Help! :(

I think you are a teenager and I'm not sure what I have to say will be helpful to you.

But I think that it is not possible for a T to always be there as you are expecting. The only time a T for sure has for you is during your sessions that are scheduled. If you need her outside of session, you have to give her time to be able to get back to you, whether it's by email or text or phone. And lots of people who are not teenagers don't really "do" text and email for emotional content, so it's very likely that we middle aged people will "sound" cold via these technological devices because we use them strictly for informational purposes, not for emotional ones. And I don't think that therapy via email or text is likely to be very effective, or at least I haven't seen any research that suggests that it is. Many of us middle aged people just don't do anything well via text or email, so it's unlikely that your T can truly be helpful outside of session in the way you might want her to be.

I think there is also another way to see her perspective that she thinks you have control over whatever it going on with you. Part of that is as you mature you realize how Much Power You Have to change your life and with it, the distress that comes from emotional and social dysfunction. But one has to learn how to harness and access and channel her power, and that is something your T can help you with. She is not saying that you are to blame for feeling overwhelmed or any other negative emotion, or that you can just magically choose to feel differently. She is trying to empower you to use the strengths that you have to learn to tolerate uncomfortable emotions, to gain enough perspective on them so that you can feel safe that you can get to the other side, and otherwise have some sense that there is life beyond the stuff that rattles around in your head.

I am 15. So yes I live with them. Much to my dismay. They aren't really "in" this. They have their own issues. I have two younger sisters. One is going through puberty. The other is bipolar and has all her own stuff. My parents don't really have enough energy for me. And I don't want them anyway. We aren't on good terns... I live with them but I barely talk to them... I just steer clear.

((((Miswimmy))) I just saw this thread. I tend to lurk on pages because I'm not really sure how to respond, or that my words will be helpful. But I wanted to tell you that I definitely get where you're coming from. Being triggered like that is so difficult if you don't have your T there to help you through it. I think you said earlier that swimming isn't an option for you right now to calm you down. Is there any other calming activity you can do in the meantime? At least to distract you until you see your T again?

i did end up going swimming. although not with my team. i dont know if that would have made things worse or better, seeing them all. im sure they would be worried about me. i went to workout by myself. and got out feeling a bit better.

now i am surfing PC and hanging out until bedtime. and i see t in the morning.

Good job finding a way to help yourself feel better.

(((((Mis)))))
I hope you are feeling better! I wish I could tell you something that would make you feel better, but I know that what you are experiencing is on a traumatic, emotional level. So, I accept you and your emotions for who you are right now. I think you are doing everything you can at this moment and I am proud of you. I want to acknowledge the needy part of you and say to her that I am sorry that she is in so much pain from being neglected. It makes complete sense to me that you would cling to your therapist, as you are trying to trust her now and you need to know that she is still there for you in the same capacity as yesterday, last month, etc. It is not your fault that you are having difficulty trusting I am impressed at how you are trying to handle all of your difficult emotions while your T feels unempathic to you. I know how difficult this is, and I know you will make it through this. You can PM me, lean on me anytime. I am here for you. You can feel anyway you want and express it, and I will still be here. I hope you are doing better now. Thinking about you and sending you positive vibes.

Hi Misswimmy,
I've been following this whole thread, and a lot of your others. I'm sorry you're going through all this right now. I can empathize with what it's like to be your age in a very difficult family situation and not having support from them or many others to deal with strong emotional issues. I was in that place at 15, and to an extent my sister is as well.
I think you have a really good t. She seems very loving and like she does care from what you've written in the past. It does concern me that in this thread you said that she "backs off" when she sees you start to get upset, and then switches the subject. I know that with my former t, some of the best work was when she saw me upset, acknowledged it and got me to talk about what was going on! This was something I absolutely wouldn't have done had she not pushed it out of me in a loving way!
I understand what others have said about her not being able to be there for you through text and e-mail right when you need her between sessions. I really do think that this is something you two should talk about and make plans on, what you do when stuff like this happens. I understand too about the not going to school thing, especially if it has to do with your OCD, which you said was triggered by her comment.
But it really does worry me about her not addressing stuff in the moment in session, and not teaching you ways to deal with what's come up, or at the least using the relationship to help you calm down. Like helping you feel close enough to her in those moments to open up and have her be there for you, so you could have a model of someone doing that for once. I think too that you might benifit from talking with her about this, and clearly saying that you feel abandoned in those moments when you're upset and she backs off.
Sorry this is so long! I wish there was more I could say or do to help. Please keep posting.

I am really sorry it was such a difficult, awful day. I know how frustrating it is when T isnt there when we need them, thats so tough even if you can rationaliZe that they need time away or that they may be busy with their own problems right then, etc. I really hope you get to feeling better.

Thank you all for helping me get through yesterday. It was a TOUGH day, and I can now say that I have made it out the other end... alive. lol. I dont know what i would do without you all! xxx

Miswimmy1

I am so happy you are feeling better.����������

Well said!

I am so glad you are doing better. I did not really know what to say yesterday, so I said nothing. But know you were in my thoughts.

A fine achievement and one to remember...that bad feelings WILL pass, that you CAN deal with them.