In therapy we talked about how I've stopped doing a lot of stuff because I don't feel like it anymore... its not just luxury or fun things... its real life stuff..like cleaning, grocery shopping, paying bills, etc...

My T refers to it as depression...I will only admit to not "feeling like it". Either way...We've talked about not letting feelings control actions. So now I'm thinking about how to get myself to do the things I need to do when I don't have any desire to do... to just do it anyway...

Anyone else successful at doing this? So I thought about a schedule? Maybe just tell myself I have to do what is on the schedule. So I was going to make up a schedule..but I was going to do this in small steps...add more stuff every week...

I am sort of a perfectionist...with an all or nothing tendency...if I cant do it perfect...I don't do it.. I also work full time so I have to be reasonable with this change. I will not get my house perfect in a short period of time. I was raised in chaos so I don't know what is normal either... So to get me started... what do you all do as normal daily cleaning? like what do you make sure you do every night before you go to bed?

The only thing that I do that may help, is I tell myself after I do my chores, I can do something fun... I reward myself. Id start setting small goals and as you reach them , slowly add more.

I think a few people on here had the same type of question and someone told them that everyone could do anything for 10 minutes.

So...start with easy chores at night time. Make sure dishes are done and or put away. Just wipe the counter tops with a wet rag before bed or just pick a room and dust the room for 10 minutes. If you want to make a schedule then start with doing one room a night.

Ever since I had those cleaners come..I forced myself onto a rotating schedule to ensure I don't have to call them again anytime soon. So, for instance every night when I come home from work, I don't let myself sit. I take off my jacket and hang it up. (Not just throw it over a chair) and I get the feather duster or the swiffer dusters and just quickly go over my living room (takes me 10 minutes top) I wet dust once a week. Then I move onto the bathrooms and just get the Clorox clean up and wipe down the sink and toilet and rinse out the shower/tub quickly. I do those things daily. 1 time a week I scrub them hard. Then every 2 days I vacuum the house. I wash the bathroom floors 2 to 3 days a week with just the swiffer wet pads (just do a once over) and wash my pergo floors once a week). These things keep the house clean enough where by the time the weekend comes I spend maybe an hour total just going over everything on Saturday or Sunday morning instead of spending hours deep cleaning.

[~EnlightenMe~]

Ready,
I can SO relate. I have stopped doing everything to the point that I don't know if I will ever return. Work is stressful, so that is difficult enough to alone. I have lost myself, and at times don't care if I find myself or not.

Also, can anyone relate to being so distracted that you can't finish anything? Like laundry? I can start my laundry, but it rarely gets finished because I forget it is there until I need something. Ugh

Thanks for your post.

I like the ten minute rule. I read a really good book on Depression a long time ago, and it was written by a person who deals with depression (Undoing Depression). If I remember, he talks about how doing something when we don't feel like it is the way out of depression. So, if we start at 10 minutes and then up the time as we can tolerate it, maybe that will help?

It almost would be nice if we could post our goals, like will clean for 10 minutes today, could even be a start. IDK.

[skeksi]

I have this problem, too. It's narrowly focused in my home--I can't seem to clean my house, pay my bills, etc. even though I am on the ball at work. I think the 10-minute suggestion is fabulous; you can really make a dent in a chore in 10 minutes! Often I just need something to push me to get started and then I can work even longer.

There's a website I like called unf**k your habitat that tells you things you can do in jut 15-20 minutes to clean your place and make it more habitable.

[murray]

I can so relate to this. Sadly I have no advice because I am in the midst of battling it myself.

[elliemay]

Yeah, I do have some of the same problems. I know it's not pretty, I know it's not nice, but what I've discovered for me is that these lapses are just a lack of discipline.

There are things in this world that we just simply have to do - even if we don't feel like it. We just have to get up and do them - depression or not.

I know I used to to be the queen of avoidance. It's a luxury really. It's hiding and, for me, a bit of laziness thrown in.

This is life. It doesn't stop because we feel poorly. Rise up and meet it. There will be time to feel like crap later.

Now, there are thing you must do in order to live, and keep things from getting worse.

Again, there is always time to feel like crap.

[SallyBrown]

What Jersey suggested is a great example of how to get yourself to do stuff. Just make a schedule of stuff you need to do, and tell yourself you only need to spend 10 minutes at a time on each. When I'm depressed, I tend to procrastinate on weird things, like paying bills, too. And it's not that hard, and I KNOW it's not hard, but somehow it feels impossible. So, I don't let myself sit down or turn on my computer when I get home. Sometimes one day will be "taking care of all the bills" day, which doesn't really take that long. I don't know what your grocery situation is -- I happen to work close to a supermarket, and it's an easy stop on the way home -- but you can always make small trips frequently instead of overwhelming yourself with one big trip.

Basically, as others have said, set very reasonable, totally doable goals -- and for me it REALLY helps to schedule it. Somehow saying, "I have to do my laundry at 2pm on Saturday" makes it easier for me to do it. That also includes scheduling screw-around time, which, as Lola mentioned, can be a good reward.

