Today was a very lighthearted session. We sat and talked about, work, life and stayed clear of all the things that upset and trigger me. T asked me what had happened since last time I seen her, nothing I said only the same things that always happen, like work.

I wonder sometimes what t expects to happen in a week. My last T told me I wasn't making any progress because nothing different was happening in my life, she wanted me to change something every week. T has never asked me this and I wonder if she is wondering the same thing and will it only be a matter of time before she terminates me too.

We talked about my plans for the future, I can't see into the future at the moment because its too far away and right now, everything is black. T said it can be close and we can change the colour of it too.

I was telling t that I used to paint and am very creative so next week I have to paint a picture for her so we can work on it. I am looking forward to this as I have had a creative block lately.
I don't really see any progress in my life, only how I react to things differently. I don't get upset over things people say to me anymore.

I am not sure t is helping me anymore, I am not sure therapy is helping me. I feel frustrated with my situation right now and I think therapy is keeping me stuck here in the bad place right now.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by button30

I don't really see any progress in my life, only how I react to things differently. I don't get upset over things people say to me anymore.

But that's exactly the progress you should expect! You've actually done very well.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by button30

I was telling t that I used to paint and am very creative so next week I have to paint a picture for her so we can work on it. I am looking forward to this as I have had a creative block lately.
I don't really see any progress in my life, only how I react to things differently. I don't get upset over things people say to me anymore.

I am not sure t is helping me anymore, I am not sure therapy is helping me. I feel frustrated with my situation right now and I think therapy is keeping me stuck here in the bad place right now.

If you are anything like me, getting back into painting is going to help you a lot!! For a long time my T had been asking if I'm drawing or painting and I said I like writing better. But she kept encouraging me. Finally, I listened to her, and it's such a great distraction/hobby for me! She wanted me to paint every day but I can't do that yet. When I paint, I'm in another world. My T calls it "flow". It's pure mindfulness, and calming except when I'm frustrated with my drawing. Water colors are more relaxing.

So, do it!! Just start painting and let me know how it goes!

[shlump]

It is possible that in some small way therapy may keep us in the bad place sometimes. I've found that I spend a little too much time in my own head when therapy is tough for a while.

Part of T's goal is to help us get more joy out of life. Painting may be an excellent activity. Painting out the pain can provide relief. Painting in some beauty can bring some relief.

The creative process should help.

I like to paint as well and maybe I will be abler to this evening...

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by shlump

It is possible that in some small way therapy may keep us in the bad place sometimes.

The prisoner does not really see the walls - until he decides to escape.

[Wren_]

button, i hope you read back over what you wrote ... as cantexplain pointed out you shared some of the progress you are making along with saying you aren't making any i know sometimes we expect and T expects (or at least hopes because they want things better for us) the big changes, the ones that jump out and shout PROGRESS! but it's all the little ones on the way that are the truer changes and why therapy helps even when we can't see it at the time. In the short term it feels frustrating (at least that's been my experience) but you are changing little by little it's just that it's from the inside out rather than on the outside in where we usually look for change.
That's exciting with the painting

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by button30

Today was a very lighthearted session. We ... stayed clear of all the things that upset and trigger me.

I can't see into the future at the moment because its too far away and

right now, everything is black.

I don't really see any progress in my life, only how I react to things differently. I don't get upset over things people say to me anymore.

I am not sure t is helping me anymore, I am not sure therapy is helping me. I feel frustrated with my situation right now and I think therapy is keeping me stuck here in the bad place right now.

I see you as taking a well deserved breather. You have been struggling to keep your head above water and you just succeeded and now you need to rest for a bit and re-equillibrate to your new "place"?

[~EnlightenMe~]

Like others have said, it sounds like you have made progress although you may not see it. I am glad to hear that you will be painting! That sounds like a good creative outlet.