Couch 53 Bringing it All Back Home

Hungary, Dalecarlia, and possibly Gotland Island.

Hmm. I just realised it's only a week until I leave for Hungary.

Hmm, I haven't given much thought to this summer. I'm hoping to be working as much as possible - or have a full time job - so I won't really "plan" on anything. My daughter is going to Disney with my sister's family.

I may take a few days to go to my aunt's house in Virginia. She's aging and ill, so it would be good to spend some time with her. Other than that - and the swim club - I got nothing.

Wow, Mastodon...that sounds awesome!

My daughter just invited her BFF over - they're having dinner here, then going to the swim club for teen night and then her friend is sleeping over. I'm entertaining family tomorrow at the swim club too....and have a T session smack dab in the middle of it all. At least I'm busy!

in september i am going to las vegas thanks to hubbys job all paid for except my plain ticket and in october i am going to bermuda

Don't feel badly in the least... And activities out of the ordinary are great! Last time I had a definable vacation, away from where I was living, was 1990... Which sounds pretty messed up now that I type it out loud. I guess I've had some very very long stay-cations however.

Wow! Souds incredible. I'm sure that will be a blast.

We took our big vacation during spring break and H's just is part of the sequester (cuts back to 8 hr days, every Friday is an unpaid day off, starting in July) So, we will being staying close to home! We do have a movie theater that does $1 kids movie one day a week during the summer. So, every wed we go to the Farmer's Market, movie, then lunch (usually mcdonalds or pack a lunch and eat in the park)..

Pedophilia is next to impossible to change. They re-offend. They are serial rapists, and I have no compassion for them. My suggestions aren't absolute, I haven't suggested killing them, because I am against the death penalty. I want them marred for life though, I don't want them to have any chance of doing it again. I don't equate sociopaths with Asperger's, or OCD, or Schizophrenia, or PTSD. There are folks on here that have gone thru hell and not laid a hand on a child. Everyone has free will.

THis is BS. He has harmed the kids, hearing him hurt you has harmed them enough that they will need intense counseling at some point. They are not sleeping, they are cowering under their covers pretending to sleep. And there is no way a mother who is regularly being abused can give her children the life they deserve. I am sorry, but you are wrong. And your decision to raise children in an abusive environment is selfish. I pray someone steps in to rescue those kids before they have to spend one more night in fear.
Wow. I want to go to Gotland Island!
Since I live in vacationland, I never leave here in the summer. But who'm I kidding, I don't leave period. In the fall we will spend a few days in Vermont. Both H and I hate traveling, and we hate hotels.

Weren't you once shushed by a librarian?

Perhaps you expect (or want) emotions to be simpler?

I hear what you say and maybe I have it all wrong, but I simply can't say that if someone has this condition because they were born that way then it seems awfully cruel to punish them in a cruel and unreasonable manner.

I 100% agree about the fact that there is harm to innocents here, and every effort should be made to eliminate any harm to an innocent.

When you say that everyone has free will... Some days that feels less true than others.

I think because of ADHD (and maybe autism,) that I have one particular OCD feature that has been identified, that I'm obsessed with perfectionism, and will structure my life in a way to allow for that, and get anxious, panic or melt down when I miss the marks.

I dont really see the obsession come, but I feel the compulsion. I fight the compulsion day in and day out but it gets tiring and I make excuses, or just feel weak. Also the ADD means I'm impulsive which is an added "bonus".

Thats unmedicated OCD and ADD. It doesn't feel like entirely free will most days. It's not an excuse, and I will admit to many mistakes. Basically the one I hurt is myself. Still I guess I'm just fortunate that nature gave me THAT brain structure/chemistry abnormality, and not something where I harm others, otherwise I might be punished not only by birth but in life too, from what you're saying. And I wouldn't really like being purposefully cruelly treated because of a genetic accident.

(although again, no easy answers because innocents should be protected)

Until five or ten years ago, anger was pretty much my only emotion.
Score another victory to Madame T!

I suppose. I guess I have a lot to learn about emotions.

Cooking dinner for the kids. Will run to the store while they're at teen night at the swim club...then hopefully will have the energy to cut the lawn. It's a good day to do it - and it needs to be done. I just don't have the energy at this moment. *sigh*

It is unusual for a man to stop beating his wife if no one intervenes. I say no more.

Sorry, tried to quote MUE's earlier response about anger covering for other feelings...stupid computer being twitchy.

Yeah, see I don't get it either. Already got the feelings of shame and all, no problem feeling those. For me it almost seems backwards, like the shame is hiding the anger instead. Very confusing.
Part of it for me is that I think I don't want to accept that I can be angry. Everyone in my life has always been so angry and terrifying and I guess I am afraid that if I feel anger then that makes me like them. What if I become a monster? How do I know that if I accept and let out my anger that it wont get out of control?

Also, don't want to be difficult or cause trouble but even people with OCD/ADD/PTSD/etc....have free will and can choose not to ever hurt someone.
I had to listen to a bunch of BS from my ex-to-be about how because of his ADD he was not responsible for all of the bad things he did. Nope, not buying it. Sorry.

I initially read this as MARRIED for life (with no chance of parole). And somehow that made sense...

Sorry all. Didn't mean to take over the couch with my silly issues

Anyway, my job is so awesome that I'm sitting here eating leftover salad and pizza from a meeting last night and drinking a leftover beer from a function a few weeks ago.

What's everyone else having for dinner?

Sorry. I'm done with my b****y mood now.

I'm heating up a frozen pizza right now for dinner. Not a good choice but don't feel like bothering with anything else.

ADD can have impulsiveness, which there is a choice in, but its difficult. Its easier to make poorer choices. And you have complete responsibility for those, and the guilt associated (although I'm guessing your ex is not.) I don't see OCD quite the same way.

I would never just hurt someone (although sometimes I've not been attentive enough, which hurts in a different way.) I was the one that got bullied in school, not the bully. The OCD perfectionism, though, you don't see it coming, you literally feel that you should do something a particular way. That's the obsession... and the compulsion is when there is resistance to that, that you feel like you can't do it any other way, and if you tried then you're subconsciously sure that something bad will happen.

I don't allow for every OCD moment, but its a powerful feeling, draining and you just get tired. If you want to say that no-one should ever get tired of fighting compulsions, that's nice, in an ideal world.

I guess I feel guilty for even saying any of this now.

Me too. It really does make sense. Married but no kids.

Maple...I have OCD, and I don't always control my compulsions, so I get what you are saying. However OCD compulsions are not evil. We may think evil thoughts, and ritual to undo those thought...but we don't do sadistic things to people. Huge difference. And it's not cruel to protect children. I am talking about humane surgery to stop the person from doing it. Not torturing the predator.

My window of opportunity to cut the lawn is NOW. The sun is going down...it's cooler...the kids are at the swim club for teen night. UGH. Wish I had the energy. I'm just going to DO IT and be happy that I did afterwards....

I know... I don't really know how pedophilia works, but I wondered if it was anything like OCD but in relation to inappropriate sexual attraction then that was going to be a f***ing hellish life, particularly if the OCD component is strong. Seems like everything is on a spectrum

You wrote something about forcible surgery to fix that and it seemed, IDK, barbaric?... well.. I've tried to really work hard on lately compassion and so on, and wondered if I was missing something.

Sorry. I do see your point, and perhaps I shouldn't post just anything I'm still thinking in a work-in-progress way.

Yay for avoiding procrastination. Go you!