[granite1]

ready i know that doing these things can be completely overwhelming especially if you have a full time job. i quit mine because i couldn't handle it.

i have my husband to remind me to do things .it was funny because he once left me a honey do list.it said
get up
take a shower (pew)
get dressed
do dishes.

it is funny but i had realized i had not taken a shower in 2 days lol

now i try and at least to the dishes.my husband will also give me a few chores for the week also like laundry one day, go out and get this one day and things like that to keep me from sitting on the couch or sleeping .being in my craft room is OK as long as i am not just in there sitting on the floor being miserable.

maybe for you it could start by doing dishes every day.and have one chore a week to get done.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

My T refers to it as depression...I will only admit to not "feeling like it". Either way...We've talked about not letting feelings control actions. So now I'm thinking about how to get myself to do the things I need to do when I don't have any desire to do... to just do it anyway...

Anyone else successful at doing this? So I thought about a schedule? Maybe just tell myself I have to do what is on the schedule. So I was going to make up a schedule..but I was going to do this in small steps...add more stuff every week...

I have lived like this, and it did get me through. But it's the life of a zombie or a robot.

[Ike McCaslin]

If it weren't for my wife, I would live in a pig stye. So I am unable to offer personal advice. I will add an anecdote about my old college roommate, let's call him Junior. One Saturday I arrive at Junior's house for a get together of old college friends and let myself in using his garage code. After stowing my gear and looking around the living room, I noticed his Saturday to-do-list. He had listed 8 activities, estimated the amount of time to do each, ranked them in priority from 1 to 8 and had crossed through them as(I assume) he got them done. It was 11AM and he had finished 7 of the eight. I think this is why he has a Ferrari and Porsche in his yard and I drive a Ford. Type A, organized. driven. Everything I'm not.

[stopdog]

When I am depressed badly, I make myself do just one thing a day. Teach my class or pay the bills or meet someone for lunch or exercise (which is the best for me because at least for the time I am on the bike outside or elliptical inside I do feel better). It is not fun or anything other than a struggle but it does work for me.

Originally Posted by Antimatter

It almost would be nice if we could post our goals, like will clean for 10 minutes today, could even be a start. IDK.

I thought maybe I would list my goals/accomplishments in the Daily Roll Call thread in the forum...maybe it would make me feel good even if its just small stuff.

I've been working on big procrastination projects too... something else maybe to post about as a way to encourage me to do them...

[feralkittymom]

I know depression, but somehow I never had the problem of the daily living stuff. I would feel overwhelmed by the bigger stuff that required decision making, and the communicative stuff--like making phone calls--, but the mechanical tasks weren't a problem. I do remember being surprised when T told me that "feeling doesn't motivate action; action motivates feeling." So the waiting until feeling like doing something won't work.

I used to trick myself by saying--like with exercise--I'll just get on the stepper for the time of the TV commercial, then I'll stop. And that worked for me.

[sunrise]

My house is very disorganized and I worry that one day I might become a person featured on Hoarders. I have a hard time putting things away each day and not letting new piles of stuff accumulate. I also have a hard time doing the standard chores regularly.

At times I have used the 10 minute strategy and it is helpful. I have a timer that I set for 10-15 minutes and it is the kind that you hear ticking, and somehow this is helpful. I think the noise of the ticks helps remind me to stay on task. Otherwise I might get distracted and accidentally switch to doing something else. It can also be rewarding when the constant ticks end in a "brrrrrring."

I got bored with the 10 minute strategy, though, and am doing something else now. I think of the housework as like sets of weight-training repetitions and I do sets of 20. So for example, I will wash 20 dishes or I will load 20 items into dishwasher, or put 20 items around the house away (or mix and match). I count up in my head 1... 2... 3.... When I reach 20, it again is the reward. If I feel up to it I do another set of 20. Last night I did about 7 sets of 20 and got the house straightened up quite well. Sometimes I just do one set of 20. Anyway, this new "sets of 20" strategy is working well for me at present.

I have a problem with procrastination and I just read somewhere that to help with this, do your most procrastinated task very first in the day. Then it is out of the way and actually a big accomplishment to get the most critical thing done. I haven't started this yet, but I have hopes.... Sometimes it seems I could do 1000 sets of 20 and still manage not to do the most critical items! Arrrghhh.

Good luck.

RTS- Also, there is a thread in the self help idea's and goal setting category labeled housekeeping/chores that people responded to. There might be some additional helpful tips there for you.

[skeksi]

Originally Posted by sunrise

I just read somewhere that to help with this, do your most procrastinated task very first in the day. Then it is out of the way and actually a big accomplishment to get the most critical thing done.

I do this on the weekends and I am amazed at how much I can get accomplished in an hour or two!

[Sannah]

Taking care of your environment can improve your mood. It can be depressing to be in an environment that is not being cared for.

I am not an over cleaner. Once a week I wet dust the furniture and swiffer the whole wood floor and wet wipe up the high traffic areas. I clean the sinks as needed (up to 2x week) and the toilets as needed (once week). The dishes are kept done and the countertops get wiped daily. We cook a lot and the cabinets need to be wiped down it seems every week or 2. Sweep kitchen at least every other day if not daily. I hate to clean the shower but I don't let it look dirty.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Sannah

I am not an over cleaner. Once a week I wet dust the furniture and swiffer the whole wood floor and wet wipe up the high traffic areas. I clean the sinks as needed (up to 2x week) and the toilets as needed (once week). The dishes are kept done and the countertops get wiped daily. We cook a lot and the cabinets need to be wiped down it seems every week or 2. Sweep kitchen at least every other day if not daily. I hate to clean the shower but I don't let it look dirty.

Sannah you have a good system. I laugh though at your "over cleaner" comment, because compared to me, you are definitely an over cleaner! Maybe I can aspire to your level of cleaning.