Couch 54, Where Are You?

Ready...you got me thinking, so I went back to see my very first thread:

(I was so GREEN)

OK...so today's challenge: post your first post!

I don't even know how to find it .

this was my first thread

in a post by onlymedid she asked about should she tell her T about missing her?and how should she.
someone responded with a comment saying that she didn't see a point in doing this and that stuck with me.
i have been struggling hugely with missing my T lately(something really new to me) and i really don't understand why so this is all interesting to me.
in thinking about it i also cant see a point in telling this to my T in fact i am terrified to tell her this because i think if i do she will be completely repulsed by me and totally push me away to protect her boundaries .
i really am interested to know what benefits people see in telling there T this when they miss them so much.and if you have did you get any benefit or satisfaction in doing so ? was it a bad outcome.was your TY accepting of it.
i could never tell T this and totally understand onlymedid's concerns.just wondering about others opinions and advice about this.
WHATS the point in telling ?

click on your name
THen the STATS tab
Then find all threads by readytostop
hit last on the page number buttons
scroll to bottom of page

(some people have started too many threads, and it only keeps track of a certain number of them...but most of us can find it)

i'm one of those who have started too many so the one i posted only goes back to 2011

My first thread:

it might have been better if I had stopped then... knowing what I know now...

1st post - Newbie to the Therapy scene ( August 2011)

I recently turned 38 years old. I have experienced childhood abuse... mental, sexual and physical,also rape and I like to self medicate. I have had a few sessions but I think they have been kind of me rambling. Quesiton...do I just spill it all out there and let the chips fall where they may or is it even necessary to rehash the old? I feel like my whole world could unravel at any moment. So I have just begun Therapy and I really enjoy it. But, I am afraid I may come off too needy and that my T will dump me. How long will therapy last. Will it hurt me emotionally when its over? I look forward to all the advice. I dont have much of a support structure so this is a God send!

- FYI , it did unravel and she did dump me and it did hurt.
But my self medication is over and I'm taping it back together

I just went back and read all of my old posts.. I will go get some of them!

I didn't write that well...
I didn't mean TOO many as in "you start too many threads so knock it off."
I meant too many as is "there are too many for the system to hang on to"

sheesh. Who am I to say someone has started too many or not enough?

First one on New members intro page

I found this message board by accident.. I was googling questions about thearpy and came across Psych Central..

I recently started thearpy after I realized that my anxiety issues were getting worse. Over the years anxiety started to creep its way into my life until, I realized it was affecting my quality of life. I have been in thearpy for only a couple of weeks and I am hopeful that I will start to see some progress.

I decided to register for this message board, b/c I do have a lot of support from friends and family, but I just don't feel that they "get" what I am going through, I find myself wanting to talk about anxiety, or how my last session with my thearpist, but they just don't get it.

looking forward to getting to know all of you!


First one on Psychothearpy forum

I am new here, and new to thearpy. One of the things that I struggle with is really trusting that somebody is genuie with me.

In my second session with my T I was talking about how crappy it is to be in a full out anxiety ridden episode. The kind where I am certain that there is something very seriously wrong with me. Anyways, my T just said.. something along the lines of "I bet that is no fun, as a matter of fact it sounds like your own personal hell." In that moment I was thrilled that somebody finally understood how I was feeling..

Then later in that day, I was reflecting back on what he said and I started thinking about how that is something that I am sure he says to everybody. He knows that he needs to make his patients feel like he understands that he is making some kind of connection with them.. I mean that is his job afterall. However, that just threw me off, I know I am paying him to help me get through anxiety, but I would like to believe that he also wants to help b/c he cares... but I can't trust that he really cares, and only relates with me b/c that is what he supposed to do. I don't know if this makes sense to anybody, but me.. Does anybody deal with this kind of thinking?

And this one was the 2nd thread (it's about XT) Damn what I wouldn't give to go back in time and post "NO NO NO, don't do it, don't trust him!!!"

The first PM I received was in AUG 2010 and it was from....

drum roll please....

My pal Granite.

Where'd everybody go?

Just sent an e-mail t.. telling him I feel like running away from T in general and my feeling of shame.. Ugh, where is the un-send button?

you see i knew we were meant to be pals even then

I've only ever gotten 4 PMs on PC. The first one was on Mother's Day last year and I think it was from Apt, but it's hard to tell since it just comes up as Anonymous now.

And apparently, I've only ever started 16 threads in the 16 months I've been here.

I have long since deleted my first pm I am not sure who it was from.

I dont even know where to find PM's and i delete them all the time

Finished my assignment and then made a last minute decision to get a haircut. Now that most of the blonde is cut off, I only have blonde tips at the ends of brown hair....I love the short spiked look.

Speaking of how long therapy takes.....My T always used to say that everyone is different and you can't measure how long it's going to take - and told me from the beginning that it would take a long time.

Yet, now he's saying that it doesn't usually take him this long to be helpful.....go figure.

Just got myphone fixed - cking to see if I post.

My new one gave me a time span. Neither way is particularly good... although saying this is limited sets your expectations, up front, so there is that.

it be working

It appears so.

Kids and I are heading over to MIL's house (if they ever wake up from their naps) and I needed a longer sleeved shirt, the one I found is wrinkled. Threw it in the dryer to see if it would take any of the wrinkles out.. It didn't, I am still wearing it and have no plans of ironing it. I am wearing a wrinkled shirt, this either a sign of summer time and I don't have to get dressed up to go to work, or it is sign that I just don't care anymore!