Couch 51 - They also serve

I haven't felt this girlie in a long time... Now I need to get a pedicure and some fake bronzing lotion for my pasty white legs

I was gonna redo my ears too! I have some studs soaking in peroxide right now. Now I got to.

Hankster let me know how it goes....I don't know if I will get to it tonight or not

Added peroxide to my list

Batt batt click click.

Ike you seem more like an ear gauge guy to me anyway. Btw I bought some swimming earphones and a weirdo earband. People talking and kids screaming are starting to get to me.

One of my favorite Zevon tunes, by a great vocalist.

Good evening.. I spent most of my Sunday evening cleaning. Not fun, but necessary. We are having my daugther's 5th b-day party here on Saturday, so.. WE WILL KEEP THIS HOUSE CLEAN! LOL! It feels good to be sitting in my bedroom with less clutter though!

This week I finally go back to my Friday T time.. Thankful to have it back, but I want to talk to him now! Last session, I think we both walked away just a wee bit frustrated. It seems that I have a hard time letting go of these standards I have built for myself. Apparentley they are too high.. Apparentley I think too badly of my self (which I agree). But for some darn reason I can't give up these thoughts about myself, or the standards that I have set. I was reading through my journal I kept the first 6 months of therapy.. I was dealing with the same crap then as well. Here I am 1 1/2 later! That is soooo discouraging. However, I have made some progress as far as opening up to my t about the rape.. We can talk about it in detail now. I told him there were more incidences.. We haven't talked about yet, but we will get there. I guess, I am trying to tell myself.. even though I see little progress on one thing, I am making progress on the other. Although, I have yet to connect my emotions to the experience itself. We are working on that part right now!!!

I don't like people or kids either. What kind of swim earphones did you get? I use finis swimp3 player. It works great, but I have to have my daughter help with the programming.

I got jlab. I don't have them yet. You inspired me.

Let me know how they work. And urge me to get back in the pool.

Healed... it sounds like you are making lots of progress... you have come a long way with talking about your trauma.... and how you see yourself... its hard to let go of old thoughts ....standards that we have of ourselves that we don't have for other people...

I've found that those personal "rules" , "standards", "shoulds" are really set from childhood... from childish thinking... like if I am nice and perfect than I can keep the chaos from happening at home.. so many thoughts and feelings that are not realistic but have been built into how I'm wired that its hard to let go...

Thanks, Ready. We are working with a social worker now and will have a 504 plan for next year. She already has an IEP for the gifted program, so we will incorporate it into that. The school said it was just too late in the year to do one this year.

What's going on Mast? Are you okay?

[quote=Readytostop;3095481]Healed... it sounds like you are making lots of progress... you have come a long way with talking about your trauma.... and how you see yourself... its hard to let go of old thoughts ....standards that we have of ourselves that we don't have for other people...

I've found that those personal "rules" , "standards", "shoulds" are really set from childhood... from childish thinking... like if I am nice and perfect than I can keep the chaos from happening at home.. so many thoughts and feelings that are not realistic but have been built into how I'm wired that its hard to let go...[/quote]


RTS- thanks for sharing that thought, this is something worth examining in my own life!

MKAC... How did riding go?

Healed84... 5 years old... that is a big deal!!! I bet d is very excited!

The riding went exceptionally well, Ready. Thanks so much for asking. The horse was lovely with only a couple of little glitches that showed me what we need to work on. It was so very good to be out and be on a horse.

This is My dads mom, she was the only person who ever loved me unconditionally we r not huggie people but yes a few, she's like w foot shorter then me so not like when I was little haha

Thank you all for the suggestions on NOT drinking... I'm good on that, no pills either, another demon has reared its ugly head..but I'm thinnking its time to put that back to rest and get my **** together and my head on straight. I've been on the road to rock bottom and I'm thinking I need off this ride.

Lola... I'm so glad you could go see your Grandma... I hope you don't have too hard of a time putting that demon back to rest... I hope you can see how much you are cared about and how you have so much worth just because you are you.

LC - good.

Sorry didn't mean to b debbie downer... I did get to see my oldest friend from 6th grade, cookout tomorrow with her and her new girl.

that sounds really nice Lola.

I'm trying to decide whether to sit here and waste more time or just go to bed and try to get up early. Have lots to do tomorrow, much of it anxiety causing, so should go to bed. May have to take some melatonin or Nyquil in order to sleep though.

Get meds and then when sleepy go to bed and or take us to bed with you !

Morning all. On the bus at 6:20am. I am not a morning person... At least it's Monday.

mkac - thank you for asking. No, I'm not, but I'll live. T tomorrow. I have to get through this day.

I hope all of you are doing okay.

Have a good day Mastodon.