Couch 54, Where Are You?

That's great to hear.
I hope it goes well for you. My T has occasionally done things like this and it can be remarkably healing. I am so glad that you will have his support, as well as whoever else you chose to accompany you, while you deal with this trauma.

MKAC - you and I are set off by different things and we interpret facts differently. I don't see it as either of us being more or less right or wrong - it is just different ways, approaches and interpretations. My soft spots are not children/perceived child abuse (I am not in favor of it, just not set off by it) or perceived narcissism or people being oblivious (again, not in favor, just not incensed). Mine are just different. Not better, not worse, just not the same. I am sure there are people who believe my reaction to perceived someone thinking they get to tell others being what to do, or how to be, or people with children thinking somehow the fact they have children is my problem, or how I react to someone deciding how something just is or what was meant by doing X without checking in with the other person- when it is not what was meant at all - is over the top and could think of other ways to interpret the situation that are other than my interpretation. I get all off when I think people are ganging up on someone or telling them how they must be or assuming facts not checked or being what I think of as mean but calling it straight shooting. Not everyone sees what they are doing as that nor does everyone get as set off by it as I do. I am set off by others telling anyone what they can and cannot do to their own bodies or that living one way is better than living any other way. I see it as just we are different in our sympathies and concerns and soft spots (triggers even, just not a word I usually use). All I did was point out other interpretations. You may well be correct, and the fact I don't see it necessarily as a given, does not negate your interpretation. We all, in my opinion, have biased interpretations. I am very much a relativist and I do better (this is for me) when I assume most people are acting in good faith and doing the best they can at any given time even if they irritate me to no end. And of course my opinion and views on therapists are not the majority nor popular nor without others criticizing me either. Others view the therapy profession differently than I do. And that is fine - I don't believe they are any more right than I am. I am probably no more right either.

At this point, more old and floppy.

When you are trying to break a bad habit or start a new one, do you set up only rewards or do you set up negative consequences as well?

I don't consciously and intentionally set up negative consequences, but T says that I create them anyway. He also says that positive reinforcement works a lot better than negative.

I think I do better with positive rather than negative.

ugh.. Summer job search has begun. Originally H said he didn't think either of us would have to get a job while his hours are being cut. He just shared with me yesterday the amount of money we are losing a month.. I like at him like he was crazy and said, umm hell yes another job needs to be had by somebody else! GRRRR!!

So, it looks like I am going back to my cashiering roots- boo! Well, I have applied for a part time position as Director of Youth Ministries at a local church, that might be cool!!

Unless it's a total accident, a trip, or a crowded locker room, no naked person better ever brush up against me. (other than H, and he has to forewarn me). I think your response, MKAC, is more normal than abnormal.

As far as obesity...I have good friends that struggle with their size...helz, I struggle with mine. The family I was talking about is not just large...they are rude, obnoxious, selfish and just mean. They don't give a crap about anyone but themselves, and unfortunately the young girls are quickly becoming like their parents.

So give me a freaking break already. I reacted, like others do. I was not criticizing all obese people. Just this family. I am frustrated by them. You have no idea what these people are like, and I doubt anyone else would tolerate them as much as I do.

I am so gosh darn sick of being told what I can and cannot say.

damitalltohell.

Who has told anyone what they can and cannot say here? The fact that there are varying opinions does not mean you are being silenced. Isn't everyone entitled to their opinion? Facts are subject to varying interpretations. I don't think that offering different interpretations or mere disagreement is criticizing.

This part, stopdog, sounded like criticism to me, and I'm pretty sure it felt that way to Wikid. You may not have meant it that way, just as you say you did not mean the responses to me to sound critical, but they sounded that way from my perspective. Whether you mean it to or not, for me it felt like a statement that I should not be expressing my upset or discomfort and I needed to just stay out of locker rooms. [That part you said specifically.] That I cannot expect to free from others touching me while they are naked, without my consent, and that I am unreasonable for having that expectation.

On a much lighter note, I am having a great time with my new blender, making smoothies. Does anyone have any particular favorite combinations?

I currently have a ripe papaya, strawberries, peaches and blueberries to play with. I have bananas also, but they are not quite ripe. Oh, and I have plain, vanilla and strawberry yogurt.

I did not intend criticism. I did disagree.

"Whether you mean it to or not, for me it felt like a statement that I should not be expressing my upset or discomfort and I needed to just stay out of locker rooms. [That part you said specifically.]"

My locker room comment was not at you, mkac, it was at the girl who told hankster to get clothes on. I never said not to express discomfort here at all. You are reading things into my posts which are not there.

I rather agreed with your disagreeing. At the same time, there are some who consider what this woman is doing to her family a form of abuse. Many dont approve of Honey BooBoo's diet for example. As an italian, I was horrified at them calling ketchup and squeeze margarine "spaghetti sauce". But as an American - I will fight for their right to parkay.

As for my locker room friend - she was at the rec center every day. She wasnt isolating. She was living life to the best of her abilities, even if her social skills were impaired. Rts, I think you're right, it's probably something her mother tells her.

I will fight for the right for any adult to eat what they want. But when a 12 yr old girl is on insulin, cholesterol medication and high blood pressure meds, something is wrong. That's abuse. (as in the case of this family) Continuing to feed your family unhealthy food when your children are suffering from medical problems due to obesity is just wrong. She would be arrested if she was slowly poisoning them, how is this any different?

Anyways...I choose to let this conversation go, as it is pissing me off way more than I need to be. (shake it off).

Thunder, lightening, pouring rain. There goes my lakeside picnic. I'll have to keep it indoors, which means wet shoes on my hardwoods and carpets. Ick. Good thing I always wash the floors after a party rather than before.

i dont know wiki the weather seems ok here maybe you will luck out my friend. i will be thinking of you today and hope you have an awsome time today.try and have some fun and not stress about it all. accept any help that is offered .pray for sun

i got hardly no sleep last night .every time i fell asleep i dreamt about being back in state hospitals and residential treatment. stupi me for watching that video.i should have known better

(((chickie)))

so what ya got left on the list to get done before the invasion

hubby wants to have breakfast and then go for a walk in the quabin .maybe i will and not sit around the house all day hiding and eating

guess i'm spamming this morning .had a bad night sorry

((( granite )))

I'm sorry you were so triggered and had such a bad night. That must feel awful to relive those memories. I hope you're able to do some things that are grounding today to get you more into the present. Taking a walk with the hubby sounds like a great idea. My instinct would be to hide as well, but I can always hear my T in the back of my mind pushing me to do something active.

Good morning, couch peeps. The sun is finally peeking out a bit after some really rainy stormy days. I hear there's a chance of thunderstorms for the next week, so I'm not too hopeful that the sun will stick around.

Gotta run some errands this morning as soon as my daughter wakes up cuz her BFF is coming over again for the weekend. My daughter is having a great summer so far, having her BFF here 4 out of the last 5 weekends, plus having her cousin sleep over and go to the One Direction concert with us. It warms my heart to know that my daughter is happy and enjoying life.

Hey Granite, sorry about the nightmares. I had trouble getting up this morning because I was up so much last night with really horrible nightmares. I am trying to get things arranged to go get my new exercise bike and coordinate with getting H's brother picked up at the airport and to my MIL's, etc. H and I were supposed to go horseback riding this morning, but since I kept waking up soaked in sweat and shaking repeatedly, I am thinking I am not really calm enough to ride the inexperienced horse I would have to in order to give my H the calm horse.

Morning couch.

I had the weirdest dreams last night. I remembered them completely the few times I woke up during the night, but now I don't, except for random bits and pieces and the fact that they were weird. I wonder what my subconscious is trying to tell me?

Get to see C today...maybe we will have a fun day since I am only there a couple hours and someone else is there before me to run his programs. I'm thinking a bike ride and then frozen yogurt, if he is up to it. I'd rather not have him sitting around watching TV all afternoon.

I'll pop in and out until I have to leave for C's. I have a couple hours until I do.

I hope everyone has a decent day.

On a side note, H and I have been getting along really well. He is being really nice about my desire for this specific kind of exercise bike and hasn't been trying to say that I should continue to use the current bike until it breaks down. He agreed that as much time and wear that the bike actually gets that it's good to get the expensive, hard to find bike I really want when we find it for sale used. He said it's not like it's an expensive clothes rack like some exercise equipment, so it's worth it to spend $175 for a piece of equipment that helps me control my anxiety and helps my health.

He's also been trying hard to do more around the house and ask me what I need. It's so nice that he's trying and making efforts to show me that he cares. Then when he does things that used to really bother me (because they seemed like proof he didn't care), it's not as big of a deal.