Couch 51 - They also serve

Pbutton... do you see a male T IRL?

Paul reminds me of my xT. My current T is a female and she is helpful and nice but its not the same dynamic as seeing a male. Its hard to explain.

Ok now I gotta watch it

Awake booking travel

That was painful... Flying out tomorrow

anyone up yet?

Did you PM the the wrong person Lola?

morning peeps kept waking up all night having dreams about going to this craft show with friend and acting out lol god why am i such a freak.hubby said i shouldn't be nervous at all that i am awesome .stupid men lol

lola did you sleep at all???

confused a few messages, sorry about that...LOL

cat napped for a few hours and then awoke to make reservations

where are you heading tomorrow

Today I hope...texas to michigan then to casper wyoming then back to fort Worth

kind of glad you is getting out of that garage

Lola - I hope that you are able to relax, and enjoy the trip.

I did not sleep at all last night. I know have had about three nights of only getting two or three hours. If only I could call off work today, but that is not a possibility. It's too late to do so, and I can not give up the money I would make.

I did end up sending an e-mail to both my t and the group t, and know I am upset with myself for doing so. I know it was probably the healthy thing to do, but that does not make it easier. Also when re-reading one of the messages I realized that I used hear instead of here. It is going to be hard for me not to obsess over that for the next few days. Good grief I am a mess. I can obsess over something that doesn't matter when while I am falling over a cliff.

Have a safe trip lola. Be good. No sex with strangers. In fact, is there a convent in Casper you could join?

Granite...you are awesome chickie. Just remember to breathe.

I'm up. Loopy headache. Murray, steer clear of the flavored vodka, it'll ruin you. I don't drink often, and one or two glasses do me in. I am a total lightweight.

((trdle)) It will be okay. I hope your work day isn't too bad. Remember to breathe.

trdle- I here you on the use of hear vs. here

I also obsess over little mistakes like that and feel like I complete idiot because I somehow missed it when proofreading. I wrote a professional email recently and for some reason used are instead or our. I felt so stupid and literally felt sick over the mistake. Pathetic, I know!

Anxiety, panic, stress, all setting in for the day. Laziness, procrastination, and fear? winning over sensibility, responsibility, and practicality.

I do see a male T. I tried to consider a female T when I had to switch, but it wasn't happening.

I honestly don't connect well with female t's. It's weird. I definitely don't care if they like me or not, so maybe it's a good thing...lol.

I am sitting here thinking I need a T again. And I don't. I have NO reason to waste someone's time and my family's money. I am such a needy sucker.

I thought I only wanted male T's (and perhaps it was just the T and not the gender) but wasn't able to connect to any of them until seeing my current female T. Also H and I tried a few marriage counselors and the only one that we both liked was a female.

Wikid, you have dealt with a life-threatening illness and beaten it, not once, but twice. You have dealt with horrible trauma as well. You should not have to do it alone. Get a T. I'm willing to bet your family does not begrudge you the expense.

Oh, and this made me think of you:

Heading out to go horse back riding for the first time in months. Wish me luck that the horse remembers a little about being ridden. It's a young, green half-Arab and I adore her and she's generally quite sensible, but I'm a bit nervous.

I slept 11 hours. It was so strange I just had dream after dream... of course I didn't write them down and now I can't remember them... I don't think my subconscious is too happy about me going to see xT. I will need to do that guided mediatation that current T introduced me to everyday this week so that my anxiety is kept at bay....