Couch 54, Where Are You?

Why is being able to take care of yourself evil? Tell her you are not burying your talents. This is a difficult one for me. This is about learned helplessness. Like they can only love you if you're a puck-up, pardon my french! That way a) you'll never leave them and b) you'll never outshine them.

Spent an hour crying in bed earlier. Finally managed to get back up even though I did NOT want to do so. I did a ton of cleaning and reorganizing. It feels good. I think I will go do a Yoga video now. I need to remember to never underestimate the power of Getting Up Off My A S S. How do I let myself forget this??!

((( pbutton )))

I hope the crying was cathartic for you....good for you for allowing yourself that time and then pushing yourself.

How come even the simplest communication with my ex leaves me confused and bewildered. Come to that its not just my ex, it seems to be most people.

Personal milestone: I've subscribed to 1000 threads.

Good morning couch! I've been thinking a lot about something that was talked about in the background.... People who don't fit into the "norms" of society.... I guess I have a different take on it... I sort of think when you don't fit into the norms of society it's your responsibility to take responsibility for yourself not other people.

We have a friend who is very tall like 6 8 when he comes to my house which is an old farmhouse he doesn't expect me to have my doorway heights raised for him. I had a friend with a hearing issue...she didn't expect everyone at my party would learn sign language for her so she wore her hearing aids she hates... So it's the same with me.... When I go to picnics, I bring my own chair because a lot of chairs do have a weight limit or I stand. It's my responsibility as an overweight person to not ruin other people's stuff.

But when you have people in your life that live in denial of their own differences or who somehow feel entitled ....then you have an issue to deal with that really isn't yours... And that makes you stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Good morning wiki. I miss your posting. How r your plans coming for the weekend?

Why do I feel like I hear my t words but not what she is trying to say?

No, I've never confronted her about it because I just assume she will say I'm not respecting my elders and am being "sinful". I also am a pretty non-confrontational person in general. T and I are working on me being more assertive.

Morning couch.

I am just chilling before heading out to the senior place. Here's hoping they will need me 2 extra hours (the asked if I could stay 1-2 hours late today when I was leaving yesterday). It's only an extra 9 bucks...but that is better than nothing.

Still a little frustrated with what my mom said last night. If I still am after work today...I may write in my journal about it. Save T from getting an email from me...even though she is okay with me sending emails...I just feel like I am "bugging" her after the week I sent her about 20 because I was "freaking out".

Hey Ready...

I have to make my famous vegan eggplant parm today. Since I use soy cheese, I have to kick up the fresh herbs and make it all about the flavor rather than the cheese. I also have to make cupcakes...I am doing orange cream filled cupcakes and chocolate peanut butter filled cupcakes. The chocolate pb ones will be vegan and gluten free.

H is doing chicken and sausage on the grill, I am doing a ginger lime dill marinade for the chicken. I am also doing a spinach pear salad with my "bacon" vinaigrette. (They'll never know it's not real bacon). I have to make my pasta salad using Quinoa pasta, sun-dried tomatoes, black olives, roasted peppers and a greek flavored dressing that almost tastes like feta. I also have to carve a watermelon. OH...and interesting, I am doing cherry tomato "bloody mary". You marinate cherry tomatoes and seasonings in vodka. YUMMY.

Drink wise I am doing strawberry lemonade, Mike's hard beverages, beer, wine and water.

sounds like you have quite a day ahead of you wiki.

I have to get over to the cosmetology school later this morning ... Daughter wants me to come in for her manicure/pedicure test. Free pedi! Woot!

Oh and btw: my auto immune arthritic kid got a perfect attenance award and has a 99 average on tests!

awwww how awesome is that . i so need to get a pedi but just dont have the emotional energy right now to deal with the public andpeople dealing with my body .i'm ugly lol.

Wow, Wiki, that menu sounds awesome!

Have fun getting a free pedi today...and congrats to your daughter! What an accomplishment!

Good morning, couch peeps.

Did not sleep well last night - I really need a new bed. This one is so horrible that it causes so much pain for me. Ugh.

Anyway, I was awoken by a call from my manager asking if I can do an assignment for 2-1/2 hrs. this afternoon. I agreed, of course. She said it would usually be a higher rate because it's a last minute request, but they don't do that for this client, so it would be at regular rate. I'd rather get 2-1/2 hours of work at regular rate than no work at all, so I told her that was fine.

Hey, at least I still have 2 hours before I have to leave the house which is certainly better than an emergency call when I have only minutes. But then again, it'd be double the money which makes the rushing worth it.

Hope everyone has a good day!

Granite...I've seen your pics. You are definitely NOT ugly. No way.

MUE...thanks...it's my daughter, not my son.

I honestly don't have time for a mani/pedi today. Plus it's raining. But, she chose me out of all of her friends to come to class today, and I am so honored. She WANTS me there. She WANTS everyone to meet me. How cool is that?

Wiki... that is so sweet... its so great that you are the cool mom!!!!

Relax and enjoy the pedi... taking that time to relax will help you be more able to focus on all the other things to get done. Remember things don't have to be perfect for people to have a good time.

Thank you, RTS - I needed to hear this today, to put things into perspective. My issues are mine to deal with, not anybody else's.

I think it is one's responsibility to take responsibility for one's self regardless of whether one fits (or thinks they fit or thinks they do not fit) into norms of society. I think it would be better if everyone just did not worry about what everyone else is doing in general.
That does not mean one cannot get support for what one is going through, in my opinion.

i so don't want to leave my craft room and take a shower and go to the bank and run some errands. cant i just hide again today. i hate the world . but i must venture out

Mastadon,... I'm not sure what issues you are referring to... here I was talking about physical differences that we should not expect that people are going to know to make accomodations for.... or even that they should make accommodations for...

sharing our problems with other people is a way for them to be in our lives and not left out in the cold and it allows us to feel supported even if the issues are our responsibility....

OH and now that I'm thinking about it this does not in any way mean that I don't think we as a general public or society should have to make accommodations for the disabled because I'm a firm believer in making changes in how we work and live so that others who have disabilities will not have to limit their lives .....

SD... I agree that even though our stuff is our stuff.... it is good to reach out to others for support...

I guess I wouldn't associate "not conforming to norms" with physical differences - I thought that was just an analogy you used. In any case, I definitely didn't think you meant that society shouldn't take care of disabled people!

I am supposed to be learning how to reach out to others for support. It doesn't really occur to me. I can have all sorts of crappy stuff going on in the background and I don't think to mention it to anyone. I often have to have T point it out to me.

Rationally, I understand that it's part of being neglected. Most of the time I didn't get any attention, not even the negative attention of abuse (for which I am thankful). T will ask me why I didn't reach out to anyone and I find it very confusing. Interacting with people is draining to me, even when it is people that I like. I still don't understand the whole support thing.