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#76
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Quote:
Turns out he actually WAS doing therapy incorrectly for my condition (CPTSD). My current therapist is aware that this prior T relationship was actually retraumatizing. And gaslighting? Yeah -- that, exactly! |
![]() Lamplighter, skysblue
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#77
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Quote:
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__________________
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." Edgar Allan Poe |
![]() jenluv, Lamplighter
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#78
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I am SO sorry it ended this way, Torn. I don't know what to say so I will just give you lots of hugs! I hope you're still reading, but it not, I understand your need to stay away.
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![]() Lamplighter
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#79
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Thanks for all the good wishes and hugs, you guys have really helped.
Couldn't not thank you but not capable of saying much else at the moment, hope to be back sometime soon though. Thank you ![]()
__________________
Somebody must have made a false accusation against Josef K, for he was arrested one morning without having done anything wrong. (The Trial, Franz Kafka) Lamplighter used to be Torn Mind |
![]() Anonymous32830, Anonymous33425, ECHOES, pachyderm, Wren_
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![]() ECHOES
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#80
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"desolation at having been made to experience myself once again as unhuman, unacceptable and fit only for rejection"... I know what that's like and I'm sorry. I don't know what to say about it but it makes me think the whole trust your therapist thing is really bad for some of us. I am about to try again but I'm not hoping for as much. I wish I understood what your looking for in therapy better- something about anger at the t but not about the t, based out of something you were legitimately angry at an adult for when you were a kid, I think... it sounds similar to me in that I have a pretty good idea of what I want out of therapy... but it is probably not a good time to get into discussing what you wanted out of therapy. ![]() |
![]() Lamplighter
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![]() Lamplighter
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#81
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I'm sorry to hear that. You should feel free to express anger.
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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#82
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Sorry to bump this thread from whichever page it's ended up on but I just wanted to update quickly and say thanks for the hugs and support.
I'm feeling both supported and pretty gobsmacked at the number of people who've had equally negative experiences with therapists not accepting their anger. From my own experience I think it's a major failing in therapy generally, understandable but not ok in terms of healing from emotional problems. I'm feeling half way ok right now because I've lined up an appointment with a new psychologist tomorrow. He may not be able to help me but while I have hope I feel human again hence reading PC in the interim. Hope to catch up with a few threads while I'm feeling slightly better. Learning I'll send you a PM, if that's ok, rather than carry on on this thread. I'm also considering starting a thread about anger in therapy, but that all depends on how tomorrow's meeting goes. I'm still really struggling big time and am not holding my breath that I'm going to suddenly find a T who can do what umpteen others before him haven't managed to do. Torn
__________________
Somebody must have made a false accusation against Josef K, for he was arrested one morning without having done anything wrong. (The Trial, Franz Kafka) Lamplighter used to be Torn Mind |
![]() anonymous112713, Anonymous32825, Anonymous32830, Anonymous33425, BonnieJean, murray, sittingatwatersedge, skysblue, unaluna, ~EnlightenMe~
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![]() ~EnlightenMe~
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#83
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Good Luck Torn.... the T for you is out there.
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![]() Lamplighter
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#84
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That's one of my complaints against my therapist. One of the reasons I'm quitting.
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
![]() Lamplighter
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#85
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I believe a T should let us express ALL emotions. That's what makes therapy THE safe place. My T has accepted my anger - she even accepted a poem I wrote to her/about her called, "I Hate You".
Are you going to ask in the interview how the therapist will accept all emotions and will you also share your previous experiences with therapists and their inability to help you in this way? |
![]() Lamplighter
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#86
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(((((((Torn))))))))))
Keeping you in my thoughts. I hope things go well tomorrow! ![]() ![]()
__________________
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." Edgar Allan Poe |
![]() Lamplighter
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#87
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Torn, yes, you're welcome to send a PM. (I don't always log in everyday but I have been lately)
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![]() Lamplighter
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#88
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I've been very dissatisfied for my T for a long time but I don't understand why. Then I get an email that hits all the triggers. Suddenly I have words for how I feel. Now that one email might be innocuous in itself, but it's the straw that breaks the camel's back, opens the floodgates, lifts the scales from my eyes etc.
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
![]() BonnieJean
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![]() Lamplighter
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#89
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Oh Torn! How awful. I'm so sorry. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
![]() BonnieJean
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![]() Lamplighter
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#90
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Torn,
I was told by my childhood T (when I went back a few months ago to see if I could be her client again and how well we connected, or DIDN'T) about how hostile I was being to her and that it was her practice and she wasn't going to "stand for it"....some of it was real anger, wow, maybe we should explore it?? Duh. Other times I was really just being quite sarcastic as I had with a past T who had been sarcastic too and thought it was funny. And then sometimes she got ticked off because she was angry about something I told her had happened, and I wasn't...so she was trying to project that on to me and would tell me I should be angry about it. Ok, so then you can think I am hostile again if I am really angry??? I gave up on her and am with my other T still, for now. I am so sorry that T treated you so badly. You deserve so much more. I hope your appt goes (or went) well. ![]() |
![]() Lamplighter
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#91
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Why are you so angry?
I really do hope things go well with the psychologist today. You will be in my thoughts. I hope you can find some peace.
__________________
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#92
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Thank you so much again everyone for your support and understanding
![]() I'd really like to reply individually but feeling rather rubbish right now, as my meeting with the potential new P this morning was a bit of a fiasco, and he's not able to help me anyway ![]() ![]() So I'm lying low in the interim to lick my wounds and think seriously about what to do next. Thanks again all ![]() Torn
__________________
Somebody must have made a false accusation against Josef K, for he was arrested one morning without having done anything wrong. (The Trial, Franz Kafka) Lamplighter used to be Torn Mind |
![]() Anonymous32825, Anonymous32830, Anonymous33425, BonnieJean, critterlady, Syra
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