digging nails into skin/scratching during therapy

Hi. I'm new here.

I do something really embarrasing in therapy sessions. Sometimes, when I get really nervous or upset, I will scratch/pinch my arms or knees. Sometimes I have bled. It is an immediate reaction, so generally I do not realize I am doing it, and when I do realize, I just can't stop. I know my therapist can see it, but she doesn't say anyhting (which is good, because it would make me nervous). She knows I sh out of therapy and she was really nice about it and told me that now it's helping me cope, so it's okay

I was wondering if the sh in therapy is a normal thing? Do other people do that in therapy sessions? Does your therapist say anything? Should I say something about it? I get really nervous (shake (sometimes violently) and fidget during therapy)

I also shake at the appointments and sometimes my teeth chatter. At appointments, I have bitten so hard on my cheeks that they bleed and I sometimes press on bruises to stay grounded or focused. The one I see does not comment if she notices, although I doubt it would be visible to her.

I scratch my hands when I'm nervous -- I have hand eczema (and elsewhere on my body, but my hands take the biggest beating). You can tell when I am extremely stressed because my hands are bandaged up. I've gouged myself rather badly, not realizing until I notice all the blood under my nails. You're not alone!

I have talked to T about it a little, but mostly if I notice it I will sit on my hands, which I often have to do in other stressful situations, like when I am making small talk with a stranger. My H will tell me when I'm doing it, and at tough times I have asked close friends to also alert me if I start scratching in front of them. Perhaps you could do the same with T? It's one way to open up the topic. "Hey, I am scratching myself up pretty bad; can you help me by bringing it to my attention when I start doing it?". I am considering doing something similar with my T.

Good luck!

I dig my nails in hard sometimes to keep myself focused on that rather than anything else. I do it in a way that can't be noticed and I am aware that I'm doing it. I do it at the dentists sometimes too. It's not something I do often, in fact, I actually think only once or twice in therapy. Once was during my last session. I was worried that I was going to make myself bleed and make it obvious, but I had to work really hard to keep my attention on that and not panic even more about what was happening during my session. I almost never do anything outside of sessions either. Just occasionally, like that.

I have started shaking lately too. Well, during my last session was actually my first time shaking while I was there, and I also shake now when I think about going back. I don't think it's to the point that it's noticeable to other people, but I'm not sure. It's not in a normal hand tremor because I'm nervous sort of way either. It's more like the inside of me is shaking and a bit of it radiates out. I feel disconnected from it and like it happens when I'm blocking something really big.

I used to do this in my sessions too. My to would hold my hands to get me to calm down and stop usually.

I pick at my nail beds and cuticles, my nail polish, or grab whatever thing is in my peripherals that looks fiddle-able (she has silly putty and stress balls but I always go for the piece of string hanging off my pants!? They're probably covered in child mucus anyway). In the summer when I wore shorts, I would fret the skin on my thighs and make scratches without even realizing it. T did, however, notice the behavior and asked me to stop. It's anxiety related for me and the compulsion to do something hand-focused. I'm also very "tic-y" and bouncy when I'm stressed out.

Your scratching sounds normal, given your predisposition to sh. You could ask your therapist if she has any fidgets ie. tactile porcupine balls, silly putty, play-doh, whatever. Something to distract your hands from self-destructive behaviors. Next time you find yourself doing it, bring it to her attention. It certainly won't hurt to discuss it.

I too shake a lot and scratch at my arms but like Starry Night my t holds my hands or arms to stop me. I have also done it as a form of sh at home and have scars from it so she tends to encourage me to use a different way to express myself. If I'm not doing it too bad she will try and ignore it but she says she won't let me hurt myself properly in the room. Maybe yours is trying the ignoring hoping you will stop?

I've done that before. T Ignored it. I think they figure if they don't show attention to it, then it will make the person stop. I just keep my nails cut all the way down so if I start to it, I know I won't hurt myself too bad.

Yes I've done stuff during therapy (mainly in the early yrs). I think it's a way of trying to externalise the internal pain. As we get further along in verbalising the internal struggle, the need to externalise it lessons.

(((bt))) ...

I've always self injured ... I learned it early on and because of the years of abuse I endured, it's lasted a long, long time.

When I first started therapy, it exploded BIG TIME ... More than I ever remembered doing even when I was living in the abuse. My therapist didn't focus on it much either because she also realized that it was a coping mechanism I'd learned to numb myself from the horrid abuses I had endured as a child.

The good news is that after working on and through a lot of these unresolved issues the self injury lessened and lessened. My therapist and I talked openly about this and she told me that like many other maladaptive coping mechanisms I'd learned that it would never completely disappear, but it wouldn't be as bad as it used to be and I've found that to be true.

When I'm under a lot of stress I sometimes still pick and dig at myself, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was when I was living in the abuse or working my way through it in therapy.

My advice is to just be patient, gentle and kind with yourself. You came by it honestly and it has helped you survive some rather painful things and it will get better with time ... I promise.

,
Pfrog!

I shake during therapy which my t says is the bad energy escaping the body; she encourages it actually!

I've done s/h in a session by pinging and elastic band on my wrist throughout but she did challenge me.

Take care of yourself

"I used to do this in my sessions too. My to would hold my hands to get me to calm down and stop usually. "

"I too shake a lot and scratch at my arms but like Starry Night my t holds my hands or arms to stop me."

I think that it's crazy your therapist will touch. I've been reading here for some time and read some therapists will ask them to stop, tell them it makes them uncomfortable when you don't talk, or tell you not to cover your eyes or do something, etc. My therapist would never touch me...if she did, I'd definitely stop hurting myself, but I'd probably start shaking. I would be really scared if she touched or held my arms. I would probably also start crying because I feel like I need to do it to make myself feel more grounded and just better when I'm talking or not-talking.
I have definitely bled and caused marks on my arm from doing it, but I don't think she would mention it unless I did first....

I also just started talking to her about my sh, so she may bring it up, but I doubt it. I think she'd only talk to me about something that I feel comfortable talking about. She has given me fidges, though, if she sees me doing it, but I am often too embarassed to use them so I just continue.

Thanks . I don't want it to look like I am doing it for attention. I'd so much rather prefer she wasn't looking. I also find that I have a hard time talking which probably intensifies it because sometimes I am trying to talk but can't so i will generally go deeper.

I would absolutely not have a good reaction if the therapist tried to hold my arms or hands down.

Me too

My t does touch me or hold me. She is a body therapist which means we do psychotherapy, then she does a massage afterwards; it's called body psychotherapy. It is from the touching that starts me shaking.

Hugs to all x

As most of you know I also have body psychotherapy as my main issue is touch and my reactions to it. She rarely touches me without my permission but a couple of times when I really lost it in a session to have someone hold on to me and say no they wouldn't let me hurt myself as they cared too much was very powerful. To have another person saying they are with you and won't let go sounds slightly wrong written down but was so completely what I needed in the session. It was one of the very few times I actually felt she cares. I know with my mind she does but I rarely feel it.
I think like others have said as time has passed I have found I do it less and less. I still want to but these days rarely act on the urge. We have never talked about it much as she seemed confident dealing with other stuff would help the sh to decrease.
As for the shaking mine quite likes it as well as she often says it is letting something out. I generally fight it by tensing up and she encourages me to stop and if I can't at least recognise what I am doing.
Hang on in there. It is a horrible place to be but it does get better. I never thought it would and although things are still pretty rough I don't use half as many destructive behaviours as I used to.

Google or Check out a T who specializes in Trichotillomania.

They would Definitiely talk about it and ask you:

"What are you hands trying to tell you?"

"How is scratching providing you comfort ( mentally)?"

Well if the touching starts causing you to shake, why would she do that? Does the massage help you?

I would never want anyone to do that to me in a bajillion years

My T has touched me before to ground me when I dissociated, but that was only her tapping lightly on my knee and only one time. Only other touch-is her quick hugs at the end of session. However, if she ever forcefully held my hands or arms down, I would probably kick her. Not on purpose, but just as an automatic PTSD response. I can see how it would work for others though, about having someone present and there and caring.

I dig my fingernails into my arm or my other hand when things become to emotional for me. It's also the same thing I do when I know something somewhat physically painful is about to happen. (When I'm about to get blood drawn, or stitches, or a visit to the dentist.) It's probably not the best thing for me to do in t, but I don't feel comfortable loosing control yet.

When I first started seeing T and things felt too intense, I'd dig my nails in to my palms, or scratch at my wrists. After the 3rd or 4th session in which I did this, I brought it up with T at the next session, and asked her if she would please ask me to stop if she noticed that I was doing it. T agreed to do so. If she catches me starting to self-harm during session, she asks me what has just triggered me, and we stop and talk about it.

I used to shake, and I still fidget during session. When I get shaky, I stop and take some deep breaths, and T asks me to just notice that I'm shaky, and we just focus on that for a few moments. I've found that once I pay attention to my body's reaction, it tends to fade away.

Since I still fidget, and probably always will, I bring things to keep my hands occupied. That also keeps me from harming myself. I will play with a ring, or my watch or a tangle toy. If I suddenly grab my tangle out of my purse in the middle of a session, T knows that things are getting stressful for me and she asks me what is going on. Sometimes, I just need something to play with, sometimes it's because I've noticed the urge to harm myself and need something else to occupy my hands with.

I just, first, want to say thank you for bringing this up. I had always wondered if other people did anything like this, but I was always too self concious to ask.

I will pinch myself sometimes if I'm trying to stay 'here' and not remember things. When really hard things come up, sometimes I rub my hand and, at times, I have done it so much that it is raw and bleeding.

My T never mentions it - which I'm glad. I don't realize that I'm doing it until after it's happened. I don't know what it is.

Usually I try to have something in my hands to play with, even if it's just my coat.

Should we be telling out Ts about this? I mean, it sounds like it pretty normal and a lot of us do it.

You;re welcome . I too, am very uncomfortable about asking the question, but I was actualyl curious if it was only me...generally when u think it's only you, it never is.

I pinch and scratch usually during therapy and sometimes it will bleed too...but didn't realize it until after. Sometimes, I touch her couch constantly to try to keep my hand busy with something

You can mention it, but you're therapist may not mention anything because maybe she feels it will cause u more anxiety ( i think that's why mine isnt saying anything...she feels i wont be comfortable...)

I gouge and tear my cuticles when I am anxious. I remove big chunks of skin. It's horrible. I noticed that when I was anxious in T & had bandaids over my fingers, I still pushed on the areas that hurt the most. I honestly have no idea if either my current or ex-T noticed. Neither ever mentioned it, but they're both so good at picking up other stuff that I have to wonder.