Couch number 33!!!!!

Why not put up post its that say WWW.craigslist.com for a job?

Just curious: how many times do you guys attempt to give someone information before you give up?

Also, how many times are you willing to praise someone for the exact same thing before you expect that they will just DO what they need to do BECAUSE they need to it, without positive strokes?

I never give up.
In regards to praise, as with me W...nothing will "train" her, I always have to pat her head and give her a scooby snack for the desired behavior.

I think it depends on who it is and what you want. I think there will come a point when you get tired of it and just throw your hands up and say you gave it all you got and now its whatever.

As far as the whole positive reinforcement thing, I think certain people just go their whole lives needing that. For some reason or another. However, I don't praise for things that NEED to be done. Like for example, if H does look on Craigslist..I'm not gonna pat him on the head. We need money and he needs to man up.

About dreams, my T says that much of the things in the dream represent parts of ourselves. He usually asks me to pick one object in the dream, whether it's an animate or inanimate object - and give it a voice, determine what it's feeling, etc. It turns into quite an exploration.

I had a recurring dream from when I was a child of leading a group of people through the wilderness during a heavy snow storm...and finding shelter in a cave. Making soup in the cave and having a side room that was sunny (weird, huh?) and filled with vegetable plants. I chose to focus on a tomato plant, and the things that came from it were very interesting.

Anyhoo....Back from the neurologist office. I was in so much pain when I got there that the wait in the waiting room for 45 minutes was torture. As soon as I got into the room with the dr, I was in tears - feeling hopeless and in agonizing pain. God bless that man, he took out all of the Botox he had on hand ($2000 worth) and injected it into about 15 different places in my neck and base of my skull.

He said that when I get back on my feet, I can pay him back a little bit of it, even if it's just $10 every now and then. I love that man. He also gave me 6 free sample packs of Relpax for migraines. Only 1 pill in a pack, but heck, it's free and I'll take it!

I asked him about the surgery I read about that helps people with migraines who do well with botox treatments, and he was totally against it. He explained what was involved in the surgery (pretty extensive stuff that affects the brain) and that he assisted a surgeon in that exact procedure with a patient - and the patient ended up dying from complications caused by the surgery. Worst part is that the patient was his pastor. He said it's a very dangerous procedure. So, that's off the table.

All in all, a successful appointment. I am so grateful. It will take a couple weeks before I see any improvement from the botox.

I have my unemployment hearing in an hour.....I'm so nervous. Wish me luck!

Goo luck MUE,

My xT didn't ever mention the words "skills" but my current T...when i talked about the feeling of wanting to run when I felt anyone was getting too "emotionally" close ...she said we can work on skills to learn to deal with/tolerate those feelings...

My xT did Psychdynamic but he always started with problems of today and then looked back to the past to see what may have caused me to feel that way....

My current T is CBT/eclectic and she approaches it the same way but we work way more on changing the current than grieving the past although she says that is the start... (my xT made it sound like that was all there was)

Last week I sat in group T with skill sets being taught and found that more helpful them rehashing old stories about a jacked up childhood. I just want answers, no pain necessary, just easy ways to circumvent the current thought process ya know... T today should be interesting.

How was T when he heard about last week? If that topic is off the table to discuss...i understand

Just whatever, no one has ever made a big deal of it. I actually think he minimized it. I was prepared to take STD and go to a day program and he told me to get back to work. Last week did nothing but put me exactly where I was and make one friend upset, other then that its status quo around here.

I'm an open book

My T was very helpful to get me to realize that my feelings lie to me and how sometimes the feelings are like a knee jerk reaction to a trigger from the past (we often don't talk about what the trigger is...sometimes I will talk about it) but she helped me to realize what the possible ways of handling those feelings are... and even if i can't handle it in the moment... she likes me to go back through it and realize what I could have said to myself... she says it takes practice and training to "circumvent the current thought process"

I think this is a dangerous attitude. You do need skills to deal in the here and now, but you also need to address these things, I think, to actually get well. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it is hard. And YES, it hurts like hell, but it NEEDS to happen. [sorry, but that is my strong opinion, and I will leave it alone after this.]

You need a new T. He's a jackass and needs to get his head out of his ***.

I think (at least I hope) that looking at the past for causes of current negative feelings and maladaptive behaviors helps to decrease them over time. Learning skills to manage them when they occur is very useful, but they're still occurring. For me, it's good to have both - ways of coping with them when they occur, but also looking at how they came to be and recognizing when I'm reacting to the present as if it's the past.

It's difficult and painful to review the traumas of my childhood. But just in the year I've been with this T, I've come to understand my behaviors (ok, foibles) much better. I'm starting to recognize the patterns and that's the first step for me in changing them.

Part of it is how we frame it for ourselves, too. At my last session, I told T about a meltdown I'd had a couple of days before. Things just got to me and i was feeling sorry for myself. We talked about things for a while and then he said, "I don't think you were feeling sorry for yourself. I think you were feeling empathy for yourself." Just that semantic re-framing made a big difference in how I felt about it. Now, if I could only do that reframing for myself, I'd be all set.

So you didn't talk about it in session?

I guess I could understand that a T might want to handle it like a client would handle it like if a client minimized it than he would too...

personally I think my xT would have been pissed as h ell ... because we had an agreement...

Thanks MKAC - I always take your advice to heart including a strong opinion.
I have discuss things to the point of nauseousness, I just don't know what to do after that. It's like I go in with a monologue and come out with nothing. He said we need to refocus our approach.

We did a little. We basically covered the 'now what should we do' thing, in regards to treatment and work. I think he is convinced that I am filled with unresolved stuff ( thanks Dr. Obvious ) and although I'm not denying that ,I think something else is wrong too. Like a disorder or something. I can't even tell him how I feel half the time. I saw a feelings chart for the first time last week, that's really helpful. I told him maybe I need remedial therapy.

Anyway, I don't want to take up couch space talking about this as it can be triggering. Thanks RTS

That sounds positive...

Sorry Lola... I wasn't thinking...

Hey guys. I have T tonight...whee. Urgh. Just going to sit over here and distract myself for a little while. Don't really want to think about it but I also hate going in unprepared.

Well good luck Sila, I am sure you will find something to discuss.

No - I do not. But I don't want that from therapy and would reject any attempt by the therapist to spend my time and money on the therapist wasting my time on something I don't particularly need. Info on coping is not my particular area of need.

I don't think dreams are literal. I have never dreamed about my mother's actual death (I do have recurring nightmares where she calls out to me to save her from something huge, like a volcano-but I can't reach her in time that have been going on since before she died). In fact in my dreams, she is still alive.

I don't believe in a god.

It depends upon the person. I will attempt to give the info if they keep asking, but if they are not asking, I generally stop. I will not praise people for the exact same thing. I rarely praise at all. I do not believe people should expect praise from others. If they need to do something and don't do it, it is their problem, not mine. (I am assuming we are talking about adults). Plus I am not particularly motivated by praise myself, so I don't usually think of it for others or see in most situations it would be useful.

Dude. Seriously.
edit - perhaps this is because I do not believe they have answers for me specifically and pain is going to happen to us no matter what. I want them to explain info on what the brain part or feeling part is supposed to be doing that will be useful to the reason I sought them out so I can go try and see if it will work for me.

Called the unemployment appeals office....and am now waiting for the appeals examiner to call me back for my telephone hearing. I am totally freaking out. I am tempted to take a klonopin - but I'm not sure that would be a good idea. I'm already very groggy from the meds I took earlier (pain med, klonopin, nausea med) and the botox treatment.....

I just want to get this call over with. The worst that can happen is that they deny my request. So, why am I so dang scared?

Waiting SUCKS! I hope it works out in your favor.