Couch 48 - All are Welcome - really!

Still waiting for a reply from T. She usually checks her email in the late afternoon/early evening on Saturday, so maybe I missed her or she hasn't checked yet. Oh well...if I missed her, she'll just get it tomorrow.

I know she is going to tell me to be assertive too, I just don't know how, so I asked her for suggestions.

Murray...you are very brave and handling many endings.... so much you do that you don't even share about or complain about... Do you have RL support?

Thanks Ready. Life has been "interesting" for a while that's for sure.

Luckily I have an awesome T (although that probably doesn't count as RL does it?) and I have a couple good friends and one amazing friend who is like my family.

So, before my T appointment, I had an appointment with my regular doctor. It was a 6 month check in to see how I am doing on my meds. Well, I went of my meds (again). She asked me how my anxiety was doing.. I said fine, depression wise.. not so great. So, she pulled up this this page on her computer and started asking me questions about my depression. I decided to be honest with her (as I have lied about suicidal ideation before and questions about past abuse. She looked at me and said, you NEED to be on meds for depression.. and really.. I should have in her next week to make sure you are ok. I assured her that I see a T once a week and can call him if need be. So, she agreed to see me again in 4 weeks.

The whole appointment made me anxious, and she started me on new meds, which makes me anxious. And I was weighed with made me feel disgusting b/c I have gained a lot of weight in the last year. Dr said it probably had a lot to do with the celexa and that the Effoxor wouldn't do that. I told t about the appointment and how she freaked me out. T assured me that my doctor has a history of over reacting when it comes to stuff like that (I suppose is a good thing) and that if I wanted him to he would write her a letter to have In my file that says I see him, and don't miss appointments and doing well under his care. I hate that another person knows the extent of my messed up life.

I took The Courage to Heal book out again, T suggested it might be a good idea to go through it again. I am trying really hard to have some emotions connected to what happen to me and they are just there. Apparently, feelings those will help me heal. Sorry.. I am just rambling. I haven't gotten much time to really unload my day yesterday and my t sessions like a I usually do.

(((Healed)))

party? Did I hear happy Saturday Party?

I thought there was going to be a party here

hey let's get this party STARTED!

Party's?

looks like people aren't in a party mode tonight.

We suck at party's

Well,that sucks.. Of crappy week I get it..believe me.

So I'm finally up late and there is nothing happening on the couch...

It is unusually quiet around here tonight!

I hear ya RS and Healed.... We need to make a party happen

I'm up baking mini muffins and banana bread for a youth group bake sale fund raiser for coffee time between sunday school and church.

So I'm like a real party animal....

I'm not much help either... I am heading to bed! Hopefully I can sleep!

Healed... I hope you get a good night's sleep...

Lots going through my head today...I talked to all of my sisters in one day. Way too much FOO... My one sister started T about a year ago...about 6 months after I did.... she can't remember most of the past... and her T wanted me to tell her what I remember... but I couldn't bring myself to do it

I have 3 real incidents that I remember and on involves my mother chasing her so she could beat her...

RTS, I bet your house smells yummy right now....and I'm hungry!

I'm not up to partying tonight. Migraine. As usual. I didn't get any laundry or cleaning done. I did make the chocolate pretzels for tomorrow morning's bake sale.

I also reluctantly did some research on the meanings of stones - picked out my two favs which could fall into the category of "celebrating your body - BLECH", picked out a bunch of stones and jotted down some design ideas for Ts jewelry purchase.

I really have no interest at all in seeing T this week. None. Entirely emotionally detached. Actually, maybe not detached. Hateful. Not at T. Just feeling hate in general.

Anyway....nighty night folks. I'm hoping this migraine will be gone in the morning.

Hankster...you around tonight?... I could use some of your wisdom...

yay finely home and tired

Hi Granite did you have a good time? was this the stamp show?

no just a scrapbooking thing and then met husbab
nd for drinks and all .i had an ok night but am tired

I'm glad it was good...get a good nights rest...