[precious things]

What (pains, needs, wants) is your _______(depression, anxiety, panic, eating disorder, anger, etc...) covering up?

I am so out of touch with my emotions and this is something I am supposed to think about. Maybe you all have your own thoughts as to how you would answer for yourselves? Please share.

Thanks for this.... I can't answer it either....but its a new good way for me to think about it!

[precious things]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

Thanks for this.... I can't answer it either....but its a new good way for me to think about it!

My new T is really pushing me and oh man, am I resisting like hell! but I do know I need to be challenged and not spend 6 months easing into the hard stuff. I'm still getting used to this lets get to work approach

Keep us posted on how that's working for you. I can't tell if I m working hard or not...so I guess I'm not?

[healed84]

It seems a bunch of my crap keeps on coming back to the R*ape and emotional/physical abuse I endured as a child.

[precious things]

Originally Posted by healed84

It seems a bunch of my crap keeps on coming back to the R*ape and emotional/physical abuse I endured as a child.

Healed84........

ok Ill take a stab at it....

I think my anxiety is covering up my insecurities and my depression is covering up my yearning to feel loved.

[Nelliecat]

Ok, I want to answer this but I'll have to give it some thought and come back to it.

My depression is covering up this big gapping void I have in my life and the feeling that I am not loved. My anxiety is covering up my insecurities and my suppressed anger is being covered up by my depression too. If only we could all say how we feel and tell people that we are hurting.

[Nightlight]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

ok Ill take a stab at it....

I think my anxiety is covering up my insecurities and my depression is covering up my yearning to feel loved.

This sums it up really well for me as well.

I think my anxieties are because of my fear of being seen to be inadequate. So I feel afraid to try or afraid of exposing myself, my weaknesses. Perhaps it's sometimes about not being able to trust myself to cope in a difficult situation. I won't manage, I won't know what to do, I won't be able to do it.

My depression possibly covers the fact that I don't feel like I've ever been properly loved, cared about, and supported, and I now don't feel like an okay enough person to have those things. At the same time, it feels confusing to care about other people in that way (like T after our four years working together), but for it not to be reciprocated back in the same way. Am I really not good enough? I guess that's what my depression is about. Also it probably ties into my deep sense of hopelessness about the future. No matter how hard I try, I don't really think anything will ever be okay.

Nothingness, I'm afraid.

I think we are all afraid Rose. You aren't alone.

[trdleblue]

Originally Posted by healed84

It seems a bunch of my crap keeps on coming back to the R*ape and emotional/physical abuse I endured as a child.

Ditto, although I have no idea what ---- is and what it covers up. I have trouble knowing where my true self lies and where the crap begins.

Depression...being separated from someone and missing them and how all of that happened.

Anxiety...I have been anxious since I was a little kid so there is that nature vs. nurture thing. The nurture or lack there of never helped then. Now I am just always anxious about everything.

[karebear1]

I think the pain my depression is covering up is a true realization that my family is not really a family. That there is no desire to want to be around each other, that we don't have a bond and that we live for ourselves and don't regard each other with any respect at all. It's stems also from a realization that if we can't count on family we can't count on anyone. That we only have ourselves and no one else and that is such a lonely feeling.

The anxiety covers up my need for a whole family and the panic covers up my desperation for some normalcy and love , unconditional love, in my life.

That was a good question Preciousthing.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

I think my anxiety is covering up my insecurities and my depression is covering up my yearning to feel loved.

(aplogies to Precious Things for the hijack but I have to say this)
Lola, do you think you might change your avatar? Please? When you post something like this ^ ^ and I see that poor lost soul, it breaks my heart. YOU are still here; YOU still have your shot at healing and life. I loved her too, I mourned her loss; you are not her.
BTW I find you brilliantly funny and loveable and would be honored to have you as a friend.
(end of hijack)

My avoidance, what is it covering up? The knowledge of myself as I really am; the SAWE that no one knows.

[precious things]

Originally Posted by karebear1

I think the pain my depression is covering up is a true realization that my family is not really a family. That there is no desire to want to be around each other, that we don't have a bond and that we live for ourselves and don't regard each other with any respect at all. It's stems also from a realization that if we can't count on family we can't count on anyone. That we only have ourselves and no one else and that is such a lonely feeling.

.

This really resonates with me - well stated.

[Mike_J]

You know if I could answer this question I think most of my problems would be solved.

[precious things]

Originally Posted by Mike_J

You know if I could answer this question I think most of my problems would be solved.

This was/is my initial reaction but I really am trying to challenge myself to dig...reading how others are responding helps at least get me thinking

[Nelliecat]

Ok, this is still confusing me but at least it's getting my brain going

I wonder if my depression is a result of/covering up a feeling of believing I was unwanted, unloved, worthless, unimportant........... yeah I suppose that would do it.

[Willowleaf]

I think I am covering up my loneliness and the longing I have to be truly loved for myself. For someone in the world to care. I am also covering up a lot of suppressed anger that never comes out but just eats away from inside.
I wish I knew what the anxiety was about. Will keep thinking.

[harvest moon]

The pain of not being truly loved and of being emotionally abused by my parents (especially my mother); the need and want for this to change (even though intellectually I know that it won't). This pain and need has created since my early childhood (I'm 30 now) a tremendous sense of insecurity, a huge separation anxiety fear, lots of guilt and shame, and a never-ending seeking of self-worth only through the approval and acceptance of older people (which is never enough). Only recently have I started to think about my true self... We said hello for the first time and now we are struggling to get to know each other. The beginning of a extremely painful journey which many of you, I know for a fact, are also trying to experience...

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by precious things

What (pains, needs, wants) is your _______(depression, anxiety, panic, eating disorder, anger, etc...) covering up?

I am so out of touch with my emotions and this is something I am supposed to think about. Maybe you all have your own thoughts as to how you would answer for yourselves? Please share.

It's a great question. I think that for me, my numerous dysfunctional behaviors are covering up my fear of acknowledging that I really want more emotional connection with the important people in my life.

And it looks like the world didn't tilt any further on its axis when I wrote this. Curious . . . .

[sconnie892]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

ok Ill take a stab at it....

I think my anxiety is covering up my insecurities and my depression is covering up my yearning to feel loved.

All I can say is ditto for me... and maybe add for me that anxiety and depression are also covering my fear of abandonment and being alone.

[sugahorse1]

I can really relate to Button's response.

I battle to feel my emotions and they don't get acknowledged by me either. I am pushing them away, and this causes a lot of my anxiety and depression.

Not having a very close relationship with my parents when I was growing up is making me feel insecure, especially with regards to feeling loved and cared for.

My T is really pushing to try get emotions out of me. It's hard work, but necessary