c o u c h 38 - The dark ages....

Could you spend more time with her?

One Jack and Coke down... many more to go.
T can kiss my ***

Healed... "unhappy" sounds subjective so only the person can know... but for me I've been married 24 years... some have been pretty great...some have been tolerable... some have been horrible... and the cycle continues.. I personally don't believe in a set of "acceptable reasons" for divorce... but I'll say the same thing to you that I said to a friend the other night... IMO "happy"/ "unhappy" are feelings and feelings can be fleeting and have highs and lows... marriage is based on more than feelings.. but only you can know if your relationship is based on common ground, beliefs, desires, goals, futures...etc... IMO the feeling can come and go but if the common stuff is there it will see you through till the feelings come around again... sorry if that was too much...

Maybe the couch needs this too:

At least you can drink. I'm the admin on-call this weekend. With a possible snowstorm (< 1"...go with it, it's a snowstorm where I live). Meh.

I have a work event at 9am tomorrow ... but I don't really care about that right now. We had 1/2" of snow this morning and there were cars in the ditch and hitting light poles. This from the place where people drive in blizzards...

sconnie...cheers....I have a chiatini, with whipped vodka.

The only way out is drunk at this point.

MKAC ... so very sorry about your dog. That is so painful.

(((Wiki)))
(((Sconnie)))

I haven't had an alcoholic drink in 25 years... not because I have addiction problems but because I am a control freak... and don't want to feel "out of control".

I drink about 1 and a half drinks, get a buzz, and then get sick. That's my norm, lol. I haven't been drunk since I was about 15.

A part of me thinks it would be good to just get drunk and not be in control all the time...

Personally, I think it would be selfish to ask someone to stay in a marriage that made that made them unhappy, especially for the sake of the spouse/family. If you are unhappy being in a relationship with someone, how could you want to sleep in a bed with that person, have sex, wake up looking at their face, share meals together, go to family functions together, etc. It would be living a lie, and it would require closing off a part of yourself just so you could make it through the day.

I was in a 5 1/2 year domestic partnership and I became very unhappy beginning in year 3. However, I felt that because I made a commitment, I had to stick it out. So for 3 years, I was absolutely miserable. It got to the point that the sight of her face or the touch of her hand made me sick to my stomach. I lost a piece of who I was because I had to turn my "self" off just to tolerate being in the relationship. I had to turn off the part of myself that was screaming, dying to get out, and wanting to be free. I felt I was allowing myself to be constantly violated because I was allowing her to touch me, sleep in bed with me, etc., even though it felt disgusting and wrong. It got to the point that I remember telling my T at the time "I feel dead inside. I can't remember the last time I felt anything. I can't remember the last time I was happy, even for a second." Finally, I realized that having a "self" was worth more than the commitment I made to her-- and I overcame my fear of leaving-- and it was the best decision I ever made. It was a hard decision to make, though, because she didn't want the relationship to end. She wanted me to stay, even though she knew I was miserable. (I believe that is what was selfish; she knew being with her was killing me inside, but she put herself above me, all the while claiming she loved me-- if she really had loved me, she would have let me go). But, at some point, I decided I had the right to listen to myself; that I was allowed to matter! Now, 3 years later, I'm in love with the "right" person and I'm happy. I'm not just "living to live"; I'm like "can't stop smiling" happy-- in fact, just yesterday, my and my current GF had the most incredible Valentine's Day of my life. Now, I wish that I had left my ex-partner 3 years earlier, so that I wouldn't have undergone the trauma I went though as a result of the relationship. Because, honestly, there are times when it still affects me now-- but the only thing worse than having stayed with her as long as I did would have been staying with her one more day. Okay, that's probably a longer response than you were looking for, but it's what came up for me when I read your quesiton.

RTS, I will admit that the one and only time I was truly drunk, a myriad of mistakes occurred. In front of coworkers. With my ex-GF (after we split). With coworkers, involving driving.

I'm all for control.

I feel so alone. I don't know what to do with myself. I guess going to bed would be an easy solution.

Ike...how did the move go?

I get so triggered by scary suspenseful shows... or even just previews... there was a preview for a show "the call"... and i was almost in full panic mode by the time my H found the remote ...

guess I'm really not much better...just better at attempting to avoid the triggers... I'm not even sitting in the same room...didn't even see anything...only hear it...

I don't really watch tv anymore... my son had the rookie challenge on for NBA

Hey RTS, I'm headed to bed too, full of pizza and Princess Bride is on!

I have never seen Princess Bride. is it funny or heartwarming and inspiring?

Omg its hilarious! To me anyway... Dont let the commercials get to you, keep telling yourself its all fake.

We're here. Furniture arrives tomorrow. The puppy is much more relaxed. D seems excited to decorate upstairs, We are sort of camping out tonite. Futon and a blow up mattress. thnx for asking.

hey ready

What does your significant others think about you posting on PC? Do you ever talk about the people on PC to your significant other?

Hey Granite... does it feel good to have your taxes finished?

Andre the Giant used to have a home about 15 miles from where I used to live. We used to drive by there. Samuel Beckett drove him to school in Paris when he was a youngster. They talked about cricket, supposedly. How's that for useless and pointless knowledge?

She was jealous and hated it at first , now shes ok. Yes I do talk about everyone, I just told her I was talking to you! Haha

She commented tonite that she thought I was addicted. I have sometimes talked with W about people on PC