[hurt]

What do you think of a therapist who refused to support his patient of two years to get at least some of her college without further discussing the extremely distressing issues that cause her depression until later -- since she is unable at this moment to handle that kind of stress and school. (I even lost admission at the university due to withdrawal of last semester.) While under his "care" I withdrawed from three full time semesters, attempted suicide twice, and cut myself because the sessions were too hurtful and I was unable to handle them. He said that I experienced dissociation, depersonalization, and PTSD. Is not that enough for him to understand that he needs to support me temporarily to get at least some of my schooling and get to the issues later and very - very slooowly? Am I been unreasonable or he is simply heartless? He gave me a choice: "get a regular medical doctor, get on meds, discuss these issues with me OR I cannot help you. Quit the sessions." What does he have a heart of stone or something? He knows how important college is for me, and he sees how debilitating to the continuation of my classes the therapy has been. He also knows that I have no other support and I cannot be left alone at this moment. Nevertheless, he did leave me alone. This past week was the last session. He does not have a heart or soul!

[9874]

Dreamblue, so sorry you are going through this pain all alone! You deserve to be supported. Thankfully, there are other T's out there who are able to be respectful of your needs. Hope you can locate one real quick.
I've recently terminated treatment with my T, when I wasn't getting the support I felt a need for. It's real tough going it alone, and I look forward to meeting my new T shortly. Hopefully still this week.
When you'll have a good experience with another T you will thank yourself for having the courage to walk away from a non-supportive experience and toward one that meets your needs.
Take gentle care!

[hurt]

He was my first Therapist, and I truly think I cannot go through all this again. Two years is a looong time and I fought with him for sooo long. Is not all his fault, but I was not ready to talk.
I am sooo depressed!

Unfortunately entering therapy means working on those issues we hate to get into for whatever reasons. I have had therapist give me this ultimatum alot when I didn't want to work on any hard stuff.

One took time to explain to me that a person enters therapy because they are ready to work on those hard issues that are making it hard to funtion. If I wasn't going to be working on things with her it was basically a waste of her time, my time and my money. She asked me why I should be paying a therapist close to $100.00 an hour just to come in and say its a nice day out today, when I can be doing that for free with a friend. Therapy is a business where the goal of it is to work on problems in the persons life that is preventing them from funtioning. When they have no more problems that are interferring with daily living or the client does not want to work on their problems then its time for a break in therapy. Taking a break did not mean I could never enter therapy again when I was ready to take care of my problems. Everyone takes breaks from therapy from time to time to do things that are more important in their life, in fact she would tell her clients "When your outside of therapy life is more important then your inside therapy life or you have no more problems for me to get on your back side about" when they ask "when will I be done with therapy", or how long should I or do I have to see you for?"

Ever since whenever I came up against the don't want to work on any problems or I had to attend to my life outside of therapy I took a break.

Therapy isn't something that anyone has to complete in one giannt slap of therapy work with the same therapist, A client works on what they want to and when they need to take care of other things its ok to do that and then come back to therapy later on either with the same therapist or someone new.

Im sorry that the therapist didn't take time to explain that the ultimatum he was giving you was pretty much the way the therapy field is and what therapy is for and when its time to take these breaks.

He is probably leaving you alone so that you can decide what you want to do - get back to work, take a break of find someone new. from the post and his telling you your options to me it sounds like He's basically leaving the door open for you and the decision making up to you to make, he cant do anything else for you if you are not ready to work with him.

Its kind of like a person with cancer and has been told their options chemo, radiation, or nothing and then the doctor stands back and waits for the patient to decide what they want to do. Some choose chemo, some choose radation, some choose both and still others say you know Ive had so much of the treatment that I can't do anymore right now. The only option the doctor has is to honor that decision and let the person sign themselves out of treatment until they are ready to go to battle again. and give advice as to where to go in the meantime if they have a problem.

I told my gastroenterologist look Ive had 6 endocopies in the past 2 years I don't weant to go through that again right now. Whats his only option - refer me to my family physician for monitoring my blood counts if I want and say see you when you are ready to get back to participating in the treatment I have to offer.

Mental health is the same way - you made your therapist aware of what you want and based on what you told him he gave you the options available to you according to hjis profession and agency rules. and now what happens from here on out is up to you.

Suggestion - sit down with paper and pen and write out what your problems are and what you can do about them now and what you cant do about them now and the options that he gave you and any options that you can think of for example there may be a support group in your community about the problems that you are having. Then once you have all your problems, options down and so on make your decision on what you want to do about taking care of you and your problems.

[Rapunzel]

What kind of support would you like from your therapist? I'm sorry to hear about your problems with your university. It feels rotten when you don't feel supported too. Is it possible that your therapist was trying to get you to find ways to cope and to be able to function in school? Therapists can coach you and encourage you, but they can't do it for you, and they can't be your primary social support. Their job is to help you not to need them, so they will help you learn to find support in other relationships and learn how to manage your symptoms yourself. It's hard though, isn't it? I wish that my therapist would be more supportive a lot, but she is trying to get me to learn to have confidence in myself and not depend on her for things I could do myself.

Rap

[2bknown]

Well I have been in the same situtation, with cold heartless therapist, heck i even od'ed in his officeby taking a 100 pills of bayer asprin while he ignored me and talked to some else on the phone.

Although he was a jerk and your t sunds like a jerk also, think about this....always make sure you are the priority, you are safe and you keep looking for a t who can be there for you.

Also I found from my experience of od'ing in from of my t was a sign that i was trying to get his attention and he was ignoring me and giving me hints to go some else.

Your t is being honest, he is telling u that you need more help then what he can offer. You are a human being you deserve to have you needs met. See your medical doc, then look in your local professional psych association for profiles of who is out there to give treatments

[Determined]

I went to a therapist for 3 years and we dealt with things rather well. I felt I needed additional help on a new matter but when we started it she defined it in a way that dumbfounded me. She actually made me feel guilty for needing support from other people other than herself. I wanted to end my therapy so I could once and for all begin living life on my own. I felt upset that she wouldn't want myself to find others to support me so that I could be confident on my own. This form of therapy online is working somewhat so far. I don't get professional advice but I talk to others who care. That is what I wanted most of all. It is strange we wait all week for an appointment when we can talk daily to others dealing with the same issues we are. If you are on meds be sure to have a dr. involved, but I really believe this is a good place to go till you find another T. Yes your therapist was with you for 2 years but if this isn't getting better maybe he never was effective in helping you. You may really need someone else. Imagine it could be someone who can really help you. Wouldn't that be wonderful.

[hurt]

Thank you for your reply. I guess I should have posted my response here. Actually, I posted on generals under Jon Bennett thread (because I was upset about her issue as well) a thank you to all who responded to my question and an update. I talked with my doctor and we solve the problem. He was very very nice!!! He even apologized. He said he did not mean to hurt me. He explained a couple things and I did too. He is going to help me with the school just by been there for a while until I feel stronger to work on issues. He will mention them, But he will go very sloow, and he will help me first calm down when I am very upset before he continues.
Thank you all, again.
I am planning, if possible, to change my name here -- just in case it is somewhat recognizable.
Maybe I will talk to you again under a new name -- hopefully