problem for me, and just walking away, is that we had about 14 years where she was really pretty good. She was great to my children, held pretty good boundaries (after we had pretty intense fights about them, but still . . .) and was generally sort of like a mother. When my younger sister and her family moved in with my parents, my mother just relapsed completely and totally into a complete lack of boundaries or care for any human other than herself and my little sister. Even my little sister's kids appear to exist only to wait on my mother. Anyway. I should not be griping and being a total downer here. Sorry guys.

Oct 08, 2012, 01:27 PM

Mines an addict too.. sorry about that. So for you I can see, if she was good once ...thinking that may come back. My has always sucked and never deviated from that fact. LOL I'm sorry MKAC

Oct 08, 2012, 02:04 PM

Hell everyone. Won't be able to read and catch up until later but just wanted to drop a little hello. Hugs.

Oct 08, 2012, 02:10 PM

Hey Jersey....hope your day is well!

healed84 · Oct 08, 2012, 02:13 PM

Hi TTGB!

granite1 · Oct 08, 2012, 02:24 PM

hi JG back at ya

CantExplain · Oct 08, 2012, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by critterlady

I have T this morning and then I see the pdoc for the first time this afternoon. I'd really rather just skip today. Anyone have an in with Superman, to convince him to fly around the world fast enough to jump forward a day?

Cryogenics is a better solution.

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