Couch 47.0 (we finally debugged)

I sure hope this is not the case of... She says she wants out of M because she feels insecure with changes you have been making hoping that you will say no no I don't want that .... but instead you say well she must really want out so I will let her go cause thats what she wants...

Isn't all of these years together worth some MC? most times people need a referee and interpreter for everyone to get the feelings and thoughts out on the table the way everyone can understand them.

she said If I ever loved her, I would let her go and stop hurting her

Travelling sucks, but why do YOU suck? I don't get it.

((Lola))

No one does the right thing all the time.

apparentlty...most do the right thing, most of the time....

((Lola))

That is one of those damned if you do damned if you don't things...

Lola can you talk to your T? call him? email him and ask him to call you back?

Lola...there are some really wise people on PC who have a knack for great perspective and wise counsel... I'm sorry I'm not one of them...

All I have to offer is

(((Lola))) I wish I knew what to say. I'm so sorry that things are so hard.

Wish I could offer some advice, but I suck at relationships. I'm single and don't even have a boyfriend, so I have no clue how to relate to relationship boo-boos. I just try my best to keep a healthy relationship with my parents (dad and his wife, mom and her husband)...but I can't even do that sometimes (or rather most of the time).

Wish I could help, but I really don't know what to say.

Thats the boat I'm in. I don't even have a good relationship with family. But I'm pullin for ya.

You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille>>>>

((( Lola )))

I hope that you can find a way to make some space to figure out what your needs are. I can imagine that being scary, but sometimes taking a leap into unfamiliar territory leads to fulfillment.

I never thought I would ever get divorced, even though my marriage was so unhealthy. I preferred to stay with what was familiar than to risk delving into the unknown. I don't regret being married, and I don't regret getting divorced.

The one thing I am sure of is that I am not interested in passive aggressive game playing.

Just got back from my sister's house. Had an exhausting but good day at a park for opening day and then my niece's soccer game. Note to self, just because it's only in the 70's weather-wise doesn't mean you can't burn the s h i t out of yourself. My neck is burnt to a crisp. The kids were making fun of my swollen burnt neck, poking at it. ACK!

I helped the softball organization with prepping/serving over 1000 hot dogs and burgers. It was crazy, but great fun! Several people asked if I would be willing to help out next year and wished I was there for years prior. These kinds of things are up my alley, with years of experience in hosting church functions. I just wished I used sunscreen.

My niece got elbowed in the nose during her game....OUCH! It was painful to watch....but she's ok. Still sore though.

My daughter is sleeping at my niece's house tonight. I was planning to meet up with some friends, but I am just way too exhausted...AND I'm on-call for work...so I really need to get some sleep.

On a T note....

I am not sure I ever want to go back to T or go to group...*sigh*....After T pulled out that mirror in my last session, I feel utterly SICK and humiliated by the idea of being SEEN. DISGUSTING.

I love that song. With 4 hongry children and a crop in the field...

I should be in bed, but I am not tired. I did have a coke (had a box and a half left from December when I drank multiple cams daily) at lunch today because I ran out of juice boxes to take with me to my training.

My first coke since the week before New Year's Eve. I think the caffeine might be what is keeping me up. After not having it so long, it probably wasn't smart to drink it today.

so..........just hanging out.....

hello couch

generic lucky charms are yucky!

hi couch. havin' onea those nights. took that break i wanted from t as i been yakkin about and now i'm right back into the thick of the deep stuff. meh. i find myself designing my dream t session: it would go like this, i would visit her in oregon and have a double session in person followed by going back to my hotel room which would be in the mountains and have a private hot tub with views of the mountains that I could retreat to afterwards to process in total peaceful solitude. doesn't that sound like heaven?!

Wow, artemis, that does sound like it would be an awesome T session.

I fell asleep pretty quickly tonight, by about 10 PM, I'd imagine. Then, I got a call at 12:20 AM for an emergency assignment. ACK! Had to quickly get dressed and race out the door. Luckily, the patient was discharged at 2:15 AM, so I didn't have to stay long.

I was utterly exhausted when I got home earlier. Thank goodness I got a couple hours sleep or I would have been a total zombie on assignment. Now, I'm wide awake. ACK!

I am going to try to get some sleep though, cuz I never know when I'm going to get another call.....

I'm wise enough (sometimes) not to offer wise counsel when no one asks for it.

sleep ..... i cat nap

I am not usually good at cat napping.....Sometimes a 20 minute refresher is nice, but if I fall asleep, I need to sleep for at least 3 hours in order for it to feel worthwhile. Otherwise, I'm a groggy miserable mess. I did ok with a little over 2 hours tonight. Maybe because this interpreting thing is still so new to me, so there's some motivation there.

Lola, I hope you're holding up ok.

Thanks MUE... Im in a fog, it will clear soon